• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Therapy conversations...

K

kirrr

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2015
Messages
11
I'm seeing a new therapist and am not sure if the conversation is actually normal. I find that she was mostly repeating what I've said about how I feel. I don't find it helpful to be honest. At the end of the session I felt like I just wasted money on things I already knew.

Just wondering how the conversation goes in therapy for others and the difference with different therapists. What are your experiences with therapists. How does the conversation go? How do you feel at the end of the session?
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,750
Location
Europe
I have only had experience of one therapist, which is a very limited range, but during my short run of sessions with her she was content to let me do nearly all the talking and said very little to guide the conversation. Minimal intervention. If I had been paying (this was on the NHS) I would have expected a more pro active approach, and more involvement on her part. I certainly didn't think I got my money's worth.

But I was quickly referred into group therapy with the same therapist guiding the group, and there her therapy style was a lot less critical as a lot of your contact and interaction comes within the group.
 
pepecat

pepecat

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Messages
13,913
Location
middle earth
I've had experience of three different therapists, and how they are with you and what they ask / say depends very much on them as a therapist, how experienced they are, what you're saying, and what sort of therapy it is.

Everyone's experience of therapy is different because the relationship between you and the therapist is unique. No relationship between two people is going to be the same because everyone's different. Saying that though, the three therapists I saw did have different approaches. One was a counsellor, who used to do the 'repeat what I've said' stuff (and do it quite a lot), which used to annoy me a bit. It was like she was a mirror just relfecting back to me what I'd said, which I didn't find helpful, though I know that is an approach that is used. In doing that - almost repeating what you've said - it can help you clarify whether what you've said is what you mean, or if it might be something different. Sometimes it's only when we hear someone else saying how they think we feel, that we go 'Oh, not actually, that's not quite it, it's more like this' and then we begin to see how things are and how they might change.

Another therapist I saw was person-centered, and she didn't used to do it so much - she'd say things like 'That sounds like it was tough' instead, and that also got me to clarify things a bit as well.

The third one I saw - and for the longest time - is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, and she generally makes me do all the talking. She doesn't start sessions - always waits for me to do that, and very very rarely repeats back to me what I've said. She does a lot of 'talk more' or, 'tell me more about that', but when she does chip in a bit she totally gets what I've said. So for example if I've said I'm having a hard time expressing my emotions and I don't know how to do that, and I feel all sort of pent up and it's weird', she might get me to talk a bit more and then she'll say 'You feel frustrated?' - it's as if she can pin down and clarify what I think better than I can. But she is pretty experienced (I'd guess) and also good at her job, so that's probably why she does it so well.

So it does all vary, depending on the therapist, what sort of therapy it is, and how you get on with them, though some 'flavours' of therapy might be more 'repeat / reflect what your client is saying' than others.

As to how you feel at the end of a session..... totally depends on what's been talked about and whether I've felt understood and heard or not.
 
Top