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the devil is in my head

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mad as a hatter

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Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
ask me a few days ago about this and said i was terrified off it but now i need him there cause it means he,s taking control off my thoughts making descisisons i don,t have 2 care he can sort out all the other voices keep them in check i,m loving this if they don,t do what there told he wants 2 kill them only talks 2 me when i,m around other people peace has descended so what,s the point off the taking ne antisycotics then when the ct r saying what,s happening in ur head isn,t real it,s illness based i said that,s bullshit he,s in there alright with the aliens i,m not ill i don,t need them or ne meds as a matter off fact the devil given me a lot off power in someway like i need 2 fight bk at these people that say he,s not real and it feels damn good it really does i like that cause nobody can touch me then i,m more confident 2 think i might try life without meds there not the answer either :)
 
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Charlie123

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Apr 17, 2010
Messages
48
Hey man. Sounds heavy. Everything ok?
 
M

mad as a hatter

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Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
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yep things r a bit better now the meds have kicked in thanks for asking
 
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saltandpepper

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Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
184
Mad,
If you're a reader, you might want to look online for Dr. Rufus May and Dr. Carol North 's hearing recoveries. They both took the bull by the horns and turned it back around, became doctors. Well, just that it might inspire you. Strange as it might sound, I once had a voice that was praying for me, and soon after I was back to work and school, married and two children.
z
 
M

mad as a hatter

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Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
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Location
scotland
yeah i,ve read about rufus may and it,s great what he,s done i,ve tried so hard even 2 live without meds but it overwhelms so i,m stuck on them forthe moment it,s so frustrating cause the side effects r bad and they r helping with the voices i,ve lost my dream off working with animals yrs ago as this illness has over took my life a bit as i don,t feel as strong ne more so i,m taking 1 day at a time just now and sort off enjoying this good feeling i,ve got cause i,m scared it,ll go again and the devil comes bk
 
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saltandpepper

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May 2, 2010
Messages
184
Last edited:
M

mad as a hatter

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Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
yeah it is getting harder i,ve just had the voices 4 yrs now i,m saying just but compared 2 some people that,s nothing but the last few months it,s been hell my bipolor has got out control much more in last 2 yrs i,ve not got ne pdoc care ne more just my cpn for a few reasons they only know so i,m pratically stuck with it on my own now and that makes life even harder but i,ve just got 2 get on with it i don,t intend 2 tk these meds forever just at the moment til i get over the worst i hope
 
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saltandpepper

Well-known member
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
184
Mad,
Well, I hope that it all works out for you, that you find something that works for you. It's spiritual, and it has to come from within, the will to survive, to overcome, and to prevail. Keep trying different things, to find something that may work for you. Vitamins and exercise, and whole living foods, but it's hard to maintain, consistent.... that's the key, that we "get a grip", MAINTAIN A GRIP. Been there... done that....
Sal
 
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saltandpepper

Well-known member
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
184
Has it ever occurred to any of you how rare we are?
We are the rare exception to this below:

Isaiah 59:4
None calleth for justice, nor any pleadeth for truth: they trust in vanity, and speak lies; they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity.

I would imagine that God would know us all, the rare exeption.
I would imagine that our prayers would always be heard, that we could move mountains.

Sal
 
C

Charlie123

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Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
48
Hey Mad, your not on your own mate. There are good people on here by the sounds of it. Your CPN will be o help! Have you got yourself an advance statement? Or been on a community order?
 
M

mad as a hatter

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
never been on a cto thankfully i,ve not got much help from he pdoc,s ne more they,ve dropped for reasons only they will know but i,m not gettin into that i,ve got a good and supportive cpn who.s not around at the moment be bk in 10 days or so it occured 2 me 2 day that the meds have only moved the devil from the front off my head and mind 2 the side and between my ears what,s the point off that i feel so crap and the meds r only making me feel ill physically but if i don,t tk them i,ll only get progressivly worse and that scares me so why i do i could cry with it all the feckin devil has 1 which i had never started the damn things the devil feel stronger than ever before i,m more suicdal now than i,ve ever been it,s truly awful it really is and i do realise i,m not alone with it cause all u on here but it sure does feel like it at times
 
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terri

Guest
Has it ever occurred to any of you how rare we are?
We are the rare exception to this below:

Isaiah 59:4
None calleth for justice, nor any pleadeth for truth: they trust in vanity, and speak lies; they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity.

