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Temptation to Binge

prairiechick

prairiechick

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So on Thursday I went to the Christmas party for the mood disorders group that I go to, and wouldn't you know it, I won the "pass the present" game, which was a Christmas CD and a $10 gift card to Tim Hortons. That gift card is sitting there on the coffee table calling out my name. $10 could buy more than enough donuts and crap for me to binge on, and I wish to God I hadn't won that game. I've been trying to stick to a raw vegan diet because I desperately need to stop bingeing and lose weight, but I've already had 2 binges in the last few weeks and I don't want another binge, especially so close to Christmas.
 
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lovagemuffin

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hi I would be temped to binge too if all I was allowing myself was raw vegetables when your dieting if your too extreme you cant stick to it you just give in. why not go to the place have 2 or 1 donut then give the rest to a homeless person then you get xmas goodwill too! the middle way its ok to have 1 donut at xmas.
the middle way also means I can have......... I just don't eat the whole packet.
 
prairiechick

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My raw vegan diet includes veggies and fruits, but also sprouted lentils for protein, dried dates, and raw nuts. I also munch on slices of raw yams for something sweet. Also, my salad dressings include olive oil, so I'm not skimping on fat or calories.
 
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lovagemuffin

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oh my ive been waiting all year to eat some yams snorts.
 
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lovagemuffin

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no just yams then I laughed through my nose.
 
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Helena1

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Wish i could binge on $10, cost me like £20 a day and that is when i am buying all cheap stuff. no wonder i am in debt. :rolleyes:

anyway maybe you can give it as an xmas gift and if you already got them another pressie keep it for yourself. or you could give it to a homeless person or something.
 
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diabolicalme

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Hmm UK equivalent of $10 could buy a lot of crap binge food like the cheapest budget line biscuits, cereal, bread, cake etc unfortunately, especially just before closing time when stuff is reduced. I would hate to have won that voucher too for the same reason! If you haven't already used it, I would give the whole voucher away to a homeless person/charity to redeem it themselves. If you could really do with it yourself can you take someone shopping with you (who knows & understands your problems) so you spend it on healthy things in their presence? I know for me there's no way I could buy a bag of doughnuts and only eat 1 or 2, and even if someone grabbed the rest off me at that point, it would still set a binge in action. It's nice to have a treat, allow yourself some leeway occasionally but not if you know it will almost certainly set off a binge. I really relate to your post!!! Xmas such a tough time for us ED-ers :( x
 
prairiechick

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Unfortunately Tim Hortons doesn't have any healthy food. It's a donut and coffee shop, that also serves things like bagels, muffins, and wraps, but it's all really high fat stuff, even the chicken wraps. I haven't used it yet, and I've decided to give to the girl I sit beside in class, because she is always getting a coffee from Timmy's.

I am NOT in a good space with food right now. I ate too many desserts last night, and I am kind of freaking out about the next couple of days. Right now, at my mom's request, I am making meatballs that are going to go in a sauce with full fat sour cream. Tomorrow is going to be a fucking food day, with brunch at my sister's place in the morning, and then opening gifts with my whole family tomorrow evening. It's going to be chicken wings in a sauce made of Luisiana hot sauce and butter, cheese ball and crackers, and I am bringing a fruit platter and hopefully my sister will be doing a veggie platter.

Today I have only had breakfast, and it's almost 2 pm, and I'm planning to have a green smoothie for supper. I am really restricting calories on the days that I am not with my family. I planned on going for a long, up hill walk today, but I have a sore on one toe because I forgot to cut my toenails yesterday before I went for my walk. I really can't wait until all this feasting insanity is over and I can go back to my safe foods without having to worry about people watching and thinking that I'm not eating enough.
Hmm UK equivalent of $10 could buy a lot of crap binge food like the cheapest budget line biscuits, cereal, bread, cake etc unfortunately, especially just before closing time when stuff is reduced. I would hate to have won that voucher too for the same reason! If you haven't already used it, I would give the whole voucher away to a homeless person/charity to redeem it themselves. If you could really do with it yourself can you take someone shopping with you (who knows & understands your problems) so you spend it on healthy things in their presence? I know for me there's no way I could buy a bag of doughnuts and only eat 1 or 2, and even if someone grabbed the rest off me at that point, it would still set a binge in action. It's nice to have a treat, allow yourself some leeway occasionally but not if you know it will almost certainly set off a binge. I really relate to your post!!! Xmas such a tough time for us ED-ers :( x
 
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diabolicalme

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That sounds like an enormous struggle for you right now, and getting back to your safe space feels familiar to me. It's a real shame when it means it's difficult to just let yourself go to enjoy other aspects of being with family (or friends, as I currently am for the next week, and have been bingeing from the moment I arrived yesterday, and just done laxatives tonight which I really wasn't going to). I know going back to 'restricting' is an unhealthy mindset and approach to EDs but I'm stuck in that rut too of wanting to be back in control of all that I eat, no temptations whatsoever around, and no one noticing how much/little I eat AND losing the weight I've put on over these hols. I so wish there wasn't this big emphasis on food at every gathering or occasion, or that at the very least there were always really healthy options available. Keep dreaming, it ain't gonna change and we have to learn to handle it.

I'm glad anyway you sorted out the voucher biz.
 
prairiechick

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I just got back from another family thing, and again, I did fine with the meal. I even brought a big jar full of my green smoothie, which is safe for me because it's all veggies, but then, as soon as the cookies and sweets came out, I was a goner. We also had brunch at my sister's this morning, and I ate bacon for the first time in ages, and between the bacon and the sweets, I actually feel sick right now. I am hoping to use the "sick" excuse tomorrow too. I'm just not used to eating so much rich food, because I've been eating a mainly raw vegan diet, which I know some people refer to as orthorexia, but I just feel so much better on my simple raw vegan way of eating. I too am planning to do the laxative thing tomorrow, because we have yet another family dinner, and unfortunately I am in charge of making the pork tenderloin with wild blueberry sauce. And there is going to be pumpkin pie and apple tart for dessert. Maybe if I take enough laxatives tomorrow ahead of dinner I will actually feel too sick to eat. I can't wait for all this feasting to be over and done with so that I can get back to my healthy, safe foods.
 
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diabolicalme

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Hi there PC, there just isn't an easy answer right now for you, the pressures and temptations are too great (I saw your other post too). It's such a fucking hard time of year for us all :( hang on there back to 'normal' soon.. xxx

I guess you're right about the orthorexia. Altho I've been vegan (ish) for a long time (for several reasons), and low carb due diabetes, I know ALL the other aspects and my whole continuous approach and attitude in general to my whole diet is unhealthy, obsessed and doing me tons of harm. Deep down I know that. So yeah, I guess it is orthorexia on top of everything else - thanks for mentioning that. This is just not the time of year to beat ourselves up about it as we're currently doomed to 'failure', just need to get thru this period for the time being...X
 
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prairiechick

prairiechick

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I am just so glad that all the holiday feasting is done. Today I am going back to my raw vegan diet. I took drastic measures during all the holiday eating, and thankfully I did not gain weight over the holidays. I am not going anywhere near any New Year's parties, because I am sick of feasting and being around people. I will be perfectly happy to spend New Year's Eve ALL BY MYSELF.
 
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