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Terrified if I'm attracted to my mother, or if it's just OCD

LukeLaLaLand

LukeLaLaLand

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These definitely sound like intrusive thoughts. It's like "don't think of an elephant", you can't tell yourself not to think of something. I think by sort of 'testing' these things you're only making yourself more confused.

I think you'd benefit from counselling or therapy - talking to someone else can help you better understand how you're thinking. If you're concerned you have OCD then that would also be the place to start. They also by law have to keep it confidential. Your doctor could point you in the right direction, as well.

Remember that no-one neatly has all the symptoms of everything and there can be a lot of crossover. I get intrusive thoughts brought on by stress.
 
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Reddit384723

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These definitely sound like intrusive thoughts. It's like "don't think of an elephant", you can't tell yourself not to think of something. I think by sort of 'testing' these things you're only making yourself more confused.

I think you'd benefit from counselling or therapy - talking to someone else can help you better understand how you're thinking. If you're concerned you have OCD then that would also be the place to start. They also by law have to keep it confidential. Your doctor could point you in the right direction, as well.

Remember that no-one neatly has all the symptoms of everything and there can be a lot of crossover. I get intrusive thoughts brought on by stress.
I hope you’re referring to my last post!

Yeah, I’d go to therapy if I had healthcare, which I don’t have right now. I was confident that this was OCD, but one last thing has me torn up about this. If I still get an erection while looking at my mother, but I’m not thinking about sex while looking, does that still count as groinal response? The only thing that could explain what causes it other than sexual thoughts is anxiety, but often when I was testing myself, I was fairly calm, so I’m questioning whether or not I was dealing with anxiety. I can’t find any information online that makes my OCD, if that’s what’s causing this, stop thinking there’s a possibility that, if I’m not thinking about sex, groinal response rules
 
LukeLaLaLand

LukeLaLaLand

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Hm, maybe your employer has an on-site counsellor? If you're 25 then you're probably eligible for youth counselling they might have in your area - worth a Google?

There's a big problem with testing yourself: it's a paradox. You're worried you feel a certain way, so you try to test if it's true, which just makes you worry more, which also affects how you interpret what you see.

I also would say that anxiety doesn't have to be obvious, even to you. I've had times in my life where I've felt really sick, and not realised it was brought on by stress - for example, consciously I felt optimistic about exams, but subconsciously I was anxious, which was coming out as feeling sick.

There's also an effect - I can't remember what it's called - where you seek out something that causes you anxiety, because you feel like you'd rather have done "the unthinkable" than be stuck worrying about "the unthinkable".

Can I just clarify: are you worried you have OCD, or are you someone who has OCD who wants to know whether this experience falls under OCD? Either way, this is textbook 'intrusive thoughts', so you don't need to prove that it isn't how you really feel. I think if you keep trying to prove it one way or the other, you're going to cause yourself more distress.

The best thing to do is try to look after yourself on the whole. I'm sorry it's hard for you to access help in your situation; the internet may give you some resources that can help with symptoms of OCD (I know there are even apps for helping with symptoms), and as ever, ideally you'd speak to a professional. To be honest, some of the replies in this thread have given misleading advice (everything Freud said about this kind of thing is notoriously a load of rubbish!)
 
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Reddit384723

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Hm, maybe your employer has an on-site counsellor? If you're 25 then you're probably eligible for youth counselling they might have in your area - worth a Google?

There's a big problem with testing yourself: it's a paradox. You're worried you feel a certain way, so you try to test if it's true, which just makes you worry more, which also affects how you interpret what you see.

I also would say that anxiety doesn't have to be obvious, even to you. I've had times in my life where I've felt really sick, and not realised it was brought on by stress - for example, consciously I felt optimistic about exams, but subconsciously I was anxious, which was coming out as feeling sick.

There's also an effect - I can't remember what it's called - where you seek out something that causes you anxiety, because you feel like you'd rather have done "the unthinkable" than be stuck worrying about "the unthinkable".

Can I just clarify: are you worried you have OCD, or are you someone who has OCD who wants to know whether this experience falls under OCD? Either way, this is textbook 'intrusive thoughts', so you don't need to prove that it isn't how you really feel. I think if you keep trying to prove it one way or the other, you're going to cause yourself more distress.

The best thing to do is try to look after yourself on the whole. I'm sorry it's hard for you to access help in your situation; the internet may give you some resources that can help with symptoms of OCD (I know there are even apps for helping with symptoms), and as ever, ideally you'd speak to a professional. To be honest, some of the replies in this thread have given misleading advice (everything Freud said about this kind of thing is notoriously a load of rubbish!)
Well I’m unemployed and in the process of receiving disability right now so I’m kinda out of luck. It’s both but more the latter, that I’m trying to be sure that this is just part of OCD rather than something like incest. I was confident that it was until it dawned on me that I wasn’t 100 percent sure about something else that happened a couple months back. I’ve been trying to find detailed info about groinal response related to OCD, but it hasn’t been descriptive enough. So I guess I’m seeking reassurance or posting on here to get that descriptive info from experienced members on here
 
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Reddit384723

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@LukeLaLaLand

I've continued to worry about this for the past month and these intrusive thoughts haven't gone away because I haven't been able to resolve this:

Ugh I can’t stop hyperfocusing on this and checking for clarity:

I reread the article on the first page, and I take note of the term “sexual intrusive thought” and what that can mean. If I got erect while looking at my mother’s face (during “challenging myself”) instead of her other body parts, would that count as a sexual intrusive thought?
Just wanted to ask instead of going right to the challenging, plus that would be reinforcing the intrusive thoughts and just make them stronger so that’s not productive.

