The Burden of my Whole Life is Before me

Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
I try to remember what it was like in my thirties. I remember the hyper sexuality and the crying every month when I felt shame for my adultery. I don't necessarily believe that this was a bad thing to have hypersexuality. If my husband had been interested, it could have worked out fine and there'd be no monthly crying from guilt. So I don't know that it was really bipolar. No one introduced me to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous until years later. The question remains : Would I have taken SLAA seriously without being slowed down by lithium ??

If I look back to the past, I get turned into a pillar of salt. Safer to be here and now. I'll be 62 next month.
 
J

JoseMaria

Active member
Joined
Oct 12, 2018
Messages
32
Sex adict lol
the new prudery
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Unlike AA and NA, which help one cease all usage of the unwanted substances, in SLAA the goal is to find a healthy expression of sexuality as opposed to the out of control type. Hard to do the program when you're manic. SLAA has nothing to do with "prudery".
 
Last edited:
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
30,192
Location
Mordor
Pre 2012 I was hypersexual. I did not have healthy outlets and it probably made my mental health a lot worse.

When I am ready perhaps I can venture into sexuality again - in a healthy way.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Pre 2012 I was hypersexual. I did not have healthy outlets and it probably made my mental health a lot worse.

When I am ready perhaps I can venture into sexuality again - in a healthy way.
Hey there, burt. What I liked about the SLAA program was they helped me STOP the crazy sexuality and put me on the road to a healthy sexuality. They have sponsors and they have the meetings, of course, where I learned not to be afraid to speak up in a group.

If I had really applied myself to the program, I would have learned that I could be without a man for an extended period of time. In that time I would have learned to work a job. I totally forgot that I wanted to be a photographer and went out and found another man. Only he was nicer and educated. I set about cooking for him. "sigh"
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
30,192
Location
Mordor
Yes that feels bittersweet I guess. From what I have heard you have a happy, loving relationship.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Yes, burt, I do have a best friend/companion. We don't do any fighting or manipulating or competing nor correcting. It's peaceful.

But I forgot to get a career and the psychiatric meds side effects made me sedentary for so many years, my muscles have atrophied and I've become dependent on my mate for many things. I would rather have remained independent with him. But acceptance is key and I'm told I can gradually introduce exercises that will give me back my autonomy.

It's just that I didn't complete the whole SLAA program. On the other hand, it is said that you cannot work out all your co dependency and critical parental crap in a vacuum. You have to be in a relationship to do it. And that's what we did.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
30,192
Location
Mordor
I hug my father. He used to treat me bad as a kid, but forgiveness is the lesson here.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Your father's so lucky to have your forgiveness. Forgiveness is powerful.

My mother just died last month and I forgive her for treating me bad as a kid. We had a few good years at the end of her life to be friends. I told her that I forgive her for everything in my childhood. It just sort of came up as she was saying she wasn't a good mother, that she should never have had children.

Give your Dad an extra hug for me because my Dad died decades ago and I never taught him to hug the way I taught my mother. I learned to hug from Leo Buscalia on public television. My parents didn't hug, so I taught my mom to hug. She basically allowed herself to finally be hugged but didn't really hug back.
 
Top