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T

tiffany

Guest
I HAVE TO SI MYSELF AGAIN TONIGHT AND LAST NIGHT AND MONDAY NIGHT AS WELL.I was basted for most my life from my exboyfriend and my dad was basted me to and my mum exhusband was basted me to and i hate that happen to me all my life. I not sure to say this here because i have bad memorize every day now and i want to forget it but it is hard because i had a dream that my dad was put me on the road yesterday in thought he was waiting out side for me but he wasn't there at all and i hope he wasn't there my dream and i thought was up at 2:30am writing down this but i didn't know were to put it. It is different to me and my mum exhusband was welfare on him and that was mistake that he still basting for year till i left busting me as me as i put there when i was 17 year old went to biloela with a friend they meet some guys there went out for tea over there his parent placethey didn't like me i was so scare there and i didn't know them at all and they didn't talk to me at all. Because that didn't like way i was in my life that my dad was jail
person and my dad got out and start looking for me so he can do some stuff like raped me with his friends that he had it wasn't just him. I wish he is dead in my life and it will be great that he is out my life now and when it happen i will be happy about it. I was in bad relationship for 15 years and i had not friend and family not there and i was scare about everything that has happen to me every time i do some thing wrong he start getting up and saying that i cheat on him with every male in biloela i did do that with one guy that he was women basted to and he basted me in the face every time i say that i going to dump him for other guy in bundaberg that he didn't like it because it was his best for year and i am with him now and being together for one year and two month. We are so happy together and we said that we are getting married one day but don't know when yet and we will try again for other child and we will be great together now and i always be happy with my boyfriend and my kids as well and my step kids to and love all of them together they play together family.I am happy my boyfriend does thing for me and i do thing for him to get his beer and tea and take him out for a drive to be together on our own for hours and next time we go to different place to do thing together our self like we did on sunday night for our drive we did have fun together we talk about thing that we can do together like as bf and gf thing together. I wish we can go to biloela to see his mum and dad as well it will be great to see them to they have three grandchildren as well. I like to do
that one day together me and him as well and we can have a break away from the kids and away from here near cathy so that will be fun we can that one day i hope so that will be fine with my bofriend. I have some thing on my mind now but i don't know how to put it down on here tonight and i hope i can get some help from someone it understand what i mean what i have to say here but how to write it yet.I not sure how say it now because it is hard to write it done on the computer it is else to do it on here. I got to see my councillor on the 22/7/09 this year and see my doctor after it in week and i am worry about it now and i not going to do si it not on my mind yet because i try not try to think some thing else in stead of that i will be keep my mind business away from it.I don't like my kids at all now the r pain the bum and they hurt me today at the car. I have told them to get in there room for hurting me today and i had a sore leg and it is better but it is still have it not so bad now because it is get better. How can i survivors this problem i have on my mind now i hope i can get over it but it take time to get over it.My boyfriend has been very supportive to me all the time and i have been very supportive to my boyfriend. I always have problem from my life now and i hope i can get over it but i know it take time it take time to get over it. I have to see my doctor sometime this week about my blood test and breath test and sonogram photo to see from my doctor this week i hope there nothing wrong with me. I hope it is good news about something i hope so. I what to know what wrong with me now because i always scare of thing that goes wrong with me.I don't wanted to do it again to my life anymore it look like it will be hard to do that because am doing it again sometime later on tonight but it might not happen at all but i can't think of it at all because it might start my boyfriend do it but i am not doing it at all okay and i am keep my self away from it now because i am stress out about my exboyfriend dead because he is my kids father and i can't forget that at all. but my boyfriend is trying keep me safe in my life now i am seeing someone tomorrow but i don't know if i want to see them because i don't know them at all.I am scare going there tomorrow i hope to forget it tomorrow so i can get out of it tomorrow i will stay home tomorrow and not go there tomorrow and i will wait for my appointment. I am not going to my appointment at because i don’t know this person at all i am scare to see that they might not able to help me at all with this problem i got with me been raped by my own dad and five guys as well. I haven't done no more si. :(:grouphug::cry:
 
