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This disease has utterly ruined me

H

Hello513Zombie

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
1,243
Location
never never land
I hate this fucking disease to the core of its existence. I want to send it straight to fing hell, and I think it deserves to go there.

I think that this disease has effectively ended my life sure I could live off the government dime, but any hope of living a prosperous self sufficient life is now dead and there fore my life, id almost rather be dead, in fact I would rather be dead than live life with this fucking disease I am simply afraid of oblivion which is why I haven't ended my life..

If I thought there was an afterlife which I don't id be dead already.

I have zero tolerance for the voices when they appear they elicit curse words and my undying hatred yet I feel my own body initiate a fear response to try to perpetuate a delusion the traitorous little fuck.

I hate my own mind I don't neccesarily hate myself as I dont't hate the part of me that doesn't cause voices, but the part of me that does.

I hate that little fuck and I wish I could pull a fight club and blow him out of my damn head.


I want a neurosurgeon to find the part of my mind that causes the voices cut it fucking out then burn it right after I piss on its grave.

In case you aren't aware I am resentful for getting this godamn disease I ddidnt fucking want it I want to fucking get rid of it.


I don't want to fucking make nice whith it I want to fucking kill it. I fucking hate and despise the voices I want them all to go straight to fucking hell and rot there.

I dream of permanent remission because that would mean my horror show is over. I hate this godamn bitch I want it fucking dead so I am shooting for permanent remission as nothing less is tolerable.
 
Funnyday

Funnyday

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
710
It has ruined my life too. My daughter has had nothing to do with me since 2008. I was in the second year of an honours degree in Social Work at RHUL in Egham. I became ill and failed the year. All that studying and debt for what? Nothing that's what. I come into contact with Social Workers at the CMHT. It rubs it in my face that I failed to become a Social worker. Now I exist on benefits. Getting drunk to obtain tempory contentedness.
 
H

Hello513Zombie

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
1,243
Location
never never land
It has ruined my life too. My daughter has had nothing to do with me since 2008. I was in the second year of an honours degree in Social Work at RHUL in Egham. I became ill and failed the year. All that studying and debt for what? Nothing that's what. I come into contact with Social Workers at the CMHT. It rubs it in my face that I failed to become a Social worker. Now I exist on benefits. Getting drunk to obtain tempory contentedness.
I get drunk all the time. Its like I live to get drunk it shuts the damn voices up.
 
F

Faith214

Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
11
Location
United States
I hate that little fuck and I wish I could pull a fight club and blow him out of my damn head
I hate that little fuck and I wish I could pull a fight club and blow him out of my damn head
I’ve felt the same exact way about the voice in my head! Your statement made me laugh my ass off. Thank you. I’m learning to adapt to the disease too. Good luck and best wishes
 
Duggie

Duggie

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
604
Location
Croydon
Hi, All I wrote these points in a post and was concerned.
 
H

Hello513Zombie

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
1,243
Location
never never land
Ya well I have it under control now. The little jerk doesn't control me anymore
 
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