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There's this girl...

J

Joe_

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Uk
Hi,

So I usually come on here to vent and/or look for guidance.

Basically there's this girl. We've been talking 2 months, been on 5-6 dates and talked everyday on Snapchat, and two weeks ago she went to France to work. She's got a month left there. I really like her, and she's told me she likes me, but that she wants to just take it slow for now and see what happens. She has however promised me that she won't screw me over and sleep around when she's away or talk to other guys. I trust her. But my anxiety doesn't. I can't help but overthink.

I have this really bad habit of checking people's online status on different apps to see if they're ignoring me, and for the last 3-4 days she's been super distant with me and barely talked and just isn't herself. I've asked her if she's ok and she said she's absolutely fine. However I've noticed that's shes been ignoring my messages and staying online on Instagram for ages instead. This makes me think she's talking to someone else on Instagram. I hate to think this way because I want to trust her so bad, but at the same time I just keep thinking "well what if she's found someone better, someone less broken". She'll just randomly leave our conversation for a bit and go back to Instagram for a couple minutes, then come back to our conversation and constantly hop back and forth like that. I know for a fact that she still has tinder downloaded despite telling me that she doesn't use it and that she won't talk to anyone else. This just makes me worry that she's found someone else even more.

She doesn't send random pictures or videos anymore like she used to, and she barely talks to me unless prompted. I don't know what's happened in the last few days to cause such a change. She said we're just not talking because we're so busy, but she's doing the same job that she was last week so I have no idea what changed to all of a sudden make her so busy.

I want to ask her about it but if I open up with my feelings and thoughts then she'll see how broken I am and probably leave, plus it's not fair on her for me to do that to her.

I don't know what to do. I know im paranoid and it's stupid and lame. I'm 21 and worrying about the most ridiculous things. But I just can't tear my mind away from it.

Anyways, ya, that's me for today.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
3,576
Location
England
She is probably talking to a friend or relative. If she says she won't 'cheat' then you need to trust her.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
4,623
Location
Nashua NH
I don’t know that this is just you being paranoid. Anyone would be anxious in this position, especially since your relationship totally lacks any kind of definition or commitment. It allows her the opportunity to string you along while perusing other options. While that doesn’t mean that is what she is necessarily doing it could. I think your concerns are perfectly valid and because the truth of finding this out could be scary you may not want to ask her about it because you might not want to know The Truth. You have to ask her about these things and confront her about Instagram. If she says that you are crazy then tell her because your relationship lacks definition it has made you very insecure. If she really likes you that much she will try to work things out with you. There is the possibility she could end things but if the relationship is that fragile it probably would have ended over something anyway. Be brave and fight for your own mental health, sense of security and wellness in this situation. Relationships should be a positive thing and not cause either party to go insane. xo, j
 
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