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The urge is so strong

T

Trapped in my head

Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Rushden
I don't understand why the urge to hurt myself is so strong! I got everything out ready to harm myself and the only thing that stopped me is knowing that someone might see the wounds and think bad of me. I don't see a problem with doing it if its helping me. Im not doing it for attention and if i can keep them hidden i will. I dont know why it helps but it does and now ive started i dont want to stop. But if i do it again people might notice and think im weak. Its like im only not doing it to please others!
 
B

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
2,192
Location
England
I think what is unhelpful about it is you never get to the root of why you are upset. Harming yourself completely stops you concentrating on the trigger and dealing with it. Harm does not actually solve anything. It is a way of coping but it is not healthy. It can scar and get infected. Also, you do not deserve the pain. Just because you feel pain does not mean you deserve the pain.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
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Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
12,577
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hiding behind the sofa
Self harming is very difficult to understand to anyone that doesnt do this. For me its a real ease of stress and tension. But in the long run it doesnt help as the guilt and shame at what ive done kicks in. Talking therapy has helped me to understand why and has stopped it being a regular occurrence . I do try to keep mine covered but it is more difficult in the summer as my arms get tanned and the scars show up as silver
Have you discussed this with anyone professional . I know it can be embarrasing to start discussing but you will feel much better once its out in the open
 
T

Trapped in my head

Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Rushden
Thank you for your advice xxx Ive seen doctors several times over the years and done various bits of counselling but nothing has really helped me. I feel like this is how i will always feel 😣
 
B

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
2,192
Location
England
Counselling may not be enough. A different kind of therapy could be more helpful as it is more in depth. With the struggles you are going through I believe it is vital to have therapy. I am concerned as you mention you often want to end your life. I am sorry doctors have not been able to help you. I think you need to keep pushing them to refer you to see a psychiatrist.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,276
I wonder if focussing on improving your quality of life may help. Identifying on what is dragging you down on a day to day basis and taking action to turn those situations around has got to be progress surely :)
 
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