- Feb 5, 2015
- Birmingham, UK
Since my last post I've found out I'm living with a gaslighter (Someone who tells the authorities that I am delusional when I try to tell them about repeated incidents of physical and emotional abuse and then turns it back on me as I am quite heavy set and can be mistaken for being intimidating). This has been a stressful and difficult discovery for me and I have found my self-harm, suicidal and drug taking impulses to be much more frequent and difficult to deal with. When I feel like this I get a voice in my head... It doesn't control me but, I call it the 'nagging voice' because it keeps saying things like 'you know you want to' etc... and the nagging gets louder and louder until it drowns out everything and the only ways I have found of dealing with this are to give in to the impulse, which often lands me in A&E or cover my ears with my hands, retreat into a corner and sit there having a panic attack for about two hours until it goes away again. I was wondering whether anybody else has experienced the nagging voice and if so, are there any safe ways of dealing with it, besides the two methods I have already mentioned? I'm going to CMHT again in about a months time but until then I need a better way to control it, as I am worried that if I break down then I may end up doing something very stupid...