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The true source of my rage problems

Hello513

Hello513

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Jan 24, 2018
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My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
People telling me I cannot do something. In moral issues it doesn't bug me like don't kill, don't steal, but when some one tells me I am not capable it really makes me fly off the handle.

So you can call this a mistake, but I am getting back on that horse and I am not going to listen to the naysayers ever again I hope.

Thanks for your input, but I am not going to listen.

I want to be a scientist. I want to contribute great things to the world, but the small things would be enough. Still I am going into science searching for greatness for myself. I may never attain it, but I could not live with myself if I did not go all in right damn now and went for all of it my dreams right now.

One thing I have realized that I never knew when I was younger is that its about the journey, and mine has been a lot of doubt, pain, and rejection.

Well you know what this is for me not for any one else.

This is for me because I need this I need to go for it, or I would not be able to live with myself

Chalk it up to whatever you want its just who I am.

I will see you on the other side of that rainbow
 
R

RockyMountainsGirl

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May 1, 2021
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190
Location
Alberta, Canada
Nobody likes to be around people who doubt their talents and abilities, and it seems as if you've been around one or more people who have been negative and attempted to fill you with self-doubt. If so, the doubts can be so limiting that they can take away your confidence, and I'm pleased to know that you recognize this.

You say you strive for great things and I applaud you for that. I also applaud you for finding the strength to get back on your horse and move forward.

I don't know what kind of rejection you've faced but I do know that success and support from people who are kind and positive can erase the pain of rejection and fill us with a sense of possibilities. Positive and caring people can instill confidence, and those are the types of people we need to spend time with.

Nobody knows what's in store for you. We can't predict the future. But only with emotional support can we build a good future and a rewarding life.
 
Hello513

Hello513

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
2,996
Location
My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
Nobody likes to be around people who doubt their talents and abilities, and it seems as if you've been around one or more people who have been negative and attempted to fill you with self-doubt. If so, the doubts can be so limiting that they can take away your confidence, and I'm pleased to know that you recognize this.

You say you strive for great things and I applaud you for that. I also applaud you for finding the strength to get back on your horse and move forward.

I don't know what kind of rejection you've faced but I do know that success and support from people who are kind and positive can erase the pain of rejection and fill us with a sense of possibilities. Positive and caring people can instill confidence, and those are the types of people we need to spend time with.

Nobody knows what's in store for you. We can't predict the future. But only with emotional support can we build a good future and a rewarding life.
Amen I have been lucky recently they gave me the courage to give it a try
 
Hello513

Hello513

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
2,996
Location
My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
On another note I think my arrogance player a part in my plight. I was always told I was gifted at a young age so I took it for granted early on.

I guess I am gifted though not the most gifted person on earth more so than most, but I had to have my head burst to truly appreciate my gifts and not be an arrogant person.

I am not above what other people go through, and I always thought I was because you know I was "gifted" and all such jazz.

I guess the silver lining is I am more humble now, and that is a reason for gratitude.
 
R

RockyMountainsGirl

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Messages
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Location
Alberta, Canada
I imagine that gifted people feel a lot of pressure to outperform everyone else.
 
Hello513

Hello513

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
2,996
Location
My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
The shame really comes from the fact I haven
I imagine that gifted people feel a lot of pressure to outperform everyone else.
Oh ya, and it really got to me and not in a good way, and I fell flat on my face, but I aint dead yet

Even the perception you are gifted whether justified or not heaps CRAP TONS OF PRESSURE ONTO YOURSELF and for me I got arrogant and wanted to live up to it, and broke under the strain of it all

My mother used to chant ivy leauge when I was studying, and my father would flip a crap when I got a B

If I got a C it was armagedon
 
Hello513

Hello513

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Joined
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Messages
2,996
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My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
Sorry to talk about myself but like ya I sort of just gave up under the strain and pressure, and rebelled and partied.

