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Terrified if I'm attracted to my mother, or if it's just OCD

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Reddit384723

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What’s more disturbing thinking your mother is fit or in good shape or has nice legs and letting the thought come and go never paying any mind to it or thinking anything of it or having an incestuous relationship with your mother? It is quite clear that the latter is more disturbing to you as you just admitted to me so why be so preoccupied with all this?
I’m worried about the latter because I’m afraid that that isn’t valid, because I’m constantly questioning if it’s true that Im not sexually interested in my mother, due to these new concerns I have from rituals.
 
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grentthealien

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I’m worried about the latter because I’m afraid that that isn’t valid, because I’m constantly questioning if it’s true that Im not sexually interested in my mother, due to these new concerns I have from rituals.
I understand this. I have OCD. What I’m doing is just framing things in a different way to show you that just because you can think something it doesn’t mean that’s what you want or what you are going to do. At the end of the day CBT is what you need to practice. I’m not spiritual, but I’d also look into reading about Buddhism and religions and philosophies like that that practice mediating and mindfully detaching from one’s own thoughts. They might be of use to you along the way.
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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Reddit, your obsession is the THOUGHT. It's irrelevant that the thought is about your mother - it could just as easily be a bowl of custard.

You're not letting it go. Experimenting continually with the idea is just making it more deeply ingrained in your psyche.

If the idea of sexual relations with your mother repulses you, this is a prime example of OCD throwing up the thing you are most afraid of - most disgusted by.

We've had several people on here torturing themselves that they might be paedophiles. The fact that this is the most abhorrent thing on earth to them is what powers the thought process.
 
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EstherRose94

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Lunar lady’s right. I understand why you’re challenging yourself because you want proof that your worries aren’t true. But trust me, they’re definitely not. Just take my word for it, I’ve had OCD (undiagnosed forever and now acknowledged by my therapist) since I was probably 6 or 7. And I constantly battle with my thoughts too and try to test them but we have to try not to do that to ourselves. We know ourselves, we have our proof within already. You love your mom, but the way a son is supposed to, nothing sexual about it. By fearing any other response you’re just causing that response. Your fear is driving your thoughts are driving your fear. Your actual feelings about your mom have nothing to do with that cycle. To break it, try to distract yourself with something productive or even just like a video game or tv show. Be nice to yourself. If the thought pops up, gently turn your attention back to something else. Easier said than done, I know, but it CAN be done.
 
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EstherRose94

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So for the last couple years my intrusive thoughts have been like bf isn’t good for me, he’s evil, I’m evil, he doesn’t really love me, I don’t really love him, I’ve disappointed everyone, I’m a bad gf/ daughter/ student/ sister. The thoughts play in my head still and sometimes they still scare the crap out of me if I start analyzing the “evidence” and stuff but I’m getting better at like if I’m feeling fear or anger or even quasi hatred instead of love towards someone I KNOW I love. Or towards myself. Then that’s my OCD. And I DONT have to listen to it.
 
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grentthealien

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I Very Much agree with Esther and Lunar. I hope I wasn’t stressing you out too much Reddit it’s just that I like to challenge these kind of thoughts when they’re out of hand. That being said sometimes trying to use logic to defeat these thoughts doesn’t work and in fact can make them worse.

Sometimes all you need is to listen to your heart and the support of others. I am 100% certain that you don’t love your mother in any inappropriate way. Just by talking to you is enough for me to know that. It seems that your OCD has been pretty bad the last month so how about you treat yourself to just one day free of your obsessions and rituals and spend it doing something you enjoy?
 
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Reddit384723

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So I’m now confident that this is more groinal responses related to OCD.



