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The irrational fear

jajingna

jajingna

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It occurred to me recently the absurdity of my thinking. The anxiety is tied to a concern with what others might possibly but most likely are not thinking about me. And knowing this irrationality is there, that it is an absurd way to proceed each day, still doesn't remove it or lessen it. I guess the anxiety is stronger than a brittle thought about it. And it's such an old habit, an automatic response.

Still absurd though.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

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I have always struggled with a constant narration in my head of what someone is thinking about me. I told my cpn when I had one. She said, "they won't be thinking that about you, they won't be thinking about you at all. They probably don't even know you exist most of the time since you won't go out of the house and it isn't real on the internet" It didn't really help even though she was probably right.

I do think it is an automatic response. I have had this since a child. It wasn't just people, but from being young the house, well its walls has thoughts about me and the inhabitants who are no longer with us. I have rituals to try and keep everyone happy. It is not schizophrenia or anything like that, I have always had these connections and I don't think I would have a mental illness at such a young age. At three years old, I can't remember where I went, but in the dark hours I remember being pushed on the tyre swing in our back garden by three people, well I don't know what they were as they weren't earthly. From then I never doubted that experience. But now I do wonder what happened and if it has anything to do with my mental state now.

Sorry @jajingna I have digressed, I do not discuss this stuff often. It is good you can see it is unlikely, yet I understand that even feeling you know this rationally does not stop it :)
 
jajingna

jajingna

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constant narration
I liked your post. And this is a fine phrase. Well, I never had therapy or anything like that to deal with this stuff that has had a fine run now for decades. It's a vain wonder to say what if this baggage were not there all the years? How different things might have been. On the hopeful side, let's not say we're defeated yet while we're still on this side of the ground.
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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its all projection. it takes time for the conscious mind to become more aware of the subconscious, which is where the core beliefs and ego reside. if the mind cannot see them it cannot realize they are the source of its pain. it therefore blames other things it can see (externals) as the source and attacks those things in self defense. introverts are more bottled up so they tend to be passive-aggressive and hate more, whereas extroverts will get louder and more physical towards their believed enemies.

but telling the mind to take more responsibility doesnt work. it cant do it. it needs new superior information which then makes it realize the old information is false. therefore the old ego and beliefs based on that old information are false. when these change the mind gains the ability to see the existence of that ego and beliefs. which then allows it to stop blaming external things like other people. the projections collapse. responsibility comes in automatically.

you can help others by sharing the new information you got which led to that chain reaction.
 

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