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The Fear of Having Your Own Opinion

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LokiPokey75

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It is really difficult to go against the crowd. I usually do state my opinion, but there are people who are REALLY in to things they like, and DON'T take kindly to criticism. Like if a movie comes out such as a new Batman, it could be really silly, irritating, lacking substance and totally over rated. People will go on review sites and give it 10/10, 100% and it shows up in the top 10 movies of all time.....If I like something, I will be honest. To me, I have standards, and I hate it when people over hype and praise things that don't deserve that much validation. People forget about most of these films a few months after they are released anyway. It is just because it is new. People seem to care more about new products than anything else. I value tried and tested things that stand the test of time. I value old things.

So it is difficult to give an honest answer of dislike to people. I find that I have to rein in my dislike by being quiet about it, or giving mini positives like "it's alright" or "not bad" (what I really mean is that it is mediocre at best and that it was a waste of my time) but that would be seen as rude/offensive to them. By dismissing what they like, it kind of ruins their fun. I can see it from their point of view, but I don't see why I have to suffer pretending to like things.
Very good points, PerpetuallyStuck! I feel the same way. I'm scared that people will think me a bore or a jerk because I don't like something they do. I don't want to ruin other people's fun either, but I've watched a ton of movies in theaters and came out feeling like the experience was "so-so." Overall, like you said, a waste of time. I used to get disappointed very easily so it was hard putting on a smile and saying "It was good." I would say just "It's not bad" as well to not offend anyone. It would allow me to get off the subject as quickly as possible.

Over time, I've become less invested in the outcome of things. I've been able to separate my high expectations from the experience and come out less disappointed. It's been tough getting there though. I hope you find acceptance for who you are someday!
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

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Opinions are something everyone has and are entitled too. If I feel strongly about something then never feel bad about expressing it. If you're scared of peoples reactions then keep it to yourself, but your opinion is never wrong. Its your opinion. Its not the same as a fact. I personally take pride in not always having the same opinion as the mainstream herd
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

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That's another good point! Emotions really do play a part and it's hard to separate them from reason. As far the opinion goes, I'm a very open-minded person. I think everybody should love who they love, man, woman, transgender; it doesn't matter to me. However, I feel differently about that when it comes to the character of Harley Quinn. I don't know if you're familiar with her, but she's a very popular supervillain obsessed with the Joker. She's also got that Birds of Prey movie out now (which I walked out of after 20 minutes because I hated it!) Well now, in her new cartoon on the DC Universe service and in the comic books, she's in a romantic relationship with Poison Ivy. I'm not happy about it. She was obsessed with a man and now she's just a lesbian? As a woman myself, it's too weird for me, especially because the character is very close to my heart. I always identified with her obsession with men and now that's stripped away.
Their is nothing wrong with feeling that way because you cant identify with the character anymore. I personally feel like thats not out of line with Harleys character. First off shes insane and impulsive so her changing orientation doesnt seem out of line in and of itself, but also I feel like by the very virtue that she is obsessed with the joker and wouldnt want any other man, then that also explains why she would turn to woman. Because no other man could satisfy her.

Is their any explanation for her behavior in the comics ?
 
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LokiPokey75

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Opinions are something everyone has and are entitled too. If I feel strongly about something then never feel bad about expressing it. If you're scared of peoples reactions then keep it to yourself, but your opinion is never wrong. Its your opinion. Its not the same as a fact. I personally take pride in not always having the same opinion as the mainstream herd
Thanks, Zack! I'm glad you've got enough confidence and pride in yourself to share your opinions even if they're not what other people agree with.
 
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LokiPokey75

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Their is nothing wrong with feeling that way because you cant identify with the character anymore. I personally feel like thats not out of line with Harleys character. First off shes insane and impulsive so her changing orientation doesnt seem out of line in and of itself, but also I feel like by the very virtue that she is obsessed with the joker and wouldnt want any other man, then that also explains why she would turn to woman. Because no other man could satisfy her.

Is their any explanation for her behavior in the comics ?
That's a good way to look at it. There's probably not any other man that would be good enough for her.