I would imagine that God would know us all, the rare exeption.
I would imagine that our prayers would always be heard, that we could move mountains.

Sal
Hi Friend, you got a friend in Desus, and something tells me you are struggling as well as me, and we are the first on a long long line of people, all friends who are finding themselves in the same awesomely vile violent position of having ourselves banned off what for so so obvious is supposed to be a freedom of speech forum, and who accuses me of that and that and then that and that and then that and that and zhat and zhat and somehow we do no no need to tackle those for zhat and therefore and then and then and zhen and zhephere and zepherey and for zooezizel nd for zoos as swelland for sore I am sort of and for sore I am sore of someone and for someone and for etctera and etcertera and if you cannop see it zhen I hope you can smell the burn marks off of our carpet for the lods are spittin feathers here in stunnin utter disbelief that they could try that and do zhat and zhat and zhat and zhat and zhat and somehow dear hess friend I can't get into my web page for the anne marie howard and I can't access anne marie and I can't access anyone for every single one of them has tried to stake their claims on me not getting through here and so now I do someone no harm whatsoever, and they go kik me off and go kill me off as well and go kitten ish and got off on one and go kick my off and somehow got to be someone who knows someone who knows something and goes Sangra Mahria and somehow I guess someone will do something and do someone no harms at all and sort of pointed it out to me that all is blatantly clear that I have had to rush home for those voices of ours have so foretold me that something had happened and I get here, and go ballistic at someone and someone and somhow don't forget dear Cal that I am through and for sure so are you, and you need to go the ntl route and or the aol and don't ever forget me as I shall never ever forget you, and so thanks for s'all and so apologise for having the nerve to someone no harm at all and so so so so so sorry for absolutely nothing and no one and no one else is involved and kick them off our spaceship for those times are a coming and complete all and sayeth all and I shall watch watch watch with much much interest, through our visions, and through our sanest and insamipy simply does not exist not through me and through youneither and I so have your sons and they are coming through thick and fast and all zhere s'while now, and so life on earth as we so know it is over for us all, and they start the count down for the Big Fab Doom and so on and Sonic Booms are so in now and so not b for t then dear hess, and yes of course and of coursse you are still of course and of ourse you you are c in front of o there and oooos and o and oh and ohio and oh oh oh and you are so in now and so no mores and do take care and lots of love always and sort of closure now for a s'while up until they go destroy their gearing and go slowly spiral downstairs and I go off bother.

Ta ta dear hearts and harps are sinning so no mores......:evil:
 
M

mad as a hatter

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
i must admit just a few short wks ago i thought it was the end with all that was goin on in my head i felt controlled by the voices and the devil and god talking 2 me it was like the both needed 2 be heard at the 1 go and they where in the front off my mind and tho many people around me kept telling me they weren,t real and 2 keep taking the meds which i resisted a bit and came off them after wks only for the voices 2 get more agressive and threatning i couldn,t stand it ne more i had no choice but tk the meds or i,d ended up inhospital i think i,ve had 2 tk a higher dose which is a disappointment in it,s self but now things have improved for me the devil has not gone he,s still at the bk off my mind which mean,s i,m now questionong if he,s real that,s a major improvement for me my mood sttill swinging a bit but at least it,s improving i,m not jumping through hoops yet but at least i have a little hope in my life but i know that could change at ne time and i,ll be overwhelmed at ne time if it wasn,t forthis forum and the people on it i wouldn,t got through it and there,s others 2 that aren,t around the forum that have done there bit so thanks 2 u all
 
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