The urge is really strong

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Confusedandanxious

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I am trying to suppress so many emotions right now. I know it's not healthy, but letting them out is also not going to be healthy.

I think I'd be okay if I could just sit and process things properly, but I cant. Instead I'm listening to constant bickering between two of my children. They cant even look at each other at the minute without making snarky comments to one another. They both want the last word, too which is just an absolute nightmare!

I'm struggling to hold it together and really just want to scream at them. But I obviously cant, so it seems like this is my last resort.
I havent. I dont think I really want to, but the thoughts, the urge and the emotions are all there.
 
S

spacingspaces

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I am trying to suppress so many emotions right now. I know it's not healthy, but letting them out is also not going to be healthy.

I think I'd be okay if I could just sit and process things properly, but I cant. Instead I'm listening to constant bickering between two of my children. They cant even look at each other at the minute without making snarky comments to one another. They both want the last word, too which is just an absolute nightmare!

I'm struggling to hold it together and really just want to scream at them. But I obviously cant, so it seems like this is my last resort.
I havent. I dont think I really want to, but the thoughts, the urge and the emotions are all there.
I know that feeling all too well, especially having suffered with extreme anger issues at one point. I'm only 23 and i don't have kids yet but i do have a little sister who's 5 years old and what stops me from letting my intense emotions out around her is that i think of how she will view me. Her little innocent face would fill up with terror and shock to see the person she looks up to lose themselves like that. I hate to admit that there have been times when she has seen me lose it and i deeply regret them days and i will regret them until the day i die. Just something to think about when you're feeling the need to release them emotions. Instead look for a healthier way to do it like hitting a punching bag, going for a run.. etc.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Is there anyone who can watch the kids while you take a bit of time for yourself and do something to care for yourself, instead of self harm? :hug:
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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I know that feeling all too well, especially having suffered with extreme anger issues at one point. I'm only 23 and i don't have kids yet but i do have a little sister who's 5 years old and what stops me from letting my intense emotions out around her is that i think of how she will view me. Her little innocent face would fill up with terror and shock to see the person she looks up to lose themselves like that. I hate to admit that there have been times when she has seen me lose it and i deeply regret them days and i will regret them until the day i die. Just something to think about when you're feeling the need to release them emotions. Instead look for a healthier way to do it like hitting a punching bag, going for a run.. etc.
That's my issue. I know I cant and I never would release what I'm feeling out around the kids. My usual coping methods just arent doing much which is why my mind is jumping to SH.

I managed to get 5 minutes peace which calmed me down quite a bit. Hopefully I can gather enough energy to pull myself round.
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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Is there anyone who can watch the kids while you take a bit of time for yourself and do something to care for yourself, instead of self harm? :hug:
Thanks midnight. Unfortunately there is no one to watch the kids. I wish there was, even only for 10 minutes.
They seperated themselves from each other before so I've managed to get 5 minutes to quiet my mind. Hopefully I can hold on for today. Tomorrow should be better, I hope!
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Thanks midnight. Unfortunately there is no one to watch the kids. I wish there was, even only for 10 minutes.
They seperated themselves from each other before so I've managed to get 5 minutes to quiet my mind. Hopefully I can hold on for today. Tomorrow should be better, I hope!
I hope today improves for you :hug:
 
S

spacingspaces

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That's my issue. I know I cant and I never would release what I'm feeling out around the kids. My usual coping methods just arent doing much which is why my mind is jumping to SH.

I managed to get 5 minutes peace which calmed me down quite a bit. Hopefully I can gather enough energy to pull myself round.
This forum is a good way to help you release some of them intense emotions. Chatting to people on here can distract you and hopefully calm you down.
 
J

Jules5

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No fears it is normal to be frustrated with kids-it is part of growing up on both sides of the situation.

I have a fifteen year old and I can not fight him. Today he stayed home from school as he said he needed too so I just said okay. Now if his father finds out we will be in trouble.

It is his first year at high school and he is nervous, so am I. I am not a yeller. I just turn off his computer when I get really mad. Like this morning he stayed home from school and I refused to let him sleep. I used the computer to get him up. They at this age need their computer.

So I know how you are feeling. I am glad you have enoughn in you to overlook the little things.

Lots of hugs and love
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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Thanks a lot you guys for listening!

Spacingspaces, it really is helpful.
I managed to calm myself a bit more after getting some quiet time and typing on here.

I then had a chat with the kids and tried to explain the best I can by using a cup overflowing. I've told them when I say "I need you to stop" that they take it seriously, as it means my cup is already spilling over. I used a broken arm to help them see the mental illness in a more realistic way.
I think it worked. They listened, asked questions and hopefully learned. Time will tell I guess.

Jules - it sounds like you did the right thing for both of you today. First days back are the worst, especially when they're new. I'm sure he will appreciate how understanding you have been.
I use the computers to help me too.
 

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