The weed problem

Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

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#1
I hope you are all doing well today, and if you are not I am sending love that it will pass soon.

I have always berated myself for my weed addiction. Yeah, it’s not as harmful as opioids or other things. But I guess the fact that I feel incapable of getting through stuff sober is what makes me feel ashamed.

Add to the fact that I have seen heroin addiction first hand from my mother, from ages 3-22 (present day). I have always told myself I would not fall prey to any addiction, but it is not so simple.

When I do not have weed, I often go to alcohol or nicotine. i have been sober for 2 days... and I want to smoke today. I have no money to do so, and I really need to quit ... but sobriety can be such a pain... i don’t want to go back to loving weed more than my own self... wanting to get so high nothing is real and nothing matters... like a euphoric dissociation...

Now, in my sobriety, I’m just plain old dissociating. In some ways it’s a comfort and I am pulled away from either the intensity of emotions or the overwhelming emptiness... I am out of my body. But of course it doesn’t solve anything and I have been breaking down everyday.

I go from sobbing hysterically one minute, to singing to music the next, to lying on the floor and staring at the wall motionless.

I wish I could help my mother with her addiction. I wish I felt close to her. I have put up so many walls between us that I find it hard to tell her I love her. I actually cannot remember the last time I said it. I know she is struggling more than I ever have. She has gone through so much.

My heart goes out to you all. Xx
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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#2
I've felt the same as you about weed before.As a matter of fact not too long ago I cut back on the amount I smoke because that's all I was doing pretty much.

I go through phases where I berate myself for it but it really really does help my PTSD symptoms so I have decided that's all that matters to me,having a good quality of life.And since I use "medical marijuana" I shouldn't let it bother me at all what other people think of me for it.

If my son could stay away from opiates I wouldn't care if he smoked weed 24/7.There's actually some rehabs that use weed to get off opiates,so that accounts for something I think.

I have read that weed isn't physically addictive but it is pyschologically addictive.Have you tried tapering off of it,like deciding to only smoke certain times of the day?"Allowing" yourself to smoke,and at specific times makes it much easier to eventually stop if that's what you want to do.

Is it legal where you live,at least for medical use?
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

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#3
I've felt the same as you about weed before.As a matter of fact not too long ago I cut back on the amount I smoke because that's all I was doing pretty much.

I go through phases where I berate myself for it but it really really does help my PTSD symptoms so I have decided that's all that matters to me,having a good quality of life.And since I use "medical marijuana" I shouldn't let it bother me at all what other people think of me for it.

If my son could stay away from opiates I wouldn't care if he smoked weed 24/7.There's actually some rehabs that use weed to get off opiates,so that accounts for something I think.

I have read that weed isn't physically addictive but it is pyschologically addictive.Have you tried tapering off of it,like deciding to only smoke certain times of the day?"Allowing" yourself to smoke,and at specific times makes it much easier to eventually stop if that's what you want to do.

Is it legal where you live,at least for medical use?
Unfortunately I live in New York, so it is not legal as of yet... I have read that this year there are moves being made to make it legal, fingers crossed.

I believe maybe if I was not so impulsive and did not smoke so much everyday, maybe I would be less ashamed... I will try what you said. :hug:

Another problem I have is CHS (Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome - Wikipedia)

It has happened to me twice, i smoke so much I cannot eat sober in fact I experience so much nausea and gagging. Today it is not as bad, but in 2017 I lost 50 pounds because of this. I was vomiting constantly, and weed was the only thing to take the pain away...

Little did I know, the more I smoked the worse it got. Until I took a month to detox, it was pure hell—but I got better.

I wish this didn’t happen to me... weed does ground me a lot
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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#4
I've never head of Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome before.How on earth do you even keep smoking if it makes you sick?It seems like that in itself would be enough motivation to not do it at all.

Is it just certain strains that make you sick or all of it does? I have to be careful about what I ingest because some strains give me anxiety/panic and others I am allergic to.I have learned that if all there is to smoke is a kind that will give me anxiety or allergies I have to pass on it.It's not worth it to me.I hate the ones I am allergic to,I start sneezing,coughing,runny nose,itchy,burning eyes for days afterwards.

It doesn't sound like it's worth it for you at all.
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

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#5
I've never head of Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome before.How on earth do you even keep smoking if it makes you sick?It seems like that in itself would be enough motivation to not do it at all.

