Thinking of getting in touch with my friends but i'm unemployed

S

Seth1403

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
Messages
15
#1
Hello everyone!

Back in 2015 I had it all, friends and money but then my mental health problems i spent years hiding got worse to the point where they hit me hard physically and emotionally and one day in work I took a good long look at my situation and thought to myself that I cant go on like this and decided to cancel all my social media accounts and left my work place and I was going to end my life but I had a shiny moment and thought "If I am going to end my life then why should I care what happens to me? Why do I care about what my doctors might think of me if I tell him I need help? Why do I care what my family might think?" Then I thought, if I am going to do this then first I might as well try everything humanly possible in trying to fix what ever is happening to me and so I puked everything to my doctors and from there it went but I cut myself off from my friends and the world I used to know. I've gained two stone and I don't dress like I used too. I'm a shadow of my former self I guess you could say lol

I'm thinking of getting back in touch but right now I am unemployed and its impacting my confidence to speak to them. What do I say when they ask "What are you up too these days?" I cant say "I'm mentally ill and have been deemed unfit to work" Because that will scare them away .

Can somebody give me some advice please?
Right now I don't feel comfortable enough to post what issues I have on this forum but hopefully I will soon. :)
 
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Z

ziedite

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Messages
270
Location
UK
#2
Hi Seth... let me say first.. you are so brave and courageous and should be massively proud of yourself. To do what you have done and to then ask whether you can/should get back in touch with your old friends/acquittances is so strong and valiant. I'm going to post this so your read it first before reading any next posts - as I'm so proud of you!!!!
 
Z

ziedite

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Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Messages
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Location
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#3
Hi Seth... me again... there is practical and emotional advice needed here in my opinion. Firstly, I would figure out from your previous friends who would be the most sympathetic to mental health issues and see if you could have a coffee with them. Either they will get it or they will not... but it is NOT a reflection on you, but on them. If person 1 doesn't work, try person 2. As for explaining the unemployment issue, say simply you haven't been well enough to work but you are trying to get there. The horrible/insensitive people in world will judge you and say that they don't get that, but the sensitive people who understand people's minds will say the opposite. Unfortunately, its really hard to know which is which.


Does any of this help??? Or is there some other kind of guidance we can give?
 
S

Seth1403

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
Messages
15
#4
Thank you for your kind words! I wanted to give it a day before posting back here to see how things went and so far I have gotten in touch with only two but it seems to have gone well. They already had a clue that something was going on with me and they were quite understanding. I spoke to them all day on Saturday and I feel better now that I have reconnected a little and I have members like you and this forum to thank for that as I would never have done it other wise. Thank you for listening and the advice and complement!
 
Z

ziedite

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Messages
270
Location
UK
#5
Excellent first move! Two friends is great amount and I'm so glad that meeting up with them went well. Take it one tiny step at a time, and stay off social media for a while too. It has some benefits, but IMHO it can be unknowingly toxic too. Take care.
 
T

thisisannoying

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Boston
#6
Hello everyone!

Back in 2015 I had it all, friends and money but then my mental health problems i spent years hiding got worse to the point where they hit me hard physically and emotionally and one day in work I took a good long look at my situation and thought to myself that I cant go on like this and decided to cancel all my social media accounts and left my work place and I was going to end my life but I had a shiny moment and thought "If I am going to end my life then why should I care what happens to me? Why do I care about what my doctors might think of me if I tell him I need help? Why do I care what my family might think?" Then I thought, if I am going to do this then first I might as well try everything humanly possible in trying to fix what ever is happening to me and so I puked everything to my doctors and from there it went but I cut myself off from my friends and the world I used to know. I've gained two stone and I don't dress like I used too. I'm a shadow of my former self I guess you could say lol

I'm thinking of getting back in touch but right now I am unemployed and its impacting my confidence to speak to them. What do I say when they ask "What are you up too these days?" I cant say "I'm mentally ill and have been deemed unfit to work" Because that will scare them away .

Can somebody give me some advice please?
Right now I don't feel comfortable enough to post what issues I have on this forum but hopefully I will soon. :)
If you're feeling ashamed of your work situation, you can always keep a distance.
Contact the least judgemental friend and start with a casual chat. See how that goes.
 
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