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Think about/and do harm myself regardless of whether I am high or low

topsyturvy

topsyturvy

Member
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
19
Location
UK
I just wondered if anyone else gets these thoughts and urges. I find that when I am low that I need to be punished for how worthless I am, and at rock bottom just to make it all stop. Whilst when I am high, I feel quite invincible, so the idea of stepping in front of a car or taking pills are just a test of my endurance or just a pure thrill. Or in the case of pills, to slow my mind a little.

I wondered if anyone else experiences this?
 
M

maudikie

Guest
Have you talked to your doctor about this problem? Ican't make a diagnosis, but it sounds as though you are on a real down. I suggest you see yor doctor who mayr efer ou to a socia worker or a group where you could talk about you problems. Get the off your chest.
Take care.
 
topsyturvy

topsyturvy

Member
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
19
Location
UK
Have you talked to your doctor about this problem? Ican't make a diagnosis, but it sounds as though you are on a real down. I suggest you see yor doctor who mayr efer ou to a socia worker or a group where you could talk about you problems. Get the off your chest.
Take care.
It is fine. I'm not looking for a diagnosis on here, I just wondered if anyone had a similar experience. You are right about one thing though, I am pretty down at the moment. I am in the process of being sent to a pdoc. I have had months of counselling and I've met a social worker. Hopefully the pdoc will have some answers for me.

Take care as well.
 
S

satnin1981

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2009
Messages
9
Location
York, UK
I totally understand where you're coming from. I have the same problem. I punish myself when I'm down and I think I'm invincible when I'm manic. Last year, when I was in a mixed episode, I ended up in A&E and narrowly escaped being sectioned (thanks to a good friend who virtually carried me out of the hospital). It wasn't the first time something like that had happened, and I'm guessing it won't be the last.
My psychotherapist doesn't understand, and I haven't really had the courage to discuss it with my pdoc. Right now I'm in a real low, and therapy really isn't helping, probably because my paranoia's getting in the way.

Take care,
Marty
 
FastLaneC3

FastLaneC3

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2009
Messages
87
Location
ON, Canada
Similar yes. My meds cause me to impulsively and obsessively hurt myself. Not sure if I do it because I feel worthless, I just do it.
 
B

babs

Member
Joined
May 21, 2009
Messages
24
Location
northern ireland
I just wondered if anyone else gets these thoughts and urges. I find that when I am low that I need to be punished for how worthless I am, and at rock bottom just to make it all stop. Whilst when I am high, I feel quite invincible, so the idea of stepping in front of a car or taking pills are just a test of my endurance or just a pure thrill. Or in the case of pills, to slow my mind a little.

I wondered if anyone else experiences this?
i know what you mean im the same i always self harm in all kind of different ways regardless of high and low but i would have more mixed epesoids now but that came after a long hypo-manic state for 2 months now im self harming all the time with cutting and tablets to slow down and cutting to feel im really here dont know where i am half the time, im glad i found this post as your not alone i am quite simular and im glad i dont feel like the only 1 now
 
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