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The way i treat women

C

Compnarc

New member
Joined
Feb 9, 2015
Messages
1
I am a compensatory narcissist. I have spent my life manipulating others and destroying their lives. I always thought my actions were right and that it was everyone else's fault that they were stupid enough to be exploited. I am now trying to recover. 2 years of meds and a year of psycho-dynamic therapy and i feel like i am making progress. However, i still have 'act-out' impulses and all are aimed at women. Looking back, i have always lacked respect for women, not intentionally but my actions always end up focusing negatively on women. Any advice as to how to overcome this and how to treat a woman with understanding and respect (especially from a woman's perspective) would be appreciated.
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Hi Compnarc and welcome to the forum, I don't really have any advice for you and like many others can offer support but I would like to say well done for seeking out treatment and recognising your issues.
All the best.
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
2,192
Location
East of England
Hi Compnarc. My questions would be - do you feel more respect for men? I mean it's possible to feel disrespectful to everyone and lots of people do! If you do feel more respect for men than for women - is that just because they are the same gender as you and you (presumably) feel you have more in common with them and can understand them better? If that was the case I would suggest you try focusing on the many similarities between men and women rather than the differences - society and the media do have a tendency to focus on and exaggerate the differences between the genders.

Or is it the case that you have had bad experiences with women in your family or in other relationships and this has soured you towards them? That can happen to both genders and the reaction is understandable - it becomes a problem when it impacts on your future life negatively.

Or is it that at this moment in your life you can only see the function of women to you personally as entirely sexual and that is why you disrespect them and manipulate them? Again, this is not uncommon. It's difficult for anyone to give you advice on this matter without knowing your motivation and background - but I imagine you must have discussed these issues with your therapist?
 
M

MClaudeW

Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2015
Messages
8
This may not help, but going along with what jaminacaranda said. When you hate your own values, learn why others value things differently, subtract the difference. There's got to be some reason you think it's someone's fault for being tricked. You obviously knew that they were only tricked by your own cleverness.
The difference between mind control and brain washing is that mind control comes from those you trust, and it's much easier and stronger than brain washing because it becomes their truth by their own accord. But they don't know its happening. It's all you. Not them. I'm like you. I dated women simply to assume a fulfiling role in someone else's life, and then dump them once they met my criteria.

Do you feel like it would be stupid to trust you even if you were trustworthy?
 
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