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The voices say this:

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whisperisall

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
3
Location
United Kingdom
"You know nothing matters, and nothing lasts, so just go back to sleep."

Each day I wake and my immediate thought is going to bed later that evening and being asleep again. I want to be in sleep and dreams, and be outside of unrelenting cruel reality.

I keep a journal and more or less every night I write this:

"I'm thinking about dying in that place: my rest under eternal dusk seems a blessed thought. Even in death my body will not perish as the warmth of my heart will remain, and there will be dreams, there, dreams of true contentment."

I have lucid visions of a quiet place where I want to go and just disappear. I am hardly keeping my job going at the moment, because I have no focus when I am continually dazed and exhausted from voices and visions overwhelming me. I can't go on like this. I can't go on thinking that everyone else is happy, and I have been put here as nothing more than an example of how not to be.

Thank you for reading.
 
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davidr

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
67
Location
Brazil
I know this feeling of others being happy and you being just an example of how not to be. But seriously, if you hear voices and have visions I highly recommend you go to a psychiatrist.
 
1

1232321

New member
Joined
Feb 12, 2020
Messages
2
Location
London
I’m in the same boat. Past couple of years my situation has got so bad, that I quit all jobs I had. I can’t even manage to leave my room, if I go out I panic and feel dizzy. I use to hear a lot of voices before it would start after a ringing sound to my ears. Then it was just loud voices saying all sorts of stuff, it was multiple voices. Recently it’s not as bad as it was. But not being able to leave the house has become a big issue. Working is a great help it keeps you in a routine and busy.
 
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whisperisall

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
3
Location
United Kingdom
The outstanding entry from the journal this week:

I had visions, and heard the voices today. If I were pressed with choosing life or death, I would choose death. Everyone will have an opinion on that, and that is okay because it is ones prerogative. I appreciate the time of day people offer up, even when I am distant and don't quite know what is being said. My mind turns everything into a conflict, and I am exhausted partaking in an unrelenting fight.

Thanks for replying, all.
 
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davidr

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
67
Location
Brazil
You would choose death as a relief to your suffering right? But life is not just suffering. There are some silver linings and when you experience them it makes it all worth it.

If you felt good you would not choose death over life, and believe me that it is always possible to feel good again no matter how bad you feel. Eventually the suffering subsides and there you go, you can be happy again.

Just remember this, and that it is just a phase, it’s not your life. Don’t attempt anything against yourself, because the happy you would never forgive you for ending your life.

Remember those happy moments in these times of darkness, and you’ll counterbalance your foggy thought process that wants you dead.

Best luck to you.
 
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