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maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Somehow when I'm on shift I can make myself normal but as soon as my shift ends I'm back to my miserable self :/ my last job they were so shocked to hear I suffered stress and depression as I'm so different. Don't get me wrong I have miserable days at work too but more often than not I hold it together pretty well. Is it normal? I kinda feel a fake but I know my low moods are real if this even makes sense :/
 
shaky

shaky

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Somehow when I'm on shift I can make myself normal but as soon as my shift ends I'm back to my miserable self :/ my last job they were so shocked to hear I suffered stress and depression as I'm so different. Don't get me wrong I have miserable days at work too but more often than not I hold it together pretty well. Is it normal? I kinda feel a fake but I know my low moods are real if this even makes sense :/
NO, you're not a fake

I find that there are times when I am busy doing what I am good at or enjoy that all the Mental Illness stuff seems to disappear.
Then suddenly - wham - it comes back

Often hits me like a tonne of bricks on my way home from the pub.
In the pub - happy, chatty, soul of the party
On the way home - misery, tears, screaming, rending and gnashing of teeth.

It's a bummer :shrug:
 
Mister.B

Mister.B

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I'm kinda different.

I can cope more than I normally can at work.....But it's still a struggle, and I have to hide in the stockroom often.

Some days it's like you describe though and I'm completely fine. :)

I'm still dreading tomorrow though. :(
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Im lucky as I enjoy my job but I've only been back to work two weeks in this new job. I was in one setting I just felt like crying and going home and I was rude to my new boss and he said he didn't like my attitude but I just struggle to keep my mouth shut but he did fix it for me to never go back. They're aware of my mh too but its just so frustrating because I just don't understand why I can't make the good moods last :(
 
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stella

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I do wanna find a job because I need to pay my studies lol but I don't find able myself to be stable at a job tbh
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I work through an agency so each week I give my availability and they fill it so its nice to know if I don't want to work a week I don't have to. But I've just come off sick leave from a job i couldnt face anymore. Saying all this today i feel pretty low at work
 
Parissa

Parissa

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Somehow when I'm on shift I can make myself normal but as soon as my shift ends I'm back to my miserable self :/ my last job they were so shocked to hear I suffered stress and depression as I'm so different. Don't get me wrong I have miserable days at work too but more often than not I hold it together pretty well. Is it normal? I kinda feel a fake but I know my low moods are real if this even makes sense :/
Is this atypical depression? It works out in this way. It takes enourmous effort sometimes and can confused you because you feel unable to do things, but then surprise yourself by coping ok. And then you are back to square one.

I have it too, but i also get the type of depression where you cannot get out of bed no matter what.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Ive never heard of that before! I will be doin some research I think :)
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I'm not sure if that is me totally. I suffer with not sleeping well and have only noticed an increased appetite since starting mirt but after putting on weight I became conscious about calories then. I duno im just weird, wish the meds would start helping. I do feel that bad news makes me sulk overly or I get seriously irate. All I know is its not normal to be me :(
 
Parissa

Parissa

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Some people just have reactive moods. Reacting to sad things, reacting to positive things, reacting well when you have to go to work, coming back down when you get home. I think it is fairly normal in depression unless that depression is severe.

I was diagnosed atypical depression once because the psychiatrist made a joke and i laughed a little despite being very depressed a moment before, and flat in my voice. I sometimes sleep a lot, sometimes have insomnia, sometimes eat more, sometimes can't eat. Chocolate craving when low is a sign of atypical depression. Rejection sensitivity too.

You just want to feel well all the time don't you. I'm not sure how you can get there. Counselling and anti depressants is my mission to get there.

:hug:

Love Parissa
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I've been on the new ones awhile but dont really feel them helping but can have them upped again in two weeks. I've been refered for councilling but heard nothing of that yet.
I don't feel like suicide but I just feel so low and miserable. Feel let down by my supposed friend, now I see it was always me going to her and she managed to see me a week or so after my bday for food as she was already in my town getting food with another friend. Supported her to separate from her abusive husband and now I just feel shes forgotten all about me. Shes too busy with her new bfs all the while and I feel like telling her to just fuck off forever. My other friendis a working single mum so very busy but she makes time for me when she can as she knows I'm not well and worries. I don't even feel like I want to be with my bf anymore but we've got a son and mortgage and animals and the thought of separating it all is too overwhelming :( my mum is non existent to me and my dad & his wife is the only family I have really, they've very supportive. I just feel like I'm exisiting that's it and there should be more than this :(
 
madmark

madmark

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its the same for me 90% of the time at work ime fine just doing what I need to finish and mood drops once I stop working :low:
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I don't start til half 2 and I got a letter from counselling service. I need to ring them for a 30-45 min telephone interview :( I hate telephones, i hate talking about me, that is in an oral way. I dont know why I stupidly thought counciling would be a good idea for me.
 
madmark

madmark

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I hate phones aswell very rare I will answer my mobile I will text but I had to have this call from counselling service which I also worried about but once they phoned I sat and answered the questions they asked it was not stressful you just need to do it for yourself it opens up a lot of help it did for me please try and do the call all the best mark ;)
 
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