That feeling of being lonely but knowing its best.....

Unique1

Unique1

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#1
I often feel lonely, but I feel it's a bit of a contradiction as I i know being on my own is usually best...I don't always have the energy for the conversations meeting people or inviting people around brings with it. Sometimes conversations can cause my anxiety to kick off too, so it's easier without them...its a chosen loneliness if anyone can understand..as for me, to be with people seems like hard work, I could be with people if I chose to.

The thing is I'm finding when I do socialise in any way now, it's all just so exhausting, and if I get exhausted the anxiety kicks in, then the lows (such a vicious circle) I feel trapped in a lonely bubble that no one can burst, because it's subconsciously a chosen thing....

I wonder will things ever improve and will I ever even go back to be half the person I was...
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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#2
I am the same. I think though, as you mention going back to how you were before, that if you had the ability to socialise and be around people it will probably return when you start to feel better. I don't know how, though.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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#3
Yes, it's strange I used to never be on my own, always busy doing something...and I never thought I would cope with being on my own very well, and now I choose it...when I think about it it's weird, but I honestly have to pick my moments to be around people now, I find humans so exhausting lol, although I do still get pangs of wanting to join in, perhaps your right, as I recover, I will be more up for it, although I've resigned myself to knowing things will never be as they were, ..thank you for the response, appreciate it..
 
W

wannabegooroo

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#4
yeah it will improve, have a rest, address your anxiety, don't force yourself when not ready to socialise, relationships can be a potential source of emotional pain. your anxiety is telling you to chill out and spend some time alone, will power won't stop your body wanting to protect itself with rest
 
SomersetScorpio

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#5
I can definitely relate to this post, Unique1.
I get 'social hangovers' - being around people even for only a few hours leaves me exhausted.
I do get lonely but a part of me feels it's ultimately for the best, similar to how you feel.
I don't know what the answer is, but just wanted to offer my understanding. :hug:
 
W

wannabegooroo

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#6
relationships can be a major stress for everyone, and if you have trust issues it's magnified, I read in a book by plato once about friendship, the qualities of the friend are 1. utility or use, 2. for pleasure or fun and 3, their character...this can be a good way to judge your friendships even old ones
 
Unique1

Unique1

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#7
Just to know people understand it, is comforting. Thank you SomersetScorpio !
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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#9
I had a book I started to read about the introvert thing and it was really interesting. My problem is my brain gets so distracted all the time and I struggle to read long writings, it just doesnt process and i go over and over but im rambling now.
You should read up though about introverts!
That for me plus being shit on by so many 'friend' has put me off people hehe. My bf gets mad as i g3t him to do things for me so I can avoid social interactions but he just dont understand. Doh
 
Unique1

Unique1

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#10
I had a book I started to read about the introvert thing and it was really interesting. My problem is my brain gets so distracted all the time and I struggle to read long writings, it just doesnt process and i go over and over but im rambling now.
You should read up though about introverts!
That for me plus being shit on by so many 'friend' has put me off people hehe. My bf gets mad as i g3t him to do things for me so I can avoid social interactions but he just dont understand. Doh
I too get distracted and lack concentration when reading, so I understand that, although the introvert thing is something someone did mention to me before, I must have a look. Thank you. I also underStand the not wanting social interactions, and yes it is hard for people to understand it. I guess unless you suffer with it it's hard to understand. Thank you for the response,
 
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quietsecret

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#11
I think when you meet the right friends at the right timing of your life you and them will be alright to spend time together in comfortable silence :) I'm sorry you feel in a bubble of loneliness I understand how disconnected you can feel at times and I hope this will soon pass and you feel happier
 

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