The "Good Shake" (with footnote)

[telemetry9]

The old classic "Give yourself a good shake."

The "good shake" is still considered valid by many of today's mental health care practitioners. It doesn't actually work on the person suffering from depression and it may even be enough to push them into further despair and feelings of worthlessness but it really makes the advisor feel a heck of a lot better.

The "good shake" has transmogrified into "get yourself down to the gym" and is now considered practically a cure for depression by modern advocates of the "good shake" philosophy.

Intolerance is still held as a virtue towards the mentally ill by many people (even those who actually work in this field); and the "Good shake" is a wonderful way of bypassing understanding and empathy amongst the intolerant and impatient. They hold true to the "good shake" mantra and find it jettisons many of a depressed person out of their sphere altogether. The prolonged absence of the depressed individual after said advice being considered a "Success" on behalf of the practitioners of the "good shake" philosophy - of which there are no short a number.

So to all you "good shakers" out there - keep up the good work as you gain so much from your wonderful sharing and giving means of helping those who are vulnerable. Perhaps one day those who suffer from depression will no longer require the "good shake" mantra and simply gain the strength to "get on with things" like everyone else seems to do.

Until then we are grateful for all those who chose the "good shake" way of dealing with people who might have inadvertently chosen depression as their illness of choice.

Bless each and everyone of you.
robert.


------(I just want to say that there are times I have been intolerant towards those I didn't understand (bubblin' under). Thankfully I (with the help of others or sometimes on my own) have managed to "catch myself on" following these moments of intolerance or personal unhappiness when I projected my own pain and frustration onto those who didn't deserve it. I know this is a part of being human but I still want to say sorry for my own imperfection and hope we will all grow stronger towards realizing our own faults and prejudices before we inflict our sense of personal failure onto those who deserved better. All of us with mental illness will know the pain of experience of being judged by those who failed to understand and fell back on some classics of intolerance. I want to realize my own anger at those times I don't understand and that my anger comes from my own lack of understanding and frustration with myself - it never belonged to or was the fault of those I wrongly Judged.

for all of us - and the times we fail to understand.
I understand the above applies to myself at times.
robert.

 

[telemetry9]

The above is sort of a way of trying to come to terms with some very painful experiences of being judged by Doctors' and others as a consequence of their failure to understand the extent of my illness and its effects on me. My own failure to convey that properly and the anger that has grown inside of me towards them and my struggle to find a way to forgive them instead of hating and resenting them.

The answer is in there somewhere to moving forward and viewing them differently. It will take time.

robert.

 

[iffybob]

My way

To those who seam to think a 'good shake' or a 'good kick in the backside' a theropy of choice, I advocate a 'good slap' with my 'very good bat'.

Lets face it these people are in them selves and to others B***ards, they are the people who make socioty what it is, and are the same people who seam to go off crying when the receive the same treatment.

I have on occasion had the opertunity to give these people a very good poking with my very sharp tounge, and have found they have nothing in reply when they are confronted, they are cowards picking on those they assume weak.

... F**k em ......... boB.........

 

[telemetry9]

That's true bob.

I'm trying to find a way to forgive and to understand and hopefully move forwards. I need to get rid of the enormous anger and bitterness I feel towards those who have judged me.

I've also learned that the judgment and intolerance they have showed me has led me to be angry and at times judgmental. It's contagious and infectious. Someone has to say stop....and look at it for what it is. Otherwise it just goes on and on.

I don't want to hate or resent them because I will have to see them again in the future. What do i do? What do we do?

best wishes
robert.

 

[KrisD]

Sorry to dissent

Sorry to dissent but sometimes a "good shake" is just what is needed! Not to mention a spell checker, the standard of writing on a lot of the posts leaves a lot to be desired.

 

[DELATEXT]

there are many valid points in what you say, "people can't hear your sign language!!" People suffering from ME get this all the time.

 

[telemetry9]

Kris,

Unless you have experienced serious illness as described in this post then I will say to you what someone said to me; during a period of my on intolerance and lack of understanding towards self harm.

You don't have the right to tell other people how to live their lives and unless you have experienced major and serious depression and its physical effects on your mind and body - then you have no true understanding of what you're talking about.

As to your views on spelling and English - judging people on the basis of their grammar is an indicator that you are here for the wrong reasons and are probably well enough to give a damn about that. Definitely not an indicator of someone struggling with a serious illness and its daily effects upon your life. Congratulations on caring about something irrelevant to most people who come here looking for help and relief from real pain and suffering.

regards
robert.

 

[KrisD]

Robert,

You are quite right, I do not have the right to tell others how to live their lives; but that was not what I was saying. People with mental health problems are a part of society, often stigmatised and excluded. Part of the problem is that many choose to live in a bubble and define themselves by their illness, many are self obsessed, selfish and manipulative; that is the nature of the beast.

