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The Fear of Having Your Own Opinion

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LokiPokey75

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Do you ever become afraid when you feel something no one else feels the way you do? This is what happens when I have an opinion that diverges from the norm. I'll check online to find if anyone else feels the way I do, seeking some sort of validation. I just don't want to be alone in my views. I fear that I'm stupid and wrong for having an opinion that might not be received well.

What do you do when this happens? Are you secure in your opinions or do you change them to fit the status quo?
 
Faith198

Faith198

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Do you ever become afraid when you feel something no one else feels the way you do? This is what happens when I have an opinion that diverges from the norm. I'll check online to find if anyone else feels the way I do, seeking some sort of validation. I just don't want to be alone in my views. I fear that I'm stupid and wrong for having an opinion that might not be received well.

What do you do when this happens? Are you secure in your opinions or do you change them to fit the status quo?
I have to admit, I too feel a little insecure in my opinions. I feel exactly how you explain it. At the same time, I will fight it and speak my mind but it gets the best of me every now and then and I refrain from doing it.
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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It's interesting...in my own world I don't care what others think of my opinions but I am not very vocal about them because I am really afraid of conflict or it turning into a debate, and I also tend to take it personally when someone disagrees...even if I don't care what they think! I don't know why... but So I may come across as insecure about them but in my mind I know we all have our own reasons for our opinions being what they are
 
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LokiPokey75

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Thank you very much F9819 and Subota999 for sharing your experiences!

I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. Most of the time I usually find an online article that makes me feel better. I identify why I'm upset and then fix that rather my opinion. But as of late, I've had a very strong opinion of something that greatly bothers me and would offend other people. I'm a fairly open-minded person and this opinion is at odds with that. I feel like a hypocrite when I think it. Do you ever feel that way? That you feel a certain way about most things, but this is like the exception to how you normally think?
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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I think it's easy to get caught up in how we "normally" think and what specifically counts as "open minded" vs "offensive" but honestly, after accepting something pretty sketchy about myself, i realized there really are no clear lines. This is all fluid...sure there are the general things most people agree on, (thinking about open minded vs offensive) , but there really is no right answer. I'm sure you have your reasons for feeling this certain way, right?
 
Faith198

Faith198

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Thank you very much F9819 and Subota999 for sharing your experiences!

I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. Most of the time I usually find an online article that makes me feel better. I identify why I'm upset and then fix that rather my opinion. But as of late, I've had a very strong opinion of something that greatly bothers me and would offend other people. I'm a fairly open-minded person and this opinion is at odds with that. I feel like a hypocrite when I think it. Do you ever feel that way? That you feel a certain way about most things, but this is like the exception to how you normally think?
yes I know what you mean. You’re not doing anything wrong having an opinion though, whether someone agrees with it or disagrees. It is difficult though. I have the worst fear of being wrong or sounding dumb when stating mine. I think I’m a bit of a people pleaser and I don’t want to upset/offend someone or make them hate me. Like you said. I know not everyone will like me though. Hard to tell my mind that though 😅
 
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LokiPokey75

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yes I know what you mean. You’re not doing anything wrong having an opinion though, whether someone agrees with it or disagrees. It is difficult though. I have the worst fear of being wrong or sounding dumb when stating mine. I think I’m a bit of a people pleaser and I don’t want to upset/offend someone or make them hate me. Like you said. I know not everyone will like me though. Hard to tell my mind that though 😅
That's exactly how I feel. I think this is the first opinion I have where I can't compromise it for anyone else. I feel ashamed a little of it, but it is what it is. Thanks for responding to me!
 
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LokiPokey75

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I think it's easy to get caught up in how we "normally" think and what specifically counts as "open minded" vs "offensive" but honestly, after accepting something pretty sketchy about myself, i realized there really are no clear lines. This is all fluid...sure there are the general things most people agree on, (thinking about open minded vs offensive) , but there really is no right answer. I'm sure you have your reasons for feeling this certain way, right?
That's an interesting way to look at it. You're right, there is a blurred line between those two extremes. I do have my reasons for the way I feel, but they're primarily emotion-based so it makes me think I'm wrong for feeling that way. I do have somewhat of a reasonable argument, but I know it's my bias that is primarily at the forefront. Do you have more opinions that are based in reason or emotion?
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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I am scared of looking stupid for mine too 😬 And I think most opinions are emotion based...there's nothing wrong with that, we (most of us) have the ability to experience a wide range of emotions, so I don't understand those type of people who act like emotions have no place in influencing us as humans...you know? Now I'm curious what this controversial opinion is...but you don't have to say it if you don't want to 🙏
 
Someone_alone

Someone_alone

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"Its none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. "
~Anthony Hopkins~

If you let other people define you and the decisions you make then are you really you? or are you just a collection of standards other people want. Be yourself and believe what you believe.
 
PerpetuallyStuck

PerpetuallyStuck

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It is really difficult to go against the crowd. I usually do state my opinion, but there are people who are REALLY in to things they like, and DON'T take kindly to criticism. Like if a movie comes out such as a new Batman, it could be really silly, irritating, lacking substance and totally over rated. People will go on review sites and give it 10/10, 100% and it shows up in the top 10 movies of all time.....If I like something, I will be honest. To me, I have standards, and I hate it when people over hype and praise things that don't deserve that much validation. People forget about most of these films a few months after they are released anyway. It is just because it is new. People seem to care more about new products than anything else. I value tried and tested things that stand the test of time. I value old things.

So it is difficult to give an honest answer of dislike to people. I find that I have to rein in my dislike by being quiet about it, or giving mini positives like "it's alright" or "not bad" (what I really mean is that it is mediocre at best and that it was a waste of my time) but that would be seen as rude/offensive to them. By dismissing what they like, it kind of ruins their fun. I can see it from their point of view, but I don't see why I have to suffer pretending to like things.
 
Ramson mash

Ramson mash

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I stick to my guns and see how it goes.
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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People forget about most of these films a few months after they are released anyway. It is just because it is new. People seem to care more about new products than anything else. I value tried and tested things that stand the test of time. I value old things.
(y) This! This is what companies want. They have shortened our attention span and made us think that new is better, and materialism is better...and once you notice this, it is painfully everywhere and cringeworthy...but that is a whole other conversation 😆

By dismissing what they like, it kind of ruins their fun.
And this is basically what I operate by most of the time. I always wondered why some people always give their negative input about something that someone else likes...there is a time and place for it but most of the time I think it just ruins the fun of things like this (movies and such)
 
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LokiPokey75

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I am scared of looking stupid for mine too 😬 And I think most opinions are emotion based...there's nothing wrong with that, we (most of us) have the ability to experience a wide range of emotions, so I don't understand those type of people who act like emotions have no place in influencing us as humans...you know? Now I'm curious what this controversial opinion is...but you don't have to say it if you don't want to 🙏
That's another good point! Emotions really do play a part and it's hard to separate them from reason. As far the opinion goes, I'm a very open-minded person. I think everybody should love who they love, man, woman, transgender; it doesn't matter to me. However, I feel differently about that when it comes to the character of Harley Quinn. I don't know if you're familiar with her, but she's a very popular supervillain obsessed with the Joker. She's also got that Birds of Prey movie out now (which I walked out of after 20 minutes because I hated it!) Well now, in her new cartoon on the DC Universe service and in the comic books, she's in a romantic relationship with Poison Ivy. I'm not happy about it. She was obsessed with a man and now she's just a lesbian? As a woman myself, it's too weird for me, especially because the character is very close to my heart. I always identified with her obsession with men and now that's stripped away.

I think what bothers me most about it is it's because she's with a woman. If she was with another man, I wouldn't feel as strongly that it's weird or wrong. I feel betrayed, hurt, and disappointed; I don't recognize the character anymore. I do a Harley Quinn voice myself and I've always had a strong connection with her. Because she's turned into something I don't like, I feel as though I have to get rid of a part of myself which sucks. Especially because that's the way the creators want to take the character now; I like the OG Harley from the Batman animated series the best and I don't see her anymore.

So not really a very controversial opinion in the scheme of things, but it reveals a bias I'm not proud of. Hope I haven't stirred the pot too much! If you're a lesbian, please, I do not mean to offend you. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I wish you all the happiness in the world, truly. This is just a really particular case where I don't like that these two characters became lovers. They were amazing as friends; I wish they hadn't crossed the line. But everybody really seems to like them as a couple so I feel very alone in my opinion.
 
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LokiPokey75

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"Its none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. "
~Anthony Hopkins~

If you let other people define you and the decisions you make then are you really you? or are you just a collection of standards other people want. Be yourself and believe what you believe.
Great, beautiful words Someone_alone. Thank you for saying them. I will try, even it hurts others sometimes.
 
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