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think i have anxiety but i'm too scared

S

sun123

Member
Joined
Jun 23, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Malaysia
hey so before I start I'd like to introduce my suspicions, my life etc in a more organised way so it's easier to understand.

-so firstly, I grew up as a "shy" child, labelled by all my teachers, parents, friends etc. I was studious and was always obedient, and my parents were quite strict and pushed me to do better. I have to admit I did many things well that I tried, most importantly academics. since I come from a culture that values academics it was a great thing for my parents to know and also my teachers were proud. but at the same time, I was a perfectionist and would get upset if something wasn't perfect, or I'd work for hours on something that didn't really matter.
-I was also an insomniac as a child, and I had trouble sleeping, many nightmares, or just got stressed due to the fact that it was late and *I couldn't sleep*.
-I always always the shy kid, and I absolutely hated public, I hated making new friends unless I was forced to. I don't think anyone suspected anything of this.
-ever since I was young I've had gastric problems, not really a medical condition but I just had a sensitive digestive system and I would get random pains due to stress, or worries.

so I still have these symptoms now, even though I'm much older now. as well as this, I grew to develop additional symptoms that I suspect may be anxiety, but honestly, I don't want to self-diagnose and be "overreacting". the symptoms I have are:
-cold hands and feet
-worrying about if I said something wrong
-always thinking about disaster (did someone bomb my friend? will the plane crash? but what if...? etc)
-hating public places or speaking to new people, or even people I already know because I don't like being awkward
-random stomach pains
-the need to always fidget or hold something
-I hate things that are even routine, such as walking off the bus at school
-I have a lot of relationship/friendship issues because i'm ALWAYS worried and concerned about things that are literally nothing
-sometimes i have a worried feeling but I'm not sure which trigger it is
-I have a wild imagination and many phobias??
-absolutely hating parties/crowds
-so clingy holy crap but only for one or two people who I've known for a while
-headaches and migraines whenever I get stressed
-so sensitive and easily offended

the problem is, I'm really high-functioning. and I get really good grades and I excel in a lot of things and my parents won't believe I have anything wrong with me. even though sometimes when they scold me they say things like I have a neurotic issue because I always think I'm getting blamed or attacked or that I'm too sensitive but they never think it's anything like anxiety. and people think I'm overreacting because I still have a decent life. but honestly I don't have an easy life on the inside. still, I could just be a stressed, sensitive person. I'm not sure though.
 
B

Boudicca

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 1, 2020
Messages
364
Location
London
I have some of the anxiety symptoms that you have. I get migraines and stress headaches also. I catastrophise all the time. I’m sensitive too and things can upset me really quickly. I too feel like I’m getting blamed and attacked. I’m restless and fidgety too and always hug my pillow because I feel so insecure. I’m a very sensitive person. If you need someone to chat to! I’m here!!
 
M

Manda74

Active member
Joined
Jun 23, 2020
Messages
37
Location
Tyne and wear
I suffer Aniexty, my worst symptom is the lumpi get in between my ribs. Then it just takes over me, head aches, crying, numbness in face and i to cuddle my pillow x Im medicated and on a high dose of anti depressent. When im feeling good im good but when im bad im bad. No happy medium x
I lost my Mum 18 years ago and 6 mths after my husband. My life has never been the same, if i could manage the aniexty my life would be good.
i have a lovely home, 2 grandaughters, 2 pooches a boyfriend of 7 years and 2 sons x i have to cope through it x
Dont be afraid there are so many people with this awful illness, i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy x please see the dr xx
 
J

Julie41

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
111
Location
Peterborough uk
I suffer Aniexty, my worst symptom is the lumpi get in between my ribs. Then it just takes over me, head aches, crying, numbness in face and i to cuddle my pillow x Im medicated and on a high dose of anti depressent. When im feeling good im good but when im bad im bad. No happy medium x
I lost my Mum 18 years ago and 6 mths after my husband. My life has never been the same, if i could manage the aniexty my life would be good.
i have a lovely home, 2 grandaughters, 2 pooches a boyfriend of 7 years and 2 sons x i have to cope through it x
Dont be afraid there are so many people with this awful illness, i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy x please see the dr xx
Hi Manda
I too have anxiety badly at the moment
Also, like you have lost people dear to me in the past & very recently. Since January 2020 I’ve had the worst time ever - never felt anxiety like this before even though I’ve been on meds for many years
I’ve had CBT which finished in april
I’ve learnt a lot with techniques of breathing, distraction & positive thinking
But some days nothing works!!! Does this happen to you ??? Today I cannot motivate myself - woke at 4am in a panic, shaky, hot/cold, scared, dread & burning skin also lightheaded
I’ve tried several times today to get on with my sewing ( which is my job at home)
But ended up twice laying on the bed with the fan on as even the heat is making me anxious - feel a failure because I can’t cope all the time
X
 
M

Manda74

Active member
Joined
Jun 23, 2020
Messages
37
Location
Tyne and wear
Hi Julie,

I have had counselling, but my aniexty has never left me, some days my aniexty is completley out of my control and i literally have to go to bed. I sometimes cant sleep with it as i cant relax. It makes me feel empty, and im very jumpy.
I was getting on ok, and feel the lock down has set me back, and the more people i speak to im hearing the sane thing. We are not failures, things that have happened in our lifes have worn us down and i think our mind and body cant take it any more - that leads us to panic attacks. I wish i was stronger, mentally but ive tried and i cant do it. I get so emotional and upset and i know i stew on things but its who i am. To look at me i look fine, and alot of people are shocked as i was so out going.
One thing that can help me is having an ice lolly, crazy i know but the coldness calms me abit xxx much love honey x
 