How gifted I might be I don't know. There are a lot of people smarter than me no doubt, but I was afraid to take an iq test because I was afraid I would not be smart enough under this kind of pressure

It created this never smart enough never good enough complex in me
 
Hello513

Hello513

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
2,996
Location
My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
Now you mix in mental illness with that having a mental disability after being told your whole life you were gifted its like wow this was garbage, but there is a silver lining it made me more self aware less arogant more humble, and its liberating

Because now no one has expectations any more so I can just be me, and if I surprise people great if I don't who cares

sorry for ranting about myself

Thanks for listening if i can ever return the favor feel free to message me
 
R

RockyMountainsGirl

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Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
190
Location
Alberta, Canada
I'm so sorry you're going through that pressure and stress. If your parents expect you to get top grades (A, A-, A+), then no wonder you feel like giving up under the strain and pressure. Perhaps partying is a way to escape from that? It will allow you to escape but only for a while. It's also not good for your brain.

It's as if your parents are saying "You can't make mistakes. You have to be perfect." The grades you earn depend a lot on the teacher's perspective of your work. They're not all up to you. So there will be times when you do your best but still can't get an A.

Parents expectations can make us want to give up trying to succeed and rebel. Rebelling can be a way to keep a safe distance from your parents, or to communicate to them that their unrealistic expectations are hurting you. It could be that if your parents take the pressure off and allow you to just be normal, then you'll feel better about yourself and be more apt to succeed.

It can seem like a big step to reach out to an adult besides your parents about what you're going through with your parents. If you can find a friend or adult to talk to about what you're going through, then you might start feeling it's okay to be normal rather than perfect.

When I was in grade 10 I reached out to a guidance counsellor at my school. I also talked to my family doctor about what I was going through at home and she sent me to a therapist who spoke with dozens of teens like me. My situation was really bad and I ended up living away from home in grades 10, 11, and 12, but that's only because my situation was really bad.

There's also a website that helps teens cope with horrid parents, who exist in all types of families: big, small, rich, clever, poor or struggling. It says that talking about nasty parents can seem wrong. I'm here to tell you it's okay to talk about your parents and to get the help and support your need to feel happy.

Here's the website link:
https://www.myhorridparent.com/
 
Hello513

Hello513

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
2,996
Location
My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
I'm so sorry you're going through that pressure and stress. If your parents expect you to get top grades (A, A-, A+), then no wonder you feel like giving up under the strain and pressure. Perhaps partying is a way to escape from that? It will allow you to escape but only for a while. It's also not good for your brain.

It's as if your parents are saying "You can't make mistakes. You have to be perfect." The grades you earn depend a lot on the teacher's perspective of your work. They're not all up to you. So there will be times when you do your best but still can't get an A.

Parents expectations can make us want to give up trying to succeed and rebel. Rebelling can be a way to keep a safe distance from your parents, or to communicate to them that their unrealistic expectations are hurting you. It could be that if your parents take the pressure off and allow you to just be normal, then you'll feel better about yourself and be more apt to succeed.

It can seem like a big step to reach out to an adult besides your parents about what you're going through with your parents. If you can find a friend or adult to talk to about what you're going through, then you might start feeling it's okay to be normal rather than perfect.

When I was in grade 10 I reached out to a guidance counsellor at my school. I also talked to my family doctor about what I was going through at home and she sent me to a therapist who spoke with dozens of teens like me. My situation was really bad and I ended up living away from home in grades 10, 11, and 12, but that's only because my situation was really bad.

There's also a website that helps teens cope with horrid parents, who exist in all types of families: big, small, rich, clever, poor or struggling. It says that talking about nasty parents can seem wrong. I'm here to tell you it's okay to talk about your parents and to get the help and support your need to feel happy.

Here's the website link:
https://www.myhorridparent.com/
I am 33 I am in a php for bipolar schizoaffective. I am looking for the triggers that caused me to become this way so I can change it, but the thought is appreciated.

You actually made me laugh. I am working on it thanks for the input

And if your the type that sweats such mistakes don't your input was appreciated.

My parents were not horrid they just did not know how it would affect me. They have been really supportive since I fell ill.

Wish it did not take falling ill several times for them to back off with the pressure, but it is what it is.

I am trying to release all of this negativity so I can change myself that's all. I am trying new things before its to late, but we will see what becomes of it.
 
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