To give an example – I have a friend whose son has a diagnosis of Schizophrenia. If he does not take his medication he becomes prone to episodes of extreme violence. Despite this he refuses to take his medication as prescribed and has caused severe injury to several people in the process.

I find your response to my comment on the atrocious standard of English, on many posts, quite judgemental. You are, of course, entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. To say that I am here for the “wrong reasons” is both preposterous and judgemental. You say that I have no understanding of what I am talking about. How could you possibly know as you don’t know me.

Regards
Kris

 

[Apotheosis]

Part of the problem is that many choose to live in a bubble and define themselves by their illness, many are self obsessed, selfish and manipulative; that is the nature of the beast.

Whether people are ill or not - that's the nature of the human condition. Irregardless of 'illness' people can be like that. In fact 'mental illness' does not preclude such personality traits - & in my experience people with severe MH difficulties have been far more sensitive, thoughtful, kinder, well-meaning, non-violent, understanding & compassionate than the majority of so called normals out there.

It does appear to be that your attitude is stigmatising & discriminatory. & what are you basing these assumptions & judgements on? One person!?

 

[Apotheosis]

Part of the problem is that many choose to live in a bubble and define themselves by their illness, many are self obsessed, selfish and manipulative; that is the nature of the beast

How much is societal attitudes (stigma & discrimination); & social isolation & social exclusion to blame here? - society itself - & in fact nothing to do with the individual? Also a severe lack of any proper help or support for those suffering with severe MH conditions? Quite a lot I would have thought.

It's no wonder that many with 'severe mental illness' react & behave in the ways that they do; nor find themselves in certain circumstances - to then blame that individual for such a situation is missing the point somewhat - & again stigmatising & discriminating that individual; playing into the source of a lot of that stigma - i.e. it's the fault of the individual that they have such difficulties.

 

[iffybob]

Think

I dont think in words, I understand that others compose there ideas and thoughts in word, phrases sentances.

I dont, I grew up alone, I think and compose my thoughts in imagry, and then have to describe or transcribe that imary into English, like a lot of translations, it is not perfect, an intuitive word in one language oftern has no word in another and requires definition.

Also some on here are non-English speeking, they are not using there mother toung.

and some on here are extreamly upset, typeing through tears, neeeding help, I am prepared to give people on here a great deal of room to express themselves, "The Best They Can" at the time.

Commenting on a standard of English is at best petty, at worse arogent.

Lanuage is to be used to effectivly communicate, if it has done that, its job is done, it is not a divine entity to be revered.

an my spelling sucks....... and I dont care ......... boB .......

 

[KrisD]

RE: iffybob And I don’t care……

Commenting on the standard of English is neither petty or arrogant. If you have a view worth expressing then surely it is worth trying to present it in the possible way. If you don’t care then why should others care to read it? If English is not your mother tongue then that is an exception.

By the way, English is not my first language. I try to use the best spelling and grammar as a courtesy to others. If you are aware that you’re spelling sucks and you don’t care that is both discourteous and arrogant.

 

[iffybob]

I have tried to learn to spell correctly, for some reason I cant do it, when I was of the age most learn to spell, I was drugged up on meds, the teachers used punishments verbal ridicule in front of others to purposfuly embares me, kept me in at play times, and otherwise in those days they hit kids for any thing and thought nothing of it.

I had a traumatic childhood, spelling was not a great priority, eating was, not getting beaten was, being warm was.....

I find you attiude like many others, vailed, the apperence is more important than the substance. it is a wrong view, somthing appering to be what it is not is desception.

If you have been to the places I have you would understand the damage that does.

There is a saying in England. "Speak properly", it is a sham.

One should speek "correctley" t make sure that one is "properly" "understud".

Even if you use the correct grammer , the correct spellings, if the point is not convayed then you have failed in your task, no matter how right you are.

BTW I am English, it is my native language, formal English is rarely used, and English has many forms, Legal, scientific, govenmental, all used interchangably , what most think of as English, is a snotty High Society Etiquet, none of us use it, and those that do with such vigar are considered "up themselves", and shallow.

English is a language that is easy to learn, understand it is a lot harder, it has a lot of contextual implied interpritations, and history.

The lesson may be here, dont promote somthing you dont understand .....?

 

[DELATEXT]

the mean reds ride the minds storm and a shattered child cowers in the black shadows, lost in the chasm of grief, alone and utterly lost, there are no comforting hands, just the rictus of a leering clown

 

[iffybob]

Fair use

the mean reds ride the minds storm and a shattered child cowers in the black shadows, lost in the chasm of grief, alone and utterly lost, there are no comforting hands, just the rictus of a leering clown

Who dont notice boB with a bat and the will to use it ......... ........