I think it just comes from the fact that the character is now seen as bisexual. When I first found out about her, I didn't realize this so it didn't make sense that she would like women too. Now it's like a part of her identity, but before, she wasn't really with women at all. It would be like any girl who has been with men her whole life just all of a sudden coming out as gay. It seems contradictory somehow.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

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That's a good way to look at it. There's probably not any other man that would be good enough for her.

I think it just comes from the fact that the character is now seen as bisexual. When I first found out about her, I didn't realize this so it didn't make sense that she would like women too. Now it's like a part of her identity, but before, she wasn't really with women at all. It would be like any girl who has been with men her whole life just all of a sudden coming out as gay. It seems contradictory somehow.
I agree it would seem contradictory in a normal person, but Harley is not a sane, conventional character definitely not a person who follows any rules or social norms. So like I said I dont think its out of line, but Id be willing to bet she'll eventually tire of that romance and go back to Mr. J 😁 just give it time !
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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@LokiPokey75 here I thought this opinion was going to be offensive! Hahaa :LOL: I mean I am not a lesbian but it's about a character not an actual person..a character you have identified with for a while, i can see why it affected you the way it did 🙏 I don't think it's offensive..as long as your views about real life are live and let live, you are fine:)
 
Nada Importa

Nada Importa

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Do you ever become afraid when you feel something no one else feels the way you do? This is what happens when I have an opinion that diverges from the norm. I'll check online to find if anyone else feels the way I do, seeking some sort of validation. I just don't want to be alone in my views. I fear that I'm stupid and wrong for having an opinion that might not be received well.

What do you do when this happens? Are you secure in your opinions or do you change them to fit the status quo?
I have borderline personality disorder and that is one of the things that happens with us. Our opinions feel like they don’t matter to anybody except ourselves. In my case I have a husband whose opinion is more important than anybody’s especially mine. He is always right in his mind I am always wrong. However it usually turns out that I am right. But he will never give me credit it will make him look weak.
 
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LokiPokey75

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Thanks Subota! I know it's not that bad. I had trouble admitting this one because it felt a little childish with no basis in reality. Don't get me wrong, I have other controversial opinions, but this one hurt because this new Harley is constantly being thrown in my face so I can't escape it.

Thanks for being so understanding! I'm glad it didn't come off as offensive. And I like the "live and let live" philosophy. That's how I feel too!
 
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LokiPokey75

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I have borderline personality disorder and that is one of the things that happens with us. Our opinions feel like they don’t matter to anybody except ourselves. In my case I have a husband whose opinion is more important than anybody’s especially mine. He is always right in his mind I am always wrong. However it usually turns out that I am right. But he will never give me credit it will make him look weak.
I'm so sorry to hear that Nada Importa! You deserve more respect than that. Despite the name you chose, you are important and your voice deserves to be heard. I don't know if you've sought counseling, but that seems like something you should talk to a therapist about. I hope one day you do feel like your opinion is worthwhile. Thank you for sharing!
 
Nada Importa

Nada Importa

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Of course I have sought counseling and have been in mental hospital twice! They threw meds at me and gave me coloring books!! Shrinks do not believe in borderline because they cannot do anything for it. They will do anything to convince me that it’s something else with my imagination. They are useless group
 
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LokiPokey75

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Of course I have sought counseling and have been in mental hospital twice! They threw meds at me and gave me coloring books!! Shrinks do not believe in borderline because they cannot do anything for it. They will do anything to convince me that it’s something else with my imagination. They are useless group
I'm sorry to hear that! That sounds awful. I don't have BPD, but I do suffer from OCD and depression and I have a very nice therapist who helps me through my issues. You might want to ask on the forum and see if anybody else has had the same issues you've had. Maybe they could offer some additional resources to help you with your mental disorder.
 
Nada Importa

Nada Importa

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I have some ocd too. I have basically given up on help. It’s been pretty clear to me that I don’t deserve any!
 
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LokiPokey75

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I have some ocd too. I have basically given up on help. It’s been pretty clear to me that I don’t deserve any!
Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't believe that at all about you, but you're entitled to your opinion. Just like I'm realizing I'm entitled to mine. You're a beautiful person, Nada. I hope one day you realize that!
 
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