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Think my intrusive thoughts can make bad things happen. (always guilty)

M

mfh010

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Joined
Dec 27, 2016
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2
Think my intrusive thoughts can make bad things happen. (always guilty)

I’ve been obsessed by certain thoughts, for about 6 years now, it all started when I was younger and always felt guilty about certain silly things that I had done, and I wouldn’t forgive myself, and then I had the thought “I would sacrifice someone having a good life, to stop feeling guilty this(about the thing stressing me at the time),” My mind then stopped felling guilty about the thing I was feeling guilty about, and started feeling guilty about the thought. I then went on about 4 years of feeling guilty about this, and obsessing over it. And then for about a year, I would have the thought I would sacrifice someone( a certain random person that would change each time) to stop feeling guilty(about the previous thought, about someone else), and this was an on going cycle, I would have the thought I would sacrifice someone to stop feeling guilty about the previous thought and then feel guilty about that. The thought that I have been obsessing over for about a year, is that I was watching an nfl match and I thought “ I would sacrifice a person, to make a team (I was going for) win this game.” The opposing team had the chance to win just had to kick a short field goal, however he missed it, I then started to feel a bit anxious about it. Then when the team I had the thought about also just had to kick a short field goal, I had the thought “I would sacrifice the person, for the team not to win this,” thinking they were about to win, and I therefore could prove my thoughts meant nothing. However they also choked, and now have been feeling guilty all the time and have obsessed over it every day since then, I’m not sure what I can do, its just was i just having these thoughts at such an unlikely time or did my thoughts actually do something.
 
calypso

calypso

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Intrusive thoughts are horrible and very common with many people on the forum. I doubt you will act on any of them at all. I found Mindfulness helped me with them and now I have only one which is "Intrusive thought alert" and I laugh at myself. Laughter is a good antidote. But living in the moment is brilliant but needs a lot of practise to make it work. If there is a place near you that teaches it I would recommend it.
 
L

leaf121

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Joined
Dec 7, 2017
Messages
10
Thanks for sharing. There are a large amount of people out there in the world who are dealing with intrusive thoughts. This is more on the Pure O side of things. It's extremely common, but is unfortunately hidden due to the difficulty explaining the thoughts and the stigma attached.
 
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Likrause

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Joined
Dec 19, 2017
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Hi, I have ocd and this is a very common issue. I felt guilty all the time and I know what you feel. What I have to say to you is... when you start a medication treatment for that, you will become someone you couldn't imagine today! I thought : it's impossible to be a different person...and I was wrong. You need patience ...you need medication help. I was like you!I was a 15 years old ocd person, and now I am a 31 years old new person. And don't worry, you will be you! i was afraid to change, but now I see that I am the true me! I was so desperate... I never talked with my doctor about my thoughts, because telling him the obssessions, I would remember the obssessions ...and again, all the pain ! some day I was so desperate, I told him all my thoughts...and he gave me the medication I take till today. It takes a time...but you will not regret. I tried to win this battle alone for years.. trust me, you can win! but you need a doctor's help. all the best for you,...
 
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