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There should be an anger issues forum

Unloveable2Day

Unloveable2Day

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 28, 2020
Messages
78
Location
USA
I picked this forum but not sure if it’s the right one. There should be an anger issues forum.

I don’t know why I get a feeling of anger but when I see an instance of a parent being kind or loving to their kids, it makes me angry. I physically feel a knot in my stomach. I hate that I feel this way. It’s probably jealousy more than anything.I see posts on social media where a parent is wishing their kid a happy birthday and doting on them and telling everyone how great they are. And I get this feeling of anger and I hate seeing it. I usually say shut up and scroll as fast as I can by it. I know feeling this way is bad. I would never say anything like that to anyone personally. But the thoughts are there nonetheless. How do I stop it? I wish i could get amnesia and just make it all go away.
 
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L

LokiPokey75

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2020
Messages
512
Location
United States
Hi Unloveable2Day!

I can understand being upset by people's comments on social media, but it definitely sounds like you have a lot of pent-up anger towards your own parents. What do you think was lacking in your own relationship with them?

I discovered how invalid I felt in my mother's eyes, that if my opinions weren't positive, she'd always suggest me trying to change them to be. In its own way, it felt like she didn't accept me as I was because she always urging me to find the positive when I was clearly a negative person. Had I felt like that was okay, maybe our relationship would have been better.

If you're looking to stop the thoughts, I suggest finding the source of your frustration first. What bothers you most about these comments? How could you learn to change your thinking while at the same time accept your own feelings? It's okay to feel jealous. Be with that. But is there a fear hiding underneath that anger that you haven't addressed?

Take some time to figure out why these thoughts are plaguing you. Let them be there. It's not the thoughts that are bothering you (they're neutral); it's what those thoughts could mean for your life and how you feel about those thoughts. You may realize there are some things you need to address with your parents. If you can't, then therapy would be a great alternative.

You deserve to have love, Unloveable. You just need to find it in yourself and fulfill your own needs rather than hope your parents will. I did that for way too long and it definitely ruined a good portion of my life.

Good luck, 2Day...and 2Morrow!
 
toutatis

toutatis

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
1,136
Location
New Zealand
I agree, there should be an anger issues forum. Dealing with anger. Healthy anger etc.
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
2,538
Location
United States
I picked this forum but not sure if it’s the right one. There should be an anger issues forum.

I don’t know why I get a feeling of anger but when I see an instance of a parent being kind or loving to their kids, it makes me angry. I physically feel a knot in my stomach. I hate that I feel this way. It’s probably jealousy more than anything.I see posts on social media where a parent is wishing their kid a happy birthday and doting on them and telling everyone how great they are. And I get this feeling of anger and I hate seeing it. I usually say shut up and scroll as fast as I can by it. I know feeling this way is bad. I would never say anything like that to anyone personally. But the thoughts are there nonetheless. How do I stop it? I wish i could get amnesia and just make it all go away.
Don't wish for amnesia..in my case it has a mind of its own. I don't think what you are feeling is bad, it's just what you are feeling. If you can't stand something you can't stand it...no use in trying to force yourself to like or accept it due to norms. I can only imagine the disturbance that would come with that. Also you are not harming anyone which is really good.
 
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