- Jun 18, 2020
- United States
So starting in adolescence I had severe emotional disturbances including mood-swings, self harming, inventory confusion, and substance abuse. Eventually I became addicted to hard drugs and would have frequent turbulent relationships as well as meaningless sex with strangers. That all changed after I got pregnant. I got sober and totally changed overnight more or less. This change happened when I was about 25-26 so was I just bound to naturally outgrow these behaviors? Was I just going through a rough patch that happened to last over a decade? Or was this just the effect of many treatment centers jails and life experiences leading me to become more self-aware? Or could pregnancy have some kind of calming effect on some BPD’s? I think the opposite is also often true. I’ve also staved off most friendships and relationships for the last 3 years and focused on self-improvement and family. I think I was always more of an introvert and a loner even as a child. To some degree, trying to socialize myself into normalcy led me to use and drink and drove me Insane. Maybe I’m better because I am simply being true to myself now. Am I just a disaster waiting to happen once I get back into the world? Also weird is that I’ve had 4-5 drinks Over the past 2 years and have not relapsed Even though I used to fit the criteria for alcoholism. My mom has and has traits for BPD and my dad has some traits for NPD. could some of my troubles just have been learned behaviors picked up from my parents which changed when I gained The self-awareness That naturally comes with growing up? Im 29 now. I’m far from completely healed. Sometimes I still get upset over fairly small slights but I almost never lose my temper anymore or have any other over-the-top reactions to things. I’m super steadfast and almost never make impulsive decisions except for the occasional small amazon purchase. Etc. etc. I am barely recognizable to the person I used to be. How can this be?