T

tiffany

Guest
every day issues

I HAVE TO SI MYSELF AGAIN TONIGHT AND LAST NIGHT AND MONDAY NIGHT AS WELL.I was basted for most my life from my exboyfriend and my dad was basted me to and my mum exhusband was basted me to and i hate that happen to me all my life. I not sure to say this here because i have bad memorize every day now and i want to forget it but it is hard because i had a dream that my dad was put me on the road yesterday in thought he was waiting out side for me but he wasn't there at all and i hope he wasn't there my dream and i thought was up at 2:30am writing down this but i didn't know were to put it. It is different to me and my mum exhusband was welfare on him and that was mistake that he still basting for year till i left busting me as me as i put there when i was 17 year old went to biloela with a friend they meet some guys there went out for tea over there his parent placethey didn't like me i was so scare there and i didn't know them at all and they didn't talk to me at all. Because that didn't like way i was in my life that my dad was jail
person and my dad got out and start looking for me so he can do some stuff like raped me with his friends that he had it wasn't just him. I wish he is dead in my life and it will be great that he is out my life now and when it happen i will be happy about it. I was in bad relationship for 15 years and i had not friend and family not there and i was scare about everything that has happen to me every time i do some thing wrong he start getting up and saying that i cheat on him with every male in biloela i did do that with one guy that he was women basted to and he basted me in the face every time i say that i going to dump him for other guy in bundaberg that he didn't like it because it was his best for year and i am with him now and being together for one year and two month. We are so happy together and we said that we are getting married one day but don't know when yet and we will try again for other child and we will be great together now and i always be happy with my boyfriend and my kids as well and my step kids to and love all of them together they play together family.I am happy my boyfriend does thing for me and i do thing for him to get his beer and tea and take him out for a drive to be together on our own for hours and next time we go to different place to do thing together our self like we did on sunday night for our drive we did have fun together we talk about thing that we can do together like as bf and gf thing together. I wish we can go to biloela to see his mum and dad as well it will be great to see them to they have three grandchildren as well. I like to do
that one day together me and him as well and we can have a break away from the kids and away from here near cathy so that will be fun we can that one day i hope so that will be fine with my bofriend. I have some thing on my mind now but i don't know how to put it down on here tonight and i hope i can get some help from someone it understand what i mean what i have to say here but how to write it yet.I not sure how say it now because it is hard to write it done on the computer it is else to do it on here. I got to see my councillor on the 22/7/09 this year and see my doctor after it in week and i am worry about it now and i not going to do si it not on my mind yet because i try not try to think some thing else in stead of that i will be keep my mind business away from it.I don't like my kids at all now the r pain the bum and they hurt me today at the car. I have told them to get in there room for hurting me today and i had a sore leg and it is better but it is still have it not so bad now because it is get better. How can i survivors this problem i have on my mind now i hope i can get over it but it take time to get over it.My boyfriend has been very supportive to me all the time and i have been very supportive to my boyfriend. I always have problem from my life now and i hope i can get over it but i know it take time it take time to get over it. I have to see my doctor sometime this week about my blood test and breath test and sonogram photo to see from my doctor this week i hope there nothing wrong with me. I hope it is good news about something i hope so. I what to know what wrong with me now because i always scare of thing that goes wrong with me.I don't wanted to do it again to my life anymore it look like it will be hard to do that because am doing it again sometime later on tonight but it might not happen at all but i can't think of it at all because it might start my boyfriend do it but i am not doing it at all okay and i am keep my self away from it now because i am stress out about my exboyfriend dead because he is my kids father and i can't forget that at all. but my boyfriend is trying keep me safe in my life now i am seeing someone tomorrow but i don't know if i want to see them because i don't know them at all.I am scare going there tomorrow i hope to forget it tomorrow so i can get out of it tomorrow i will stay home tomorrow and not go there tomorrow and i will wait for my appointment. I am not going to my appointment at because i don’t know this person at all i am scare to see that they might not able to help me at all with this problem i got with me been raped by my own dad and five guys as well. I haven't done no more si. :(:grouphug::cry:
I have found out yesterday there is no problem with me and I have to wait. I hope I do have my boyfriend baby one day but I can't get my hope up about it . It hurt me about not having my boyfriend baby I know it take time but it might not happen yet. I don't know how to cope with my ex boyfriend dead if I didn't have my boyfriend now. I will be very stress out heap and I am glad that I got my boyfriend with me now and I hope we will stay together forever and I love my boyfriend everyday and every night as well. My ex boyfriend he has been die for one year this year and I will be worry about it coming up very soon and I might get stress out about it but I haven't yet but I hope not because it is going put stress on everyone here and I don't like that idea. It will be stress on the kids and I and my boyfriend as well. I haven't done self injury lately and it feeling good that I had talk to someone on adult open chat room they help me through it. I have listen to music every time I on my computers that I am writing this on my laptop computer . I am keeping my self away from doing thing to my self. I not always think of it but that mean that I won't do it because I have forgot were I put it and I hope I don't fine it at all and not going to do it any more. I wish I had some different music on my computer now but he is not ready to do that for now. If there any more problem with me I have to make appointment to my doctor again about it. I don't know what is wrong with me that I can't get some my problem I got on my mind now and I hope I can get it out my mind and think of something else instead been like this all my life seen my dad raped me one month ago and I haven't here from him seen the last one. I never had any dream about my dad seen the last one when he raped me.:(:cry:
 
ms_P

ms_P

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Founding Member
Joined
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Hi Tiffany,
I hope you find the strength to not SI. It would be great if you could tell your counselor and/or doctor everything you wrote about in the above posts. Maybe you could print them out and take them with you to your appointments?
Please take good care, Tiffany. :flowers:
 
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