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Tawny

Tawny

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I am glad i am not a baby who has just been born. What a mess.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I could cry and die. It is paralysing. I don't even know what to do. There is so much mess in my own life, my mother's life, my family, my friends, my town, my country. I feel like everything needs to STOP and we need to start again.

Depression does make me dwell on this, i lose and optimism, but i am not that depressed, i don't know how much, whatever, it is irrelevent actually.

Animals, that hurts me more than human suffering. Animals suffering. I want to save them all, i want to die over this it is so painful. I'm not going to, but it is very frightening and devastating, an emotion too strong and overwhelming i cry myself to sleep over this.

I'm terrified of my own pets being hurt, or if i accidentally die, who will look after her? Will they feed her the food she loves, keep her indoors, love her as much as i do?

Will i lose all of my money and be kicked out on the streets? How will she go to the toilet if we don't have anywhere to live?
 
B

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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There are charities that can look after animals when their owners pass away. It is a huge responsibility having an animal. We are responsible for their happiness, health and every single part of their life. I can understand you worry about your cat. I think that is down to loving her so much.

You will not be homeless. You are safe with the housing association. I cannot ever seeing your benefits stopped due to your diagnosis. I understand you worry about it.

It is very upsetting and triggering to see animals suffer. I think it is best you stop watching the news were their stories are often shown. You need to protect yourself.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Thanks Bee. She is signed up to that service. Cats protection. I might sign her up to the RSPCA one too.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Thank you
Charities doing good work
I'm doing my tiny bit
My positive for the world not a negative contribution
I just realised this evening that doctors without borders is the same as medicine sans frontier :doh:

I'm bed, clean enough, eaten enough, washed up, people being cared for, the cats in my life are ok, the people in my life can look after themselves like I have had to do.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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England
I hope i don't get like that again tonight. I'm sleepy all day and wake up gradually as the day goes on. Then i take my medication and a couple of hours later, it is like the rug is pulled from under me. I always think the medication brings me back to full reality. Does it drain away my dopamine? I don't even know.

I'm so tired. Trying to keep the light coming in. I ate a good healthy lunch, and am trying to be productive today.
 
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bpd2020

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Do not put pressure on yourself to do too much. It is okay to have a quiet day.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Nov 10, 2019
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2,758
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England
I wish i could push the pause button and stop still, but it is hard to keep still. I think even if i had one leg, i would still be hopping all over. I didn't sleep today, i lay down for 1 minute at a time even with the cat next to me, but i have been making cards for next year so that was relaxing.

I hope you have had a nice day. It is sunny and warm here today and tomorrow it will be hitting 30 again. Summer-Autumn-Summer-Autumn :scratcheshead:
 
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