Is it just certain strains that make you sick or all of it does? I have to be careful about what I ingest because some strains give me anxiety/panic and others I am allergic to.I have learned that if all there is to smoke is a kind that will give me anxiety or allergies I have to pass on it.It's not worth it to me.I hate the ones I am allergic to,I start sneezing,coughing,runny nose,itchy,burning eyes for days afterwards.

It doesn't sound like it's worth it for you at all.
It’s not about certain strains, it’s about quantity and frequency—this didn’t start happening until I was smoking everyday, multiple times, and large amounts, for over a year.

It doesn’t make me sick if I smoke a few times, but as I said I am hugely impulsive ... the only reason I am not very very sick right now is because I have been taking breaks, but I have gone through half an oz or more by myself in a couple days and I think my body just can’t handle it, it’s the toxicity...

So unfortunate, because it actually helps me so much. It is when I’m sober that I end up feeling bad, after smoking excessively for very long... makes me sad
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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#7
I am glad I've never had that problem,that would really suck.I have smoked on and off for many years and have had times where I have smoked every day,all day long for years at a time.

I used to smoke as much as you do but feel much better now doing it medicinally. I actually use it as medicine now which is way different than just getting stoned all the time.I do have slips where I get excessive with it but "allowing" myself to smoke,setting some "rules" for myself help me keep it under control.I have only been smoking it in the evenings to help me sleep.I have figured out what time to smoke so that I feel burned out at a specific time and can get to sleep.

*I have to be honest here.I did start smoking earlier today just to get stoned and not medicinally.But,this is just a little slip*
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

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Messages
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New york
#8
I am glad I've never had that problem,that would really suck.I have smoked on and off for many years and have had times where I have smoked every day,all day long for years at a time.

I used to smoke as much as you do but feel much better now doing it medicinally. I actually use it as medicine now which is way different than just getting stoned all the time.I do have slips where I get excessive with it but "allowing" myself to smoke,setting some "rules" for myself help me keep it under control.I have only been smoking it in the evenings to help me sleep.I have figured out what time to smoke so that I feel burned out at a specific time and can get to sleep.

*I have to be honest here.I did start smoking earlier today just to get stoned and not medicinally.But,this is just a little slip*
I’m glad most people don’t seem to experience this, it’s truly hellish. It’s also annoying because I love smoking with my partner, we just take a nice break and chill, do something relaxing and enjoy each other... of course, we can do that sober too. It’s the habit that I’m so used to...

I have tried using it as more of a medicine (even though it is not “medical” marijuana since I buy it on the street)—this method is actually very helpful. I just always ruin it because one slip up becomes another and another til I’m just high all day :sorry:

I believe I just need to find more coping mechanisms, so that I don’t rely entirely on the weed. I don’t know if this is the “addiction” talking, but I don’t want to cut weed out of my life. I just want to manage my impulses better so I can enjoy it without feeling like it is consuming my life and my money...

Thank you for replying, this has helped me feel better about the situation. I can not deny that it helps me. I will try to find more coping mechanisms but if I do smoke, I will try to set limits without guilting myself.

Xx
 
Kirstie1806

Kirstie1806

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Joined
Jan 31, 2019
Messages
19
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Manchester
#9
I'm in si
I’m glad most people don’t seem to experience this, it’s truly hellish. It’s also annoying because I love smoking with my partner, we just take a nice break and chill, do something relaxing and enjoy each other... of course, we can do that sober too. It’s the habit that I’m so used to...

I have tried using it as more of a medicine (even though it is not “medical” marijuana since I buy it on the street)—this method is actually very helpful. I just always ruin it because one slip up becomes another and another til I’m just high all day :sorry:

I believe I just need to find more coping mechanisms, so that I don’t rely entirely on the weed. I don’t know if this is the “addiction” talking, but I don’t want to cut weed out of my life. I just want to manage my impulses better so I can enjoy it without feeling like it is consuming my life and my money...

Thank you for replying, this has helped me feel better about the situation. I can not deny that it helps me. I will try to find more coping mechanisms but if I do smoke, I will try to set limits without guilting myself.

Xx
I'm in such a similar situation! My partner and I smoke weed every night (if he had it his way he'd be smoking throughout the day too.) It's definitely more habit than addiction for myself, although I know if I don't have bud at night I struggle to sleep now 😑 it's horrible cos we enjoy it so much, just chilling out and smoking, our routine just seems impossible to break atm. The main problem is the money, we can't afford to put flooring down in our flat because of it, and we moved in November 2018..
Need to break this cycle but dunno how. We also don't want to stop smoking altogether, just to manage it better!