• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

The Prevelance and Danger of Mis-Diagnosis

E

ettiene.dyer

Guest
Beginning in 1997 I had a series of strong non-ordinary experiences for which I had no context for. Some of these experiences involved non-ordinary states of consciousness. Which I would now describe as paranormal or psychic in manifestation. These experiences would peek in 2002 when I turned 33.

I was raised by atheist parents, who were not militant about their atheism and gave my siblings and I free reign in what we chose; they also were deeply ignorant about spirituality (experientially or philosophically). I would say they were essentially willfully ignorant and when I started developing psychically in my pre-teen to adolescent years, I was sort of adrift with no real context for what I was going through. Instead of investigating what was going on with me, my parents listened to public and social authorities and assumed I was developing some form of mental illness. For a time they handed the reigns over my well being to the system. Thankfully, they eventually pulled me out of the systems for they saw where it was heading and put me into private school and gave me some direction and encouraged me to investigate religion to a certain extent. This was partially beneficial, but at the same time the particular brand of religious influence which came to dominate my teen and early twenties, did much more harm than good.

I think of my situation as closely aligned to that of a African American or Homosexual Person in the 50's, only in a spiritual context rather than a race, gender or sexual context and in the 1970s to 90s. I lived the majority of my life in a very conservative part of southern California, the county of origin of Richard Nixon and his Western White House, in my my home town of San Clemente.

If one was to be spiritual in that part of the world and a white anglo-saxon, then the tidal forces of community and culture drove one towards particular sects and denominations of Christianity. This was the way things were and the only allowable context for psychic emergence. If one did not conform and tried to work out their own brand of spirituality than they not only had militant atheists up their ass but also militant Christians as well.

If you were really different than your peers, the same tidal forces of community and culture would drive you to psychiatry and ultimately to their version of drug culture. If one avoided this tidal force you either were completely isolated and further de-compensated (which I was), or became a social pariah by involving oneself in the dark underground of illicit drug culture (which I flirted with but did not invest in).

I wanted to fit in, I really tried. I tried so hard I actually became depressed, suicidal and developed a serious drinking problem. Nothing seemed to fit and especially not me in these systems which tended to dominate and exert control over me, even over my thoughts. Into my mid to late twenties I began to de-compensate.

By the time I went into talk therapy in 1999 I was a mess, in complete psychic crisis, half way programmed with with compelling religious delusion but at the same time, experiencing very real and strong psychic impressions of impending societal crises and on coming darkness, war, and political upheaval. I communicated all of this to my psychologist at the time.

Unfortunately, I could not have picked a worst therapist to engage. He was a cold and calculating philosophical materialist and atheist that called me a name that that would alter the course of my life for the next 11 years, he called me a SCHIZOPHRENIC and condemned me in that moment to a decade of drug dependency and torment where I would prevented from developing and finally resolving the crisis. The worst thing I did at that moment of diagnosis was I BELIEVED him. The drugs essentially were psychic pain killers that allowed the real problem from being resolved and instead let it fester under chemical restraints.

It has taken me nearly 20 years to figure out where things went wrong and to recapture and re-integrate parts of my soul. I have a good idea of who and what I am. I am still dealing with the trauma of this past. I am still the proverbial closet for the most part, afraid to speak about what I know to be fact, afraid to express my soul and impressions of the world, outside of Internet. This is partly do to the fact that because of all this corralling and forcing into cookie cut social category, religion, and lifestyle -- a certain form of darkness has emerged in me. My shadow rebels. When you kick a dog for long enough it will grow to fear you, but at some point it is going to take your life if it can unless it can find way out of predicament.

I see this same result in the world right now. What I intuited long ago in the 90s. The rise of a darkness that is feed by polluting and dominating violent forces of oppression and greed. The same shadow that was feed in me, is in the world and effect and affects ALL of our lives, not just mine. Like a two headed monster, ISIL is just one outward expression of this shadow and forces in the west are the other. There is a reason there is a conflict such as the one between the West and Middle East, it is essentially the same conflict is in the hearts of all people. There are ways to resolve these conflicts. If they are not resolved and compromise and actual mutual benefit is found and strong reform in both societies, within ourselves and outwardly, the dualistic conflict will grow more and more entrenched and dichotomous, threatening not only our personal lives, but the existence of our species on this planet.

I am in the process of transcending the past and incorporating the bits and pieces of myself as a survivor of not only psychiatry, but also the tidal forces of religion and culture, which have dominated me for most of my life and prevented me liberation and transcendence as expression to what I am at my core.

