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This week....*poss trigger*

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danniegirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
73
Location
Horsham, West Sussex
I hit that rock bottom.

I admitted myself (for the first time) into a nhs psych hosp....and within the day discharged myself, I paniced, it was new...

I stayed at my grandparents who live down the road from hubby and daughter and then asked the crisis team to readmit me. This never happened.
I ended up taking an od (which wasn't a suicide attempt) and in an amu for 3 days in a bad way. But what I do remember is 1. My grandparents being REALLY REALLY angry at me (calling me names and actually being nasty) when I told them I'd done it (they've never been nasty like that ever) and 2. The nurses physically hurting me. Like, pressing down hard on my collar bone and squeezing behind the left side of my collar bone and shoulder blade area. Now I don't have bruises but it's still very sore there. I have a bruise on my hip. Like, is hurting patients a way if trying to keep them awake or something? Or was this something else... I went in Monday came out Wednesday and it's pretty fresh in my mind still and all rather confusing....
 
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Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
It sounds as though you've been through an awful time. I hope you're feeling better than you were.

I'm not making excuses for them but your grandparents must have been so worried and scared, particularly if you were at their house when you OD'd. Have you spoken much with them since?

I've not heard of nurses physically hurting someone to keep them awake. That, of course, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen! Were you drifting in and out of consciousness at the time?

It sounds as though they were a traumatic few days. I hope that you don't feel in crisis still and that things are looking a little brighter :hug1:
 
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danniegirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
73
Location
Horsham, West Sussex
Yeah, I've seen my grandparents since and have seemed fine. They have experienced me do it before as I lived with them from the age of 11 until I was 21-when I moved out with hubby..they've never acted like that before..
I was completely out of it... The Nature of what I took was sedation...
I'm not at crisis point but very low...trying to hide it but the evenings are hard..
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I'm glad you're grandparents are fine with you now but sorry that you're still struggling. Have you got any ongoing help? I mean, are you having any therapy or counselling at the moment?

I know how difficult and tiring it is pretending to feel better than you are. If you're not getting any help, a visit to your GP, or psychiatrist, if you have one, might be a good idea.
 
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danniegirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 26, 2011
Messages
73
Location
Horsham, West Sussex
Well I've seen my gp... She's told me to speak to my cc...who is nice but I just don't connect with, I am under a private psych but can't afford to see him/already owe money and I really connect with him, I could see the one at my trust but I really don't get on with him...I know him very well.
Thinking about it all just seems too much..
 
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