J

Julie41

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
111
Location
Peterborough uk
Thank you Manda for replying - honestly it does help to know that you’re not the only one X
I too feel I should be stronger !!
I can’t seem to get to grip with all the physical symptoms it just makes me worse
I find it really hard to get it into my head that if I worry & dwell on things then it will cause all these physical Sensations & mind problems - seems so extreme 😱
Some days I just can’t cope - don’t know why ! I have just managed to eat for the first time today - as also get nausea-
My family do know my struggles - some are ok but others just think you have to think positive !! ( if only it was that easy) I hide it as much as l can to people I don’t know - the smiles & laughs are just a front as I’m usually trying to run away
I should be happy - I have a lovely husband who tries his best but it’s hard to talk to someone who has no idea what this is & what it puts you through
Hoping for a little better day tomorrow
🤞xxx
 
E

Eirlys

Member
Joined
May 21, 2020
Messages
23
Location
England
hey so before I start I'd like to introduce my suspicions, my life etc in a more organised way so it's easier to understand.

-so firstly, I grew up as a "shy" child, labelled by all my teachers, parents, friends etc. I was studious and was always obedient, and my parents were quite strict and pushed me to do better. I have to admit I did many things well that I tried, most importantly academics. since I come from a culture that values academics it was a great thing for my parents to know and also my teachers were proud. but at the same time, I was a perfectionist and would get upset if something wasn't perfect, or I'd work for hours on something that didn't really matter.
-I was also an insomniac as a child, and I had trouble sleeping, many nightmares, or just got stressed due to the fact that it was late and *I couldn't sleep*.
-I always always the shy kid, and I absolutely hated public, I hated making new friends unless I was forced to. I don't think anyone suspected anything of this.
-ever since I was young I've had gastric problems, not really a medical condition but I just had a sensitive digestive system and I would get random pains due to stress, or worries.

so I still have these symptoms now, even though I'm much older now. as well as this, I grew to develop additional symptoms that I suspect may be anxiety, but honestly, I don't want to self-diagnose and be "overreacting". the symptoms I have are:
-cold hands and feet
-worrying about if I said something wrong
-always thinking about disaster (did someone bomb my friend? will the plane crash? but what if...? etc)
-hating public places or speaking to new people, or even people I already know because I don't like being awkward
-random stomach pains
-the need to always fidget or hold something
-I hate things that are even routine, such as walking off the bus at school
-I have a lot of relationship/friendship issues because i'm ALWAYS worried and concerned about things that are literally nothing
-sometimes i have a worried feeling but I'm not sure which trigger it is
-I have a wild imagination and many phobias??
-absolutely hating parties/crowds
-so clingy holy crap but only for one or two people who I've known for a while
-headaches and migraines whenever I get stressed
-so sensitive and easily offended

the problem is, I'm really high-functioning. and I get really good grades and I excel in a lot of things and my parents won't believe I have anything wrong with me. even though sometimes when they scold me they say things like I have a neurotic issue because I always think I'm getting blamed or attacked or that I'm too sensitive but they never think it's anything like anxiety. and people think I'm overreacting because I still have a decent life. but honestly I don't have an easy life on the inside. still, I could just be a stressed, sensitive person. I'm not sure though.
Hi, if you're anxiety is making you miserable then you're not overreacting. I can very much relate to you saying that being high functioning makes it difficult to deal with anxiety as you just carry on despite really struggling. I was so depressed due to my anxiety through my first semester at university and ended up being put on medication, but through this I was still getting firsts and being sociable. If you want to get help due to feeling like it is having a negative impact on your life (even if from the outside it doesn't look like it) then do. Hope this was helpful :)
 
M

Manda74

Active member
Joined
Jun 23, 2020
Messages
37
Location
Tyne and wear
Thank you Manda for replying - honestly it does help to know that you’re not the only one X
I too feel I should be stronger !!
I can’t seem to get to grip with all the physical symptoms it just makes me worse
I find it really hard to get it into my head that if I worry & dwell on things then it will cause all these physical Sensations & mind problems - seems so extreme 😱
Some days I just can’t cope - don’t know why ! I have just managed to eat for the first time today - as also get nausea-
My family do know my struggles - some are ok but others just think you have to think positive !! ( if only it was that easy) I hide it as much as l can to people I don’t know - the smiles & laughs are just a front as I’m usually trying to run away
I should be happy - I have a lovely husband who tries his best but it’s hard to talk to someone who has no idea what this is & what it puts you through
Hoping for a little better day tomorrow
🤞xxx
Thank you Manda for replying - honestly it does help to know that you’re not the only one X
I too feel I should be stronger !!
I can’t seem to get to grip with all the physical symptoms it just makes me worse
I find it really hard to get it into my head that if I worry & dwell on things then it will cause all these physical Sensations & mind problems - seems so extreme 😱
Some days I just can’t cope - don’t know why ! I have just managed to eat for the first time today - as also get nausea-
My family do know my struggles - some are ok but others just think you have to think positive !! ( if only it was that easy) I hide it as much as l can to people I don’t know - the smiles & laughs are just a front as I’m usually trying to run away
I should be happy - I have a lovely husband who tries his best but it’s hard to talk to someone who has no idea what this is & what it puts you through
Hoping for a little better day tomorrow
🤞xxx
Ahh honey, im the same nausea and bad tum. My partner doesnt understand atall, and because of that im sometimes more anxious. He will ask whats wrong and all i ever say is my aniexty is bad, he sometimes goes on and on at me.
Try and relax and have a good sleep, i know its hard. Im here if you need to talk, we can try help each other xx
 
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