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Thought I had got back up but now I am down again

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BrindleStaffy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Somewhere
I am a long term sufferer from depression & anxiety and had a major breakdown in 2007. Ended up having my house repossessed and split up with my wife (amongst other things). Was unable to work for a few years but started working part time in 2013. Made the mistake of going full time in 2015 resulting in a meltdown and back to the 'dark place'. Have battled back a second time and started a part time job in June but I am struggling with my mental health and finding I can't cope with it. I am struggling to concentrate and as a result am making mistakes and not getting tasks done which naturally has been noticed by my boss. As I am "probationary", I have been told I have to improve in the next 4 weeks or I will be gone.
I don't have the strength to pick myself up again and if I do lose the job, I fear I will never work again.
 
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goodgollymiss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2017
Messages
406
Maybe you could ask to work with other people on the project. I never made it to an office job myself so I guess I dont have many ideas
 
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albagobragh

Well-known member
Joined
May 17, 2019
Messages
155
Location
UK
Hi BrindleStaffy, your difficulties sound horrendous - immense respect for picking yourself up and cracking on. If it were me I'd consider having a chat with the boss and explaining the problem. Your boss may be understanding and cut you some slack and help you ease into the role.
 
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BrindleStaffy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Somewhere
Hi BrindleStaffy, your difficulties sound horrendous - immense respect for picking yourself up and cracking on. If it were me I'd consider having a chat with the boss and explaining the problem. Your boss may be understanding and cut you some slack and help you ease into the role.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have had a chat with my boss but she is a "pull yourself together" type of person unfortunately.
 
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Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,076
Location
England. Derbyshire
Considering everything you have gone through, I admire your
courage.

Some people will never understand mental health difficulties.
I was working with someone who said
“I can’t be with you if you continue to take antidepressants”

Her husband had problems at work etc
Unbeknown to her was almost suicidal.
She put it down to his diabetes.
After realising something was wrong she visited the doctor with him.
He was prescribed antidepressants.

Needless to say, she had to change her attitude towards
several people.

Wishing you well.
 
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BrindleStaffy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Somewhere
Considering everything you have gone through, I admire your
courage.

Some people will never understand mental health difficulties.
I was working with someone who said
“I can’t be with you if you continue to take antidepressants”

Her husband had problems at work etc
Unbeknown to her was almost suicidal.
She put it down to his diabetes.
After realising something was wrong she visited the doctor with him.
He was prescribed antidepressants.

Needless to say, she had to change her attitude towards
several people.

Wishing you well.
Thank you for responding.

I totally agree with you that some people will never understand mental health difficulties. I am now ashamed (but honest) to admit that I used to be one of those people. Prior to my own illness, when anyone was off work with depression or stress I used to think they were just making excuses to take time off. I found out in the worst possible way how wrong I was.

I would never wish mental health issues on anyone but after my own experiences, I do wonder if for some people, it would be the only way they would understand.
 
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pink_wink

Active member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
25
Location
Belgium
I too was unfortunately one of those Energizer Bunnies, judging others for working less, until I experienced health issues and severe burnout. My advice is two-fold depending on what you can handle: one would be to take a short-acting anti-anxiety med if it calms you down and helps you do your tasks without the background stress of your boss... if you absolutely need the money; second would be to carry on and spend as much time at work as possible just to show how much you are trying and how much you want it, regardless of the quality of the output. Both carry the risk of burnout unfortunately...
 
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indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
509
Location
UK
Hi Staffy
Sorry things are hard for you. Having these issues in a workplace is difficult. You arent obligated to discuss your health. Not sure what country your from, maybe UK? Its not some law here to lay it in table and only you can tell whether they seem sympathetic. Listen out, put out feelers for their opinion on mh.
Have you thought of changing what you do? Something that will be kinder on your mind?
Do you have spare time to do things that are beneficial to you?
 
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BrindleStaffy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Somewhere
Hi Staffy
Sorry things are hard for you. Having these issues in a workplace is difficult. You arent obligated to discuss your health. Not sure what country your from, maybe UK? Its not some law here to lay it in table and only you can tell whether they seem sympathetic. Listen out, put out feelers for their opinion on mh.
Have you thought of changing what you do? Something that will be kinder on your mind?
Do you have spare time to do things that are beneficial to you?
Hi indigo6, I am in the Uk yes. I have been open and upfront about my mental health issues and did think they were sympathetic but it seems that their sympathy runs out when the standard of work is affected.

I am already looking for another job but after the difficulties I had getting this one, I am not holding my breath for success.
 
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Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,547
Location
Florida
My job history is I get fired-straight out. I am not performing up to their expectations-which I was not. I admire you for having a job. I always had confrontations with my peers and bosses. I could only see my part not theirs. So of course I was not a good fit for the company. I can admit this now but back then never-I stood strong on my convictions. Years later I found that I really do have mental health illness-I just can not function in a work environment.

Just keep trying is all I can say. What kind of job are you doing right now? It did not matter what job I had I always had and mental illness-and this resulted in being fired. I was diagnosed with PTSD with Psychosis. I had a lot of childhood trauma which is deep seated. I sure hope all goes well with you. Right now I am not working. Getting ready to retire-that's how old I am. I have enough work credits to receive an income. Lots of love and hugs and good success.
 
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indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
509
Location
UK
Whats standing out in this is just how much work affects mh and looks like it adds an extra layer of undue stress to our minds. At least youre retiring Jules but its been tough.
I do think time to move on to something that might be less stressful and one fundamentally sympathetic. Theres supposed to be a charter of 'mindful employers ' in UK. Check it out?
 
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albagobragh

Well-known member
Joined
May 17, 2019
Messages
155
Location
UK
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have had a chat with my boss but she is a "pull yourself together" type of person unfortunately.
So assuming there is not a great deal of support and understanding, could you negotiate reasonable targets for you to achieve, preferably in small chunks? You say you are making mistakes and not getting tasks done, is it possible to break these tasks down and then tackle them bit by bit? Is there scope for staying a little bit later (not a long term solution) and taking things more at your own pace?
 
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