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This might be ocd though I don't know

  • Thread starter Johnny Travolta 1845
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J

Johnny Travolta 1845

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This is my first time on the forums so hi.

When I was 14 I started getting intrusive thoughts about being gay now prior to this (and after) I liked women (and still do) and since than these thoughts would come in episodes and than things would go back to normal. Now 9 months ago I started going through these thoughts, at the time I was 17 (I'm 18 now) but I started finding men attractive, and I don't mean I think I find men attractive I mean I legitimately find men attractive now. Whenever i see an attractive man I always cringe for whatever reason, I try not to and I try to sit there and be ok with it but it's hard if you asked me a year ago the idea of doing anything with a guy would of disgusted me and I'm honestly not sure if I could go through doing anything with a guy today either I feel like I've lost a limb and that I'm never going to have the same experiences that I used to have, all the fantasies my desires feel like they have been forcefully taken away from me I really I'm some cases just get angry and just want to accept it but at the same time it scares me to do so because I don't want to be with a guy (I think). And honestly I'm afraid to write this post because I feel like somebody is going to confirm my fears. anyway thank you I'm just at my wits end and feel mentally exhausted I tend to always feel anxious and depressed, if somebody wants me to elaborate I'll gladly do so.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Welcome to the forum. Maybe what you need is more time to process all these feelings. At the same time, it's totally fine to be attracted to men and also to women.
 
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Courtney125

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Hey!

Sooo when you feel attraction to men do you want the thoughts to stop or do you enjoy them? Do you in secret enjoy thinking about men sexually or do the thoughts make you stressed out? Do you want them to stop because you don’t want to be gay for social reasons or because they disgust you?
 
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Johnny Travolta 1845

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I would like the like the thoughts to stop I do not enjoy them one bit, the thoughts do stress me out I feel exhausted 24/7, and they used to disgust me though now Im not sure but it's definitely not for social reasons I have other... Perversions of mine that people would fined socially unacceptable that i have always been fine with
 
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Courtney125

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I would like the like the thoughts to stop I do not enjoy them one bit, the thoughts do stress me out I feel exhausted 24/7, and they used to disgust me though now Im not sure but it's definitely not for social reasons I have other... Perversions of mine that people would fined socially unacceptable that i have always been fine with
It’s OCD
 
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Purpleplum

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It doesn't sound like OCD to me. It sounds like your mind is fighting with these feelings you've had about men.
 
J

Johnny Travolta 1845

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That might be the case as well though these feelings for men go back to September of last year so I'm just bumbed out feels like I've lost a part of me, assuming that that's the case we'll than how do I accept it, I feel like I've been hoodwinked for the past 7 years
 
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Courtney125

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That might be the case as well though these feelings for men go back to September of last year so I'm just bumbed out feels like I've lost a part of me, assuming that that's the case we'll than how do I accept it, I feel like I've been hoodwinked for the past 7 years
I’ve had the same ocd thoughts for 4 years, and I makes me feel so lost and like who am I, what even are my beliefs. The way to help is to not fight the thoughts and accept uncertainty, give the thoughts no value as you would a regular thought. Logic, reasoning will never satisfy OCD, it is a disorder of doubt and will always find a way in. You need to just except the uncomfortable thoughts and they will gradually have less power
 
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Courtney125

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That might be the case as well though these feelings for men go back to September of last year so I'm just bumbed out feels like I've lost a part of me, assuming that that's the case we'll than how do I accept it, I feel like I've been hoodwinked for the past 7 years
If you enjoy sexual thoughts about men and find them attractive it’s not OCD, if you would like to never have these thoughts and never find men attractive then it is.. but it’s hard to tell because ocd is a disorder of doubt so if you think do I like men? It will probably convince you yes even if you don’t. Ahhhh ocd
 
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Johnny Travolta 1845

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So my attraction to men started 9 months ago (I say September as a general time period because it's been a long time) than after a few weeks things went back to normal I don't remember really finding men attractive thereafter though there were a few instances than about two months ago things started back up again but now I undoubtedly have an attraction to men, I just stress out and cringe whenever I see an attractive guy which I really try to stop but it's hard(the cringing and stressing out I try to stop). I don't think I could do anything sexual with a guy but that might change as well, a year a go the thought of being with a guy was utterly revolting now I don't know what I want the only thing keeping me sane is the thought of "well I vividly remember not being attracted to men a year ago and I used to love women so hopefully I can go back to normal" but I have recently tried to ignore that because I see it as a sense of false hope I'd rather emotionally prepare for the inevitable than for it to hit be at full speed, I just wish that I wasn't exclusively attracted to women for 7 years maybe had I figured this out sooner things would be much simpler
 
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Johnny Travolta 1845

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I realiu that I essentially just rewrote my first post sorry
 
JamesWM2051

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You shouldn't beat yourself up over your natural feelings. Some people have a fairly fixed sexuality through life and others are uncertain at times and take longer to work themselves out. Give yourself that space to figure things out rather than trying to allot yourself a role, and then having to conform to that. It seems like a self-destructive thing to me, for people to deny their own natural instincts or attempt to conform to what they think they should be if they aren't that. So just work it out in time rather than trying to ''be'' anything, or ''normal''.

Recognizing attractiveness isn't the same as being attracted to. I'm heterosexual but if someone shows me a picture of Brad Pitt 20 years ago and one of, say, John Prescott from 20 years ago, and then asks me who is the more considered the most attractive then I know the answer. I don't get turned on, but I can recognize when a male looks like a model and when they don't. We can all do that through a form of osmosis I think. We live in a society so are aware of societal values and attitudes generally.
 
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Courtney125

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Hmmm okay not sure if ocd then if you have a genuine attraction to men.. see a psychologist.
 
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