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The Nice Finish Last? Really?

  • Thread starter iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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Whenever I'm too nice, assertive, or down right aggressive I still finish last. I can't win either way. Why is that? What are your experiences? Are you nice, or assertive, or aggressive? Which place does that put you? Please lemme know? This may help me learn how to socialize better. I just hope this thread makes sence. Thanks in advance. :grouphug:
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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I hope I put this in the right section? :unsure:
 
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Zoe1

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I finish last with most things

but I dont think that is always the case
I read alot of song lyrics
and its all about failure and loss and bullying

like this one !

 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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When you are young life can be so difficult. But believe me, you learn a hell of a lot more from when things don't go right. When you get older, you get payback, as all that accumulated experience becomes wisdom. :)

Have patience sweetie.
 
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Helena1

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What do you mean you finish last?
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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I have always tried my best to be nice. I have social anxiety and am very shy. When I was younger I felt like I was missing out on opportunities at work and school because of my shyness. I attracted bullies at every place I went. I usually had a bully as a "friend" but I thought it was better to have bully friends then no friends. I did not want to be alone and miss out on going out with people and being up on the latest whatever. I even married two terrible bullies. I didn't want to "finish last".

Now I am older and am more selective of who I allow in my life. I have a wonderful fiancee now and some good quality friends. Occasionally when someone is treating me poorly I will call them out and I feel better about myself for it. I still try to be nice because the world needs more niceness.

When I think of "finishing last" I think about how we compare ourselves to others and feel we should have what they have when they have it. I heard this advice from a wise person, "run your own race." I think that's a nice way to view it.
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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What do you mean you finish last?
Not being treated with respect, not getting needs met, being walked on and abused. I just used the common term.
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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One of my friends told me that I will continue to get my ass kicked as long as I am peaceful. I think he may be right. :panic::cry:
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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But I got my butt kicked when I was aggressive though too. :shrug:
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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I try my best to be nice, I'm treated with respect by my family and friends and no one walks all over me or abuses me although the voice I hear would certainly do so if I let him.

As far as needs go I have the basics, food, shelter and friendship but I lack companionship, something I would like but there are too many obstacles getting in the way of that.

A rhetorical question so don't think I'm asking anyone here but who'd want to be with an unemployable, mentally ill, non-driver like myself? Caring, nice and a little on the shy side but still the odds are against me, my love life dried up when I did (meaning when I stopped drinking alcohol) around 20 years ago.

Sob story over, but it seems you have to be more than nice to get ahead in this world.
 
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Zoe1

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NWiddi I think maybe that kind of blocks the possibility
of getting close to people or having acquaintances
if you think that way about yourself

im an unemployable mentally ill non driver too
and there are people who like me for me
I dont have a partner at the moment
but there are some good people in my life

in order to get more of it I need to be more myself
not thinking about what other people want me to be

just my 2 pence worth !

:grouphug:
 
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