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This is new to me

KittyCat92

KittyCat92

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I feel like I’m dissociating but I don’t really know what that means.

Anyone help me out here?
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Hard to describe, isn't it? Is it yourself, or the world around you, or a bit of both, that feels not quite real?
 
KittyCat92

KittyCat92

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This isn’t helpful but I don’t know. Possibly a bit of both
 
Fioletovayalien

Fioletovayalien

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Hard to describe, isn't it? Is it yourself, or the world around you, or a bit of both, that feels not quite real?
It isn't easy to describe. My counsellor who I involuntarily had to see, kept saying, "what does that even mean?" "It's good nothing feels real, it means you don't have to feel sad,"(not true!) "Our emotions become less intense as we get older"(Not what was happening to me!) I did not like her, ha.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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This isn’t helpful but I don’t know. Possibly a bit of both
I think it is a numbing
Zoning out
Seeing yourself from another position in the room
Like you are in a dream
Daydreaming

It is I think a self protection but also dangerous if you have suicidal thoughts.

Reality can be hard though. Medication numbs me and my mind is less active which is helpful. Restful.
 
KittyCat92

KittyCat92

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I think it is a numbing
Zoning out
Seeing yourself from another position in the room
Like you are in a dream
Daydreaming

It is I think a self protection but also dangerous if you have suicidal thoughts.

Reality can be hard though. Medication numbs me and my mind is less active which is helpful. Restful.
I keep getting this every single morning, usually starts when I’m at work and lasts most of the morning. I hate it so much, I want to just snap out of it but I don’t know how too.

I can’t concentrate on anything properly at all when it’s happening.

Having felt intensely suicidal at the same time I can say it is not a good place to be.

I wish sometimes I could feel nothing but then experiencing this it’s like I don’t know what I want anymore.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I keep getting this every single morning, usually starts when I’m at work and lasts most of the morning. I hate it so much, I want to just snap out of it but I don’t know how too.

I can’t concentrate on anything properly at all when it’s happening.

Having felt intensely suicidal at the same time I can say it is not a good place to be.

I wish sometimes I could feel nothing but then experiencing this it’s like I don’t know what I want anymore.
I think it is self protective, a natural response of your body to whatever it is that is causing you distress right now.

It could also be depression. You said it is in the morning, and depression most commonly i think will affect is in the mornings. Some people say it is like there is a duvet over their head or a veil, the world looks flat and grey. I am like this at the moment, and by evening i am more awake. Being awake is not always an easy thing though is it.

You are doing so well to be at work. Is there any chance you can take some time off sick on sick pay? If work is not too stressful and you have nice colleagues, and it is possible to keep going, that is great, but it is important too to rest. This is all a sign you have reached your limits isn't it.

You will feel better again soon. You might need rest or you might need counselling or you might need medication, or all three.
 
KittyCat92

KittyCat92

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I think it is self protective, a natural response of your body to whatever it is that is causing you distress right now.

It could also be depression. You said it is in the morning, and depression most commonly i think will affect is in the mornings. Some people say it is like there is a duvet over their head or a veil, the world looks flat and grey. I am like this at the moment, and by evening i am more awake. Being awake is not always an easy thing though is it.

You are doing so well to be at work. Is there any chance you can take some time off sick on sick pay? If work is not too stressful and you have nice colleagues, and it is possible to keep going, that is great, but it is important too to rest. This is all a sign you have reached your limits isn't it.

You will feel better again soon. You might need rest or you might need counselling or you might need medication, or all three.
It’s weird to think of it has self protective, it feels so the opposite.

Usually by early afternoon I feel more ‘with it’ and I’m okay for the rest of the day then.

I’m not sure having time off would actually help me. Everyone I work with is really great, they don’t know about any of this, they don’t know about my depression even but they really are a great team of people to work with and to be around. The last holiday I had was 2 weeks off and I struggled really badly not being in that routine. It is tiring as I get up at half 4 in the morning but for as long as I’m in this job I feel like I need it as much for me and my sanity as well as they need me.

I was considered a key worker during the lockdowns and I think going to work as normal kept me going.
 
jajingna

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I believe dissociation is a self-protective response and part of the fight-flight-freeze mechanism that is built into us for survival. There's something going on that we are having trouble with, and with no other way to fight it or escape from it, the mind just takes these little trips away from it. They say it is often the result of trauma, and painful experiences that are hard to accept or deal with, so it seems like we protect ourselves with dissociation which somehow is safer I guess than being more connected to reality..
 
KittyCat92

KittyCat92

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I believe dissociation is a self-protective response and part of the fight-flight-freeze mechanism that is built into us for survival. There's something going on that we are having trouble with, and with no other way to fight it or escape from it, the mind just takes these little trips away from it. They say it is often the result of trauma, and painful experiences that are hard to accept or deal with, so it seems like we protect ourselves with dissociation which somehow is safer I guess than being more connected to reality..
It makes sense in relation to the result of trauma. I hate it so much though, I wish there was a quick trick back to reality. Having really strong urges to hurt myself and/or suicidal thoughts at the same time is hard to fight against, my mind isn’t thinking about why I shouldn’t or what am I living for, it’s like tunnel vision and I’m not in a position to acknowledge reality.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Yeah, it would be good to have someone to talk to about what you are going through. I don't think there's any trick to feeling more connected or whatever. There may be some steps you can take that can be helped by a professional who knows about this stuff, if you could be lucky enough to find one. Sounds like there must be something that needs healing. There's generally no easy fix for that, and it takes time to process.
 
KittyCat92

KittyCat92

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Yeah, it would be good to have someone to talk to about what you are going through. I don't think there's any trick to feeling more connected or whatever. There may be some steps you can take that can be helped by a professional who knows about this stuff, if you could be lucky enough to find one. Sounds like there must be something that needs healing. There's generally no easy fix for that, and it takes time to process.
That’s a big part of the struggle, finding the right person to help. For me I feel like they have so little to give now, the MH services in the UK has been basically ripped to shreds and I have a big problem of invalidating my own feelings that I always firmly believe that other people deserve to be way ahead of me in the queue.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Yes, lots of people need help, but you're just as important.
 
KittyCat92

KittyCat92

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Yes, lots of people need help, but you're just as important.
Logically I know this but the way the world has been has made it so hard to ask for help because I feel like we’ve been made to feel like we shouldn’t. Like unless you’re literally dying of a heart attack then don’t bother coming to us kind of attitude.
 
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