The Crazy Lady That Randomly Screams

SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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That's probably what my neighbors think of me,that I am just this crazy lady that they hear letting out a loud scream at random times throughout the week.

I have moved into a new town,in an apartment surrounded by other apartments.The walls are not paper thin to where you can hear everything people are saying and doing but they are thin enough that I hear muffled voices and other noises they make.I definitely know I would hear if someone screamed very loud.

I know they can hear me loud and clear when I get startled.And I feel humiliated about it.Nobody has said anything to me,nobody has banged on my door to see if I am ok but I know they hear.I don't share with other people that I have PTSD really but I kinda feel like maybe I should casually mention it during small talk I have with neighbors when I am outside.Casually mention that my symptoms have been so outrageous lately that sometimes I am startled by my own shadow or just by walking by a mirror and catching a glimpse of myself out of the corner of my eyes and it makes me scream automatically.

I don't know though.Some people hear PTSD and think that a person with it will be violent or go postal on them or something.I don't want them to judge me or be afraid of me.Or maybe that's just my own fear and paranoia thinking the worst,I don't know.

I really like where I am living.Everyone is so friendly.I don't want to screw things up for myself.

I'm not sure whether to let it go and wait and see if anyone says something to me or say something now.I really don't want to be thought of as the crazy lady that moved in.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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It happened again yesterday evening.I was startled by nothing really and screamed.It was very loud and I am humiliated.
 
Anon_21

Anon_21

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I dont think you should be humiliated. It's probably not as strange to other people as you think. Tell them if you want, but I really doubt anyone is thinking too much about it. I've lived in an apartment complex like that, and we didnt think a thing of other sounds we heard. There are a lot of reasons someone might randomly scream. Be kind to yourself, Sunny :hug:
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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I dont think you should be humiliated. It's probably not as strange to other people as you think. Tell them if you want, but I really doubt anyone is thinking too much about it. I've lived in an apartment complex like that, and we didnt think a thing of other sounds we heard. There are a lot of reasons someone might randomly scream. Be kind to yourself, Sunny :hug:
Thanks.I think you're right.I have been turning off everything that makes noise lately just to see what I can hear from neighbors.Some things I have been hearing make me think wtf was that,but it's as far as it goes,I don't really care what they ate doing or not doing and whatever sounds they make.As a matter of fact I heard people arguing one night,way late at night and it made me feel a random scream or yelp now and then is not a big deal afterall/
 
Zadkiel

Zadkiel

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Your Heart, dummy
You should try to push away the feeling of being humilliated.

Sometimes, you think that people will judge you for something that you think it's humilliating. However, most of them are on their own thing and won't really care what you do as long it doesn't affect them directly. People often tend to punish themselves for things that, in their eyes, are flaws that not only bothers them but others around.

I get angry more times than what I would like to admit, but people don't say I am a brute or something like that. They just don't care, for the better or for worse.

In short: don't punish yourself for things that you can't control, and don't think others will punish you because you think you're doing something bad. Just... Be yourself, and try to enjoy as much as you can your days.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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I'm still the crazy lady that screams.I think nearly everyone here where I live has heard and seen it.

The difference now is I DGAF.I really don't,I don't even get embarrassed anymore,it is what it is.
 
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