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Think my dad has depression (advice needed)

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DreadSmith

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Hello all.
Im in need of some advice on depression, so hoping this forum could help me.

I suspect my dad to have depression, and i feel this because both of his parents passed away over the last year and a half and he hasnt been the same.

He has turned to drinking as a way of coping for sure but I have also recently found out that he has old phone call recordings of him talking to both of his parents, that he has edited his voice out off so he can pretend to call and speak to them.

This bizarre behaviour of his makes me think he hasnt completed his grieving process and has gotten suck somewhere.

Please, what are your thoughts on this?
And what can I do to try and get him help if this is depression?

Thanks
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Speak to him, tell him you've noticed some things and would like him to speak to you about it all.
 
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DreadSmith

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My dad doesnt really open up to anyone, he is the type that wants to be left alone when he is upset. It may sound bad but I dont know how i would approach him about it.
 
Schwarzen

Schwarzen

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If he was close to them and both died so recently then I don't think its unreasonable for him to be hit really hard and perhaps not coping in the best way possible. Deep sadness sometimes is a reasonable response.

But if he doesn't eventually bounce up or at least doesn't give some signs of improvement then it would be fair to say there's an issue. The problem is that beyond offering some general emotional support and getting him to see a therapist, which seems a bit unlikely given your comment, I don't think there's much to do.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Your dad has situational depression (also called reactive depression) as opposed to clinical depression, because his parents died so recently. I think he needs time to grieve, and one-and-a-half years is a relatively short time to grieve. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's highly personal. I think it's understandable he is still grieving. I wouldn't press him about his grieving or his depression. Let it go.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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My dad doesnt really open up to anyone, he is the type that wants to be left alone when he is upset. It may sound bad but I dont know how i would approach him about it.
A lot of us do struggle to open up because you're essentially laying yourself bare. If you don't know how to approach him, or even if you should, you could maybe try leaving him a note saying you've noticed things and hope he's okay and that you're there if he wants to speak. That way you'd leave it up to him but also let him know that he's got someone and isn't completely alone...or at least, he doesn't have to be if he doesn't want to.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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A lot of us do struggle to open up because you're essentially laying yourself bare. If you don't know how to approach him, or even if you should, you could maybe try leaving him a note saying you've noticed things and hope he's okay and that you're there if he wants to speak. That way you'd leave it up to him but also let him know that he's got someone and isn't completely alone...or at least, he doesn't have to be if he doesn't want to.
I was wrong to say let it go about his grieving and depression. Your advice is much better than mine.
 
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