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This illness has ripped me apart

N

Nancourt

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2018
Messages
97
I can't take it anymore. the police came to my house a few days ago because a support website thought i was going to hurt myself. they were wrong. I want to die not hurt myself. I just want it all to end.

this is something that none of my friends family teachers, the police the therapists can understand. They all intervene so passionately when they think I'm going to end ym life but when I told them how much emotional pain I'm in. They just say you need to be strong. What???

whenever someone came to me for help I stayed with them. Even if i didnt know them very well, i stayed with them. No one has stayed with me. They ignore me when i tell them this, they just dont answer or change the subject.


There is no such thing as Karma

i may not be a saint but I don't think I deserve this illness. It has ripped me apart inside out. I have no direction, no hope, no aspirations, no energy. Every night I am hoping for death. I want to die now. i want to be able to sleep a peaceful serene sleep worry and pain free.

The light in my life has burnt out. there is nothing left of me. i am a hollow shell of who i used to be. I hate myself. i hate everything in my life. I can't stand my family, our house, our town and our country and the people in it.

I don't think i was ever meant for this world. i should have been aborted
 
Last edited by a moderator:
N

Nancourt

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2018
Messages
97
i needed help and no one was there. ive never felt so alone. things haven't gotten any better. the drugs didn't work, they just didn't work. nothing has worked. she destroyed my life. she ripped it apart the day she came up to me. either she or god were bored that day i guess and figured sending me through an emotional upheaval would alleviate their boredom.
 
P

Pink1234

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
154
Location
UK
I care for my wife who suffers with Depression, GAD and Dementia. She too talks about death and seems preoccupied with it. I don’t understand it but I listen.

I hope you do get someone or something that will help you.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
430
Location
California, US
I'm so sorry for the emotional hurt and how you're suffering from it with no respite. Was this a severe downturn after a separation from a partner or girlfriend? If you haven't written of it elsewhere here already do you feel like telling us a little about it?

Wishing you a little peace and a measure of relief from your suffering.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,915
Location
hiding behind the sofa
So sorry your struggling are you seeing a doctor about your problems . Hopefully posting on here and chatting to others in a similar situation may be some comfort to you:hug:
 
N

Nancourt

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2018
Messages
97
i am seeing both a therapist and a psychiatrist. im 23 and a student. this was the first time s girl ever showed interest in me.

i've been hoping for peace for 6 months. no luck so far.
 
N

Nancourt

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2018
Messages
97
truthfully ii just want to be dead now
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
437
The illness is terrible. It has also destroyed my life. It is truly the worse affliction a person can have, IMO.
 
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