I guess I’m driving myself crazy!
I forgot to mention that I wouldn’t be thinking about having sex with her while looking, I’d merely be observing her face. I remembered that a couple months back, I challenged myself to do this, and got erect. Would that still count as a groinal response related to OCD? From what I understand, the groinal responses come from thinking about anything related to sex.
Sorry if you already stated that you believe these were intrusive thoughts, but you didn't directly refer to this specific worry, just overall what I was talking about. So I'm going to ask you: is what I stated above indicative of an intrusive sexual thought related to OCD, or could it be something else?
 
LukeLaLaLand

LukeLaLaLand

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Sorry, I haven't been on this website in a while. From my point of view, this is definitely an intrusive thought. And I actually think your fear that it's something else is a different kind of intrusive thought.
 
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Reddit384723

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Sorry, I haven't been on this website in a while. From my point of view, this is definitely an intrusive thought. And I actually think your fear that it's something else is a different kind of intrusive thought.
Well by something else I mean incest. How would this "different" intrusive thought be unrelated to OCD? My understanding is that all of them are related to OCD.
 
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Nb2737582

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What does your dad think about your sexual feelings for your mum?
 
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Reddit384723

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What does your dad think about your sexual feelings for your mum?
I hope I don't have sexual feelings for my mother. Apparently everyone on this thread seems to think I don't, what makes you think I do? And my father is dead actually.
 
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Nb2737582

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I hope I don't have sexual feelings for my mother. Apparently everyone on this thread seems to think I don't, what makes you think I do? And my father is dead actually.
I didn’t say you have sexual feelings for your mum, it’s the fact that you said you might have those feelings.

and so sorry to hear that.
 
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Gkhair19

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I'm going through the exact same thing Reddit384723 it's horrible but I'm getting the arousal 24hrs a day I'm just so repulsed I hope you can find some solace and peace my anxiety is through the roof
 
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Reddit384723

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Something horrible happened. I just masturbated through groinal responses while thinking of my mother. Here is what happened.

I have felt hopeless about my life, and particularly my dating life, for years now. I always wanted to meet my significant other in my 20s. But I developed trauma and severe anxiety during high school. However, I did have one relationship - I "settled", I tried to look past looks because I wasn't attractive myself (I posted a photo of myself on the old "HotOrNot" website, and I got , and focus more on personality. This one experience dating a somewhat average-ish looking girl was weird, I felt like I was dating a friend. We broke it off after a few months, I think she picked up on the fact that I wasn't attracted to her. This was in senior year. It was a bad experience and made me feel like never taking a chance on someone I wasn't initially attracted to ever again, in fear of hurting them. I realized that I was only attracted to conventionally attractive women. This is an important part of what has been going on in my head. A teacher of mine once told me that my mother looked very pretty for her age, and seemed to really mean it. This really messed with me back then, and it has seemed to grow into intrusive thoughts.

Meanwhile, I tried getting a job after high school, failed, and this experience traumatized me so much, I stopped leaving my house. Since then, I have struggled with mental health and therapy hasn't been enough. I have been completely isolated, have not talked to anyone since high school. I started considering suicide about 7 years ago because I felt like I would never be good enough for the types of careers or relationships I want. It got to the point to where I attempted suicide last month, but was caught by the police and spent 3 weeks in inpatient. I decided that I should get a social worker and recovery coach to help with my issues, try to overcome them, and see how I feel then. But I came across some statistics about marriage and relationships a few days ago that haunted me. I now really feel like I missed the boat in meeting someone that I would like and the type of relationship I wanted. I have felt completely dejected over the past few days. Lately I have had sudden intrusive thoughts like "if you're only attracted to conventionally beautiful women, but aren't attractive enough for them, might as well go for your mom as she seems to be conventionally attractive and looks good for her age!", and I immediately dismissed them, as I thought they were absurd. But they have been building up over time and have been creating mild stress. Other ones are like "I bet your mother will do anything for you!" Meanwhile, over the past few months, my OCD has gotten horrible and I have been comparing my mother to attractive celebrities. Even posting photos of her on sites like "starsbyface.com" to see who would come up. And sometimes, there are some that look a bit like my mother. This triggers me to challenge myself to test whether or not I am attracted to the celebrities that look like her in many ways.

I found a new celebrity that looked like her this morning, and I struggled to not find this one attractive. This combined with the horrible feelings I have had about my life, while trying to recover from suicidality/giving up on life, made those horrible intrusive thoughts pop up again, and I just lost it, and decided to masturbate through the groinal responses I typically have while thinking of my mother. I ejaculated quickly, and even masturbated again. And now I feel horrified. I am guessing this has moved from OCD to incestuous thoughts? I feel completely disgusted about this, and hate my life so much. I know this all sounds pathetic....but I have been isolated for years and struggled with it.
 
MissPink

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I stopped watching porn every day as I would get inappropriate thoughts from watching it. I haven't done since.
 
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Reddit384723

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I stopped watching porn every day as I would get inappropriate thoughts from watching it. I haven't done since.
I dont really watch porn, especially the incest taboo stuff. And that is not helping me with my thoughts, so....
 

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