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em21

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Nottinghamshire
Then focus on those reasons, focus on what you’ll miss when you’re gone. I know it’s difficult and I understand the idea of being tired and ready to give up, I really do, but imagine missing out on the amazing life you already lead !
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,565
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
That is such a kind gesture .
Thank you so much . Without meeting you I can say you have a heart of gold . I don’t want to let it win because I do have reasons to live but when something is eating you inside no matter how much you try to look ahead you never can .
You deserve the reasons to live :hug:
 
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AL123

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
52
Location
England
I’m so scared though what if I do suddenly just give up . Without realising.
 
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em21

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Nottinghamshire
Fight it. Write a list of things you care about and / or would miss and read it as often as you can. Things like hearing the rainfall as you fall asleep, the freshness of a winter morning etc. Ground yourself.
 
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AL123

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
52
Location
England
That’s good advice and should try that. Yet as I’m typing away all i can think of is horrible thoughts . I just feel as if it’s one battle to much right now .
 
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em21

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Nottinghamshire
Yeah I definitely recommend it, try starting a small list now and add to it over time or even add a new thing every time you feel sad / down. Maybe try taking a small nap now and see if you feel better after?
 
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AL123

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
52
Location
England
It’s just seems like I’m losing myself completely . Making wrong decisions even when I know they are wrong and just doing things I’d never usually do. It’s as if I’ve let my soul leave me and I’m just carrying on without it .
 
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em21

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Nottinghamshire
Without knowing you personally I can assure you that you aren’t a bad person for doing these things. You’re a good person, a strong person and someone who just needs time to heal again. Give your mind some time to fix itself and don’t give in to the shit your head is telling you, it doesn’t want you to succeed but you should, you are worth everything and more
 
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AL123

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
52
Location
England
That’s very kind words . Just feel so worthless right now with life . It’s like it’s just a day passing by with same old stuff happening . Believe me I want to get back on track. However these thoughts just aren’t letting that happen .
 
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em21

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Nottinghamshire
Maybe it’s worth feeling these emotions you’re having and acknowledging them, don’t submit to them or let them control you but just be like “yeah I’m feeling down, but it’s not forever” sorta thing. I understand it’s simpler to be said than done but it’s worth a go.
 
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AL123

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
52
Location
England
Have had another bad day today . I’ve had more bad thoughts and some of them have actually been lonely thoughts . Which I shouldn’t be having .
 
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em21

Member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Nottinghamshire
No that’s definitely not a good sign, I’m happy you’re still here though. I was worried when I didn’t hear from you in a while.
 
LadyDomino

LadyDomino

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
142
Location
Dorset
Eventually the bad days do start to get lighter. OK I know that sounds easy to say, but it is the truth. Look for the little things that you like, such as the fact there are people here who are listening to you. They do that because @AL123 they care, because many have been in the same place as you.
 
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AL123

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
52
Location
England
I just feel incredibly low and I can’t see how I’m going to change . I have felt like this before , but this seems to be something that I just can’t fight and am defeated. I want to get back on track, but right now the demons in my mind are winning and I can’t seem to fight them .
 
lilbit

lilbit

Member
Joined
May 3, 2018
Messages
21
Location
London
Hang in there, it will change, it will get better. The fact that you're here sharing your feelings and fears is already a step closer to getting through it. Take each day as it comes, and one of them soon you'll wake up and realise that the worst has passed and you're stronger than you gave yourself credit for :)
 
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