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The outskirts



The outskirts
A no woman's land I exist in but don't belong to
Disposed of here in nameless void
Too many years ago
Flat eyes peer, fear grips and I behave
Your will isn't mine, but I don't know what is
So continue, oh you will, I know, it is only me with polite submission
That seeks someone, anyone, to say NO!
Silence stinks, smell it still
Stony faced to hide the torn tormented fleshy feeling beneath
I bide my time, failing, falling in wordless horror
At the constant resurfacing of past that won't lie still
Therapy I fail
Left in tormented smiles that belie the horror that greets my return home
Body growing through endless binges that change the day's shape too
Out of control
I am shrinking in disgust at what I am, was and can never be, yet grow and scream in mouthfuls
This hurts
There is no one
I. Am. Not. Here.


Apr 12, 2016
Pain creates writers
Hurt creates art
It enters your soul
And ignites your heart