But now another thing has come up. I was in a weird sentimental mood a few days ago, and suddenly I had a thought pop up about my mother. I started having intrusive thoughts about incest again, this time it was about romantic love instead of sex. I did the same thing as before, “challenging” myself to look at a photo of my mother and imagine being in bed with her, talking intimately and kissing, doing stuff couples do in bed. I started getting a warm fuzzy feeling or chills, similar to how I felt looking at a crush/love interest or SO. I then did the same thing looking at a previous crush of mine, to compare, and got the same feeling. I then did the same thing looking at my sister, and got the same feeling, although it wasn’t as strong and it was only once.



I assume this is related to OCD, but I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I don’t even have a great relationship with my mother and barely talk to her, so if that’s the case, I doubt I actually have romantic feelings. But maybe I’m in denial. I’ve had an abnormal life and I’ve been isolated for a while. Maybe this is how incestuous thoughts and desires can develop? This is so time consuming, though.



For the record: the thought of being in love with my mother brings me disgust and extreme awkwardness. I wouldn’t be able to live if I realized I was in love with my mother.

I’m just not sure what caused those chills when I challenged myself to think about this. I don’t know what caused it. If I don’t have a good idea, my mind is going to torture me non stop with the “possibility” that it’s incest desire!
 
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EstherRose94

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If you try to challenge yourself and see what you feel I think you’ll naturally always feel what you’re trying to avoid. Not because of the picture or who you’re thinking of but by wanting to avoid those feelings you’re thinking about having them and thus causing them. You could do the same thing right now without looking at anything although maybe not as easily because your avoidance wouldn’t be as strong.
 
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johannesg

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I think the bigger the taboo more people think about it, and the more you don't wanna think about It worse it gets, as a law of nature we always think sexually of anyone close even if we are disgusted by the idea, like a woman may see or think about having sex with her mother at least once in her life, and was disgusted by the thought, but had it, sk thinking sexually about anyone you know is really normal and the more you think that you're sick or the only one going this, more you're gonna obsess about
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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So I’m now confident that this is more groinal responses related to OCD.



But now another thing has come up. I was in a weird sentimental mood a few days ago, and suddenly I had a thought pop up about my mother. I started having intrusive thoughts about incest again, this time it was about romantic love instead of sex. I did the same thing as before, “challenging” myself to look at a photo of my mother and imagine being in bed with her, talking intimately and kissing, doing stuff couples do in bed. I started getting a warm fuzzy feeling or chills, similar to how I felt looking at a crush/love interest or SO. I then did the same thing looking at a previous crush of mine, to compare, and got the same feeling. I then did the same thing looking at my sister, and got the same feeling, although it wasn’t as strong and it was only once.



I assume this is related to OCD, but I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I don’t even have a great relationship with my mother and barely talk to her, so if that’s the case, I doubt I actually have romantic feelings. But maybe I’m in denial. I’ve had an abnormal life and I’ve been isolated for a while. Maybe this is how incestuous thoughts and desires can develop? This is so time consuming, though.



For the record: the thought of being in love with my mother brings me disgust and extreme awkwardness. I wouldn’t be able to live if I realized I was in love with my mother.

I’m just not sure what caused those chills when I challenged myself to think about this. I don’t know what caused it. If I don’t have a good idea, my mind is going to torture me non stop with the “possibility” that it’s incest desire!

Visualisation techniques are used to give power to an image in your mind.

Athletes visualise winning...people in business visualise closing that deal or winning that contract. It works - it's a way to train your mind to focus on something and amplify it until the notion becomes all-pervading and ultimately your reality.

So...your 'tests' are constantly reinforcing the thought and image of your mother.

These thoughts are not worth exploring - picture a DELETE button in your head and just discard these thoughts as they come in - they're nothing but brain junk.

Your OCD will always leap on the very thing that makes you uncomfortable - think of it as a playground bully trying to taunt you.

You have control over what you think - push that thought out and replace it with something positive and healthy...and stop worrying xxx
 
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EstherRose94

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Agree with both of the above. And put together: it’s not crazy that this thought popped into your head in the first place BUT it doesn’t mean anything and you have to do your best to let that thought come and go without giving it extra attention.
 
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