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temporary psycosis- back to work

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lostgrl

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Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
3
Hi there. Unfortunately for me I had my episode around people I work with after I made the mistake of mixing alchohol with my medication for depression and anxiety.a mixture of life events caused me.to be sonhughly stresses and although I was uncomfortable in the social setting I stayed and drank more to make me feel less anxious. This unfortunately ended in me having a bad reaction. Not only did I have sever delusions that I was dying of cancer but I unfortunately work in the healthcare industry. Understandanly the people inwork with are very upset with me. Although they claim to understand I had a reaction and it was a temporary psychosis I've found people now seem to hate me with a passion. I can't take back what I said whilst delusional. I can't go back in time and undo it but I have apologised profusely.its making it really hard as at I have had to come off the tablets I was on and I'm finding the returning.to work part very very difficult. Being depressed whilst feeling hated isn't really helping the situation. Any advice other than he obvious. Consider this a lesson learned and will not be repeating drink and medication mix. It scared.me. A lot.
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Well first things first, atleast you have realised not to mix medication and alcohol, i drink myself extremely rarely because i feel im on a very high dose of medicine, and especially benzoes/anti anxiety medicine and alcohol does not mix well, as there is a double sedation effect whilst taking both of these, the effect of the benzoes is higher when alcohol is thrown in the mixer, and vice versa.

Ive had delusions aswell, i thought my internal organs were being knifed from the inside but i am fine now, and so will you be, this was for me one of my temporary psychosises which is why i mention it, as it went on for about 1 month and it wasnt deemed a long term psychosis, i had that apart from that but that's not the point at all here.

Id say dont apologise any further, it's okay to go through some sort of life crisis and it doesnt reflect you as a person at all, you've taken a huge leap by making a profile here and sharing your experience and i believe from your writing that you have learned alot from this temporary psychosis, as they can be drug induced especially if you mix different chemicals, our body is already consisting of natural chemistry which should not be altered if it can be avoided.

Try to stick to only the anti depressants and anti anxiety medicine only when needed and stay clear of alcohol from now on, that is my adwice to you and when you are on only one medicine you can see if it's okay for you to drink occasionally if this is something you enjoy to do, but then again dont overdo it.

As for your co-workers id say just let time pass and things will be forgotten hopefully, as long as your job isnt in danger there should be no permanent ill effects by this, and you should get back to your old routine in time, the saying time heals all wounds is correct and time also makes people forget.

Good luck, and you already know what to avoid in the future so no point in repeating myself, but if you need anti depressants try to stay on only that medicine.

Take care - Volnash.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
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Location
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It may not be that anybody hates you - I think that's unlikely.
What's more probable is that they might just feel a bit awkward and not know what to say to you.
I bet even working in healthcare, there is still some stigma around mental health and so if anybody is distancing themselves, it could be that they lack the skills to know how to communicate with you.

It must be difficult going back to work, but in time, i'm sure it'll be yesterday's news.:hug1:
 
FuzzyPeach

FuzzyPeach

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Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
92
Mixing alcohol with medication made me hallucinate. I'm certain you will not repeat that error.

I wanted to write to you beacuse i feel it is important that you don't blame yourself for past errors. There is nothing you can do about it and you were not well at the time. If people don't understand or accept that then that is their problem.

It is probably that your depression is contributing to these feelings of guilt and shame. Is your depression being treated? It is to be expected that you would find returning to employment difficult after what happened and also in your mental state.

Walk in with your head held high. Talk only to those who are kind to you. Ignore those who are not. Unfortunately there are some unpleasant people out there in the world