I encourage anyone that has read this far, who has been diagnosed, who remembers psychic and spiritual experience or still has them, to not take to heart the diagnosis, but to encounter your experience as it first was emerging and to identify in your own life how you might actually be in the same predicament I have been.

I reach out to you as a "Fellow Traveler" that has had many of the same experiences you have had, and retains hope and wants to share the evidence of it.

Message me if you want to learn more about what can be done about this situation our community finds itself in, we are not alone, many have transcended the conflict. We are each different and unique, there is no "one way" or "path" or "religion", but it is in our unique expressions and experience that we are United and can find Common Ground and resolution to our common crises.
 
cpuusage

cpuusage

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
37,648
Location
Planet Lunatic Asylum
Message me if you want to learn more about what can be done about this situation our community finds itself in, we are not alone, many have transcended the conflict. We are each different and unique, there is no "one way" or "path" or "religion", but it is in our unique expressions and experience that we are United and can find Common Ground and resolution to our common crises.
Thank you for sharing. i have internalised the diagnosis & medication, rightly or wrongly, & i don't see a way out of all that at this stage.

i have been stuck in what i see as an endless double bind/catch 22/kind of limbo for the past 12 years.

i do just accept the diagnosis/medication & plod on as best that i can within what is & always has been difficult overall circumstances.

There were difficulties in childhood, 17 years in addiction/alcoholism - 7 major episodes/breakdowns totaling 8 years in severe/florid psychosis with 4 forced hospitalisations. Very little access to any fully appropriate psychological help/social support. It's taken a toll.

i think that i'll now be on the medication for life with certain difficulties/symptoms, & that it now seems very hard to see how i can resolve things any more than i have done in regards to the underlying condition/difficulties.
 
E

ettiene.dyer

Guest
It is a shame on western civilization that people that are sensitive, are put through so much bullshit and forced into circumstances that defy all logic and compassion. This society will not last. Its well on its way. Makes me both sad and angry, drives me to drink sometimes. I am just unwilling to give up the cause, not only for myself, but for those like me.

Bono wrote a song called 'miracle drug'. It was really about HIV and Medications that alleviate it and their availability. There is a line in it that goes something like this, "whether person is sick or healthy, should not depend on where they live". I think for the most part our people are caught in a vicious circle of drug dependency and neglect which feeds it, in states and systems that only seek to profit from our suffering and only as long as it some how benefits those power centres.

The hope of civilization was that it would do the most good for the most people. I fear it has become so complex, with conflicting interests that it is UN-raveling before our eyes. As realist, I recognize that if there are not serious changes and re-emergence of compassion which should be at the heart of any civil construct, our species is doomed to an endless cycle of suffering, boom and bust between the to extremes of wanton pleasure seeking and utter despair unto our extinction. I hope we can evolve and adapt our systems. It is not going to happen if we continue to act like herd animals, constantly making ourselves available as preyed upon victims of predatory and power seeking false shepards.
 
cpuusage

cpuusage

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
37,648
Location
Planet Lunatic Asylum
The hope of civilization was that it would do the most good for the most people. I fear it has become so complex, with conflicting interests that it is UN-raveling before our eyes. As realist, I recognize that if there are not serious changes and re-emergence of compassion which should be at the heart of any civil construct, our species is doomed to an endless cycle of suffering, boom and bust between the to extremes of wanton pleasure seeking and utter despair unto our extinction. I hope we can evolve and adapt our systems. It is not going to happen if we continue to act like herd animals, constantly making ourselves available as preyed upon victims of predatory and power seeking false shepards.
i may be totally wrong, But have long largely concluded that we're headed to eventual global systemic & catastrophic eco system & civilisation collapse, sooner or later.

i think that a part of me gave up some 12 years ago. i have always done & do my best, to fight the system & heal/transform things. What else could i have done/can i do?

How is anyone meant to 'change the World'/society - which is the collective responsibility of humanity as a whole. i didn't create the system, i don't perpetuate it all.
 
P

pansdisease

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 25, 2016
Messages
670
I was misdiagnosed myself.

I was being tortured by dark beings and they called me crazy.

Come to find being tortured and murdered is fairly normal for earth so i guess there is nothing to be surprised about.
 
B

Big - Guns

Active member
Joined
Jul 24, 2016
Messages
27
I have no problems with the bible. It talks about battling spirits that we do not see spirits that rule over this world it's all about power. I beleive these evil spirits exist inside of us and cause issues. The doctors don't know what they are talking about when it comes to spiritual matters but I'm on an act so I have no say about taking these medications with all of their side effects and the big money they make people.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
F Schizophrenia Forum 8
Top