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The Eternal need for a buzz

GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
Pills
Alcohol
Marijuana
Always...forever...eternal
I need the buzz to function and get through life. Anyone else?
Damned souls we are
I’m like so sick and tired of being accused mentally ill I escape alcohol
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

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Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
Very good points WhatSarahSaid. I dont want to quit smoking...but drinking is killing me and I have quit but I always return to it. And the anti depressants help but I combine everything and truly am dying.

I am so sad that I have days I dont even remember. I let myself down...I let everyone down. I'm a broken man
I escape through alcohol because I’m so sick of being accused me mentally ill and my family always says I’m sick but I achieve in life my family won’t acknowledge that it’s always them saying I’m mental I’ve had it I escape this through alcohol
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
i remember the first time i took a hit of bud and instantly felt like i could breathe and enjoy my life for the very first time from birth, now its 8 shots of cheap vodka everynight debating on if i should even eat ramen or not cause i dont have 20 cents for it...
I know I have to escape through alcohol and stretch my pennies to make it work I too am flat poor
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
Im
its a living hell. There comes a day when you realize you're addicted. so far gone . its a cycle of pure insanity. Combined with BPD its absolute shit show. Im a quiet borderline but the alcohol can send me into full blown rage. Im convince .I want to quit but that emptiness returns and the loneliness of it all makes me give in. It like i want the weed or alcohol more that anything. Ive lost everything that truly matters. no self respect left when you throw your values and morals out to poison yourself over and over and over...to a point you don't even know what they are. I joined to get support. I want to quit. Im might go to rehab. so sick of all of it
telling you I escape my pain too through alcohol because when I quit drinking I can’t handle my feelings it’s hell. Alcohol numbs me out I have to hide all of this from my family that keeps threatening me about alcohol and putting me in patient
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

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Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
I am also a functioning alcoholic. My fiancee at the time said once an alcoholic always an alcoholic.
I’m too a functioning alcoholic but I have to constantly hide it from my threatening family
 
Memememememememe

Memememememememe

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Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
607
Location
Here
Count me in, I need the buzz of alcohol. Only those that have it understand.
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
Count me in, I need the buzz of alcohol. Only those that have it understand.
Okay I’ve been off alcohol for 3 days now and My Doctor raised my Geodon so my anger and suicidal tendencies went away do I love beer yes! Completely! But I can’t live with it making feel suicidal so I’m fighting going back to it because I’m not suicidal anymore dude
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
I’m too a functioning alcoholic but I have to constantly hide it from my threatening family
I’m telling you man I finally quit 4 days ago talked to my doctor on the phone since it’s phone these days and he raised my antipsychotic and the cravings lifted and I’m telling you I have always lived to drink! Talk to your doctor and get your antipsychotic raised it changes everything
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
Im

telling you I escape my pain too through alcohol because when I quit drinking I can’t handle my feelings it’s hell. Alcohol numbs me out I have to hide all of this from my family that keeps threatening me about alcohol and putting me in patient
I got my antipsychotic raised with my doctor and now I don’t live to drink try it it’s a freakin miracle
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
Okay I’ve been off alcohol for 3 days now and My Doctor raised my Geodon so my anger and suicidal tendencies went away do I love beer yes! Completely! But I can’t live with it making feel suicidal so I’m fighting going back to it because I’m not suicidal anymore dude
My Geodon is my antipsychotic try it makes the cravings lift dude
 
T

TyFence

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Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Messages
85
Location
NorCal
I’m not an alcoholic, but I sure like to hear the hopeless get positive. It is a miracle! Be thankful to Jesus and follow him through the rest of your recovery. You need his strength and love and forgiveness will get you through. God loves you. See you can do it with the right help, it’s hopeful now. Go with God.
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
I’m not an alcoholic, but I sure like to hear the hopeless get positive. It is a miracle! Be thankful to Jesus and follow him through the rest of your recovery. You need his strength and love and forgiveness will get you through. God loves you. See you can do it with the right help, it’s hopeful now. Go with God.
I love you
 
N

nutsie

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Jul 5, 2020
Messages
266
Location
Keeling
I usually take crank or opioid every week, sometime toochie if can get Sunday only for special treat

But always feel total shite Monday

Yesterday not take and today do not feel shite

Stop our bang is so very hard

I think if you can do only one time in a week is good but very hard to do
 
GodsArtist1971

GodsArtist1971

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
99
Location
34990
I usually take crank or opioid every week, sometime toochie if can get Sunday only for special treat

But always feel total shite Monday

Yesterday not take and today do not feel shite

Stop our bang is so very hard

I think if you can do only one time in a week is good but very hard to do
I’ve been forcing myself to stay sober for the first time in 30 years like a month now because I was so tired of feeling like shit. I talked with my doctor a few times getting my medicine straightened out because when you quit a substance that rewards your brain the pleasure part you hurt until your medicine works now I feel better and can fuck off drinking booze
 
Memememememememe

Memememememememe

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Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
607
Location
Here
Congratulations GodsArtist! I'm not there...
 
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