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The good days and bad days

C

charlieblack5

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Apr 14, 2021
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186
Location
Uk
Why do they always seem to come next to each other, and change so suddenly?

I had a good day yesterday. For the first time in a while felt like my old self. My scar on my cheek from mole removal (which is where a lot of this anxiety and depression is stemming from) looked alright, and I even went for a walk without trying to cover it up. Spoke to some friends over the phone I hadn’t spoken to for a while. Great.

Then it got to about 7pm and I felt EXHAUSTED. I was out of it, slept through to about 11pm, had an argument with partner (“why have you put the heating on!”) etc. Pottered about for a bit. Went back to sleep.

Today I’m back to square one. I suffer with ingrown hairs near the scar sight, and my scar was so red. Had to pluck the ingrown out (grim, sorry) and today I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Had a cry. Feel worthless. Etc etc.

How can two days be so vastly different? How am I expected to cope when it’s like this??
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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6,101
Location
Canada
I dunno, but with depression and anxiety there are ups and downs during any one day for me. I might be tired in the morning from waking up early, but good in the afternoon when I take a walk, the tired again by evening... I'm saying "tired" but you know what I mean, feeling down or whatever too with low energy.
 
C

charlieblack5

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Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
186
Location
Uk
Definitely. I’m starting to see it’s part and parcel over having anxiety/depression. The ever changing moods. It’s so exhausting.
 
C

cathanifrind174

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Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
100
Location
Paris, France
I can totally understand. Yesterday was excellent. I visited the apartment we're going to move in with my wife after our wedding next month. I felt like life had finally made sense.

Today, my bank account was blocked because I had to change the passcode twice and I missed it the second time. I now have to wait till get its deblocked. I am back to sqaure one. I have no energy to call the bank and let them know. All of sudden, I've gone from 'happiest day of my life' to 'why am I still alive?' in less than 24 hours.

It's so frustrating and so painful....

The one tip I can give is that note down the progress you made on the good days and ignore the bad days. That way you focus on the good and the positive and it'll replace despair with hope. Because otherwise it can quickly get to, 'I just want to end the pain.' The good moments like the walk and talking to your friends is as real, if not more real, as your sadness during a depression.

Be kind to yourself. My doc told me that I shouldn't aim to be 100% everyday. It's irrealistic and it only makes the depression worse.
 
C

charlieblack5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
186
Location
Uk
I can totally understand. Yesterday was excellent. I visited the apartment we're going to move in with my wife after our wedding next month. I felt like life had finally made sense.

Today, my bank account was blocked because I had to change the passcode twice and I missed it the second time. I now have to wait till get its deblocked. I am back to sqaure one. I have no energy to call the bank and let them know. All of sudden, I've gone from 'happiest day of my life' to 'why am I still alive?' in less than 24 hours.

It's so frustrating and so painful....

The one tip I can give is that note down the progress you made on the good days and ignore the bad days. That way you focus on the good and the positive and it'll replace despair with hope. Because otherwise it can quickly get to, 'I just want to end the pain.' The good moments like the walk and talking to your friends is as real, if not more real, as your sadness during a depression.

Be kind to yourself. My doc told me that I shouldn't aim to be 100% everyday. It's irrealistic and it only makes the depression worse.
What a lovely post, thank you. And congratulations on the move and wedding! Can I ask a question? Are you excited about these two prospects? These are two big life events that under regular circumstances people would be ecstatic about, but I’m just wondering, is that the case? Genuinely curious.

I have a great life coach who I’m speaking to at the moment. She’s advised similar - note down the good, the triumphs, no matter how small. I’ve bought a journal to do just that. I only make bullet points, and not every day, but looking back over some now I can raise a smile at some of these moments. It’s important to not lose sight of that, no matter how bad/dark/hopeless things may feel. It’s proof that there are lighter days.

Shit, I’m welling up. Gosh.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,542
Location
US
Why do they always seem to come next to each other, and change so suddenly?

I had a good day yesterday. For the first time in a while felt like my old self. My scar on my cheek from mole removal (which is where a lot of this anxiety and depression is stemming from) looked alright, and I even went for a walk without trying to cover it up. Spoke to some friends over the phone I hadn’t spoken to for a while. Great.

Then it got to about 7pm and I felt EXHAUSTED. I was out of it, slept through to about 11pm, had an argument with partner (“why have you put the heating on!”) etc. Pottered about for a bit. Went back to sleep.

Today I’m back to square one. I suffer with ingrown hairs near the scar sight, and my scar was so red. Had to pluck the ingrown out (grim, sorry) and today I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Had a cry. Feel worthless. Etc etc.

How can two days be so vastly different? How am I expected to cope when it’s like this??
Hey, charlieblack5, I know, the bad days/hours/minutes (depending on how rapidly you cycle) do always return. But so do the good times. And so do the in-between times. I'll message you quickly something else if that's OK, better advice re the skin...
 
C

cathanifrind174

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
100
Location
Paris, France
What a lovely post, thank you. And congratulations on the move and wedding! Can I ask a question? Are you excited about these two prospects? These are two big life events that under regular circumstances people would be ecstatic about, but I’m just wondering, is that the case? Genuinely curious.

I have a great life coach who I’m speaking to at the moment. She’s advised similar - note down the good, the triumphs, no matter how small. I’ve bought a journal to do just that. I only make bullet points, and not every day, but looking back over some now I can raise a smile at some of these moments. It’s important to not lose sight of that, no matter how bad/dark/hopeless things may feel. It’s proof that there are lighter days.

Shit, I’m welling up. Gosh.
On the good days, I am definitely excited about the prospect of getting married and starting a new life. On the bad days though, the prospect of marriage actually makes my depression worse as I feel guilty of having depression right before the wedding. I also realize that the wedding day will be one of the biggest days of my life and someone who suffers from anxiety, I'm worried about it just as much as I am excited about it.

But you see, right now I'm really happy and excited about it.
Yesterday not so much.
Also my doctor has put me on leave till my wedding, which means I can really focus on the upcoming wedding.

@charlieblack5 I hope you're feeling better. Journaling is definitely a good idea. Don't force yourself to note something down everyday. Yesterday was just so bad for me. But today, it's only morning but I'm already super excited for the day and so happy with my life. So I'll try and note it down so that I remember tomorrow or whenever the next dip is, that I started off Thursday the 20th on a great note.
 
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