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This disease has utterly ruined me

H

hello513

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
106
I hate this fucking disease to the core of its existence. I want to send it straight to fing hell, and I think it deserves to go there.

I think that this disease has effectively ended my life sure I could live off the government dime, but any hope of living a prosperous self sufficient life is now dead and there fore my life, id almost rather be dead, in fact I would rather be dead than live life with this fucking disease I am simply afraid of oblivion which is why I haven't ended my life..

If I thought there was an afterlife which I don't id be dead already.

I have zero tolerance for the voices when they appear they elicit curse words and my undying hatred yet I feel my own body initiate a fear response to try to perpetuate a delusion the traitorous little fuck.

I hate my own mind I don't neccesarily hate myself as I dont't hate the part of me that doesn't cause voices, but the part of me that does.

I hate that little fuck and I wish I could pull a fight club and blow him out of my damn head.


I want a neurosurgeon to find the part of my mind that causes the voices cut it fucking out then burn it right after I piss on its grave.

In case you aren't aware I am resentful for getting this godamn disease I ddidnt fucking want it I want to fucking get rid of it.


I don't want to fucking make nice whith it I want to fucking kill it. I fucking hate and despise the voices I want them all to go straight to fucking hell and rot there.

I dream of permanent remission because that would mean my horror show is over. I hate this godamn bitch I want it fucking dead so I am shooting for permanent remission as nothing less is tolerable.
 
Funnyday

Funnyday

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
527
It has ruined my life too. My daughter has had nothing to do with me since 2008. I was in the second year of an honours degree in Social Work at RHUL in Egham. I became ill and failed the year. All that studying and debt for what? Nothing that's what. I come into contact with Social Workers at the CMHT. It rubs it in my face that I failed to become a Social worker. Now I exist on benefits. Getting drunk to obtain tempory contentedness.
 
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