The Eternal Emptiness

Looney Tunes

Looney Tunes

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#1
Okay this is my first post on here, my PDoc feels that BPD is going to be my label and reading around it it does seem very apt.

I’ve been wanting to ask this question since I joined but feel it seems like such a trivial question in the grand scheme of things.

How on earth can I cope with The Eternal Emptiness? Okay it really isn’t eternal but it seems like it, in the past away from work I’ve self medicated but my time away from work I can actually fill quite easily with TV, reading but even then I can feel in nibbling away at where my soul should be.

I’ve been on Mirtazapine for years and on that’s not really an issue, my GP put me on Sertraline last year for what I thought was anxiety and depression and it helped for a while then upped the dose when I started to feel bad again. During an aptt with my PDoc I suggested coming off and whilst trying to taper I noticed it was emptiness I was feeling and my dose has gone back up but even now I’m starting to feel empty again. I can’t keep chasing this, is there an alternative? My PDoc has already talked about stabilisers, will these help with the emptiness?
 
L

Lucev

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#2
Hi I was put into sertraline an quetiapine years ago after years of citalopram. I was told I had depression but after things going worse n worse was diagnosed with bpd. Quetiapine is a mood stabilizer but beware as you become very tired and lethargic. I had to stop the stabilizers as I couldn't function in the morning at all. I know everyone is different and that they may help sometimes. For me I felt worse .I feel lonely, empty and pointless constantly. The most conversations I have are with myself in my own head. I have 2 young kids and a husband. I live only for my kids and live in a never-ending fear that something bad could happen to them. I picture things in my head that aren't real then worry about them all the time. I've been reading that the only proven thing to help bpd is DBT. I've never been offered this by the doctors . It's always worth trying the stabilizers as they affect people differently but don't drive for a few days until your sure they are for you .
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

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#3
I don’t believe any medications will help with The Eternal Emptiness.

I asked my psychiatrist about this emptiness (after being prescribed sertraline—I’m 5 days on it now). She basically said only therapy can help. My current therapist has started a treatment plan with me that is DBT based.

This is my first time taking meds, I was self-medicating with weed (still am). I still struggle with the emptiness everyday, I just try to distract myself.

My advice would be, ask about DBT. Sorry that I can’t help more, really I’m in the same boat
 
Looney Tunes

Looney Tunes

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#4
Thank you both for your replies, I said in my original post that it feels like a trivial thing to be asking about but the emptiness does seem to be the a very common problem in my head (there are bigger ones that cause worse problems but I can normally deal with them).

I visited my parents at the weekend and chatting to my mum about some other issues around work etc. and she told me that I’m bored, apparently I’ve always had issues when I get bored. In a way (from her perspective) she is sort of right but it’s more than just that - I’m empty. I can find stimulus when I’m bored but nothing I try can tackle the shear emptiness and I can’t even focus no how busy I make myself. I’m just working 101% and getting everything perfect I’m just empty.
 
4EVRHSP

4EVRHSP

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#5
I completely relate to this post.
I, too feel the emptiness. It's like a huge, black void. It's emptiness, pointlessness... almost like everyday you wake up and feel like you're just wasting time and your life, ultimately. You have days where you talk to people, interact with your friends and socialise and you feel for a brief moment what life's about. But then you go back to your home, sit on your bed and realise that those moments are just that... brief.

I think what separates people who have BPD and those who don't is that people without BPD are more comfortable with the inane aspects of life. The everyday. For certain people with BPD, we're always looking for 'more'. For more colours, more sensations, more intensity. That's just not realistic and it's something I don't think i'll ever know how to do... accept the inane.
 
daffy

daffy

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#6
It’s such a strange thing to describe and I didnt realise so many felt the same. The only way I can describe it it’s like ive lost something I really love but don’t know what it is. I’ve had it for so long now and no meds have got rid of it.
 
LouisaMogs

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#7
I completely understand what you mean by the emptiness. I think it’s been two years since I really felt anything.
 
4EVRHSP

4EVRHSP

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#8
The only way I can describe it it’s like ive lost something I really love but don’t know what it is. I’ve had it for so long now and no meds have got rid of it.
!!!! So accurate!!!! Argh totally not alone here this is literally how I feel, eerie hey?
 
Urban Hermit

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#9
I'm sure if this helps but ...
I like to focus on the small details , the little sensations, the tiny things that may appear mundane, but I think of those little smiles from a stranger on the street, or the tingle of hot water in the shower, feeling of a shell collected from the beach between my fingers.
Etc.
I sometimes still get lost in the void but have found those things can bring me back. XX
 
midnightphoenix

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#10
Sadly, i dont think there's a healthy way of setting rid of the emptiness. i never found a healthy way anyways :hug:

just dont go down the same path as me :sorry:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#11
i mean my cats distract me at times (they are at the moment, playing chase-me-chase-me-try-and-get-me) :love: but they are only a very short term distraction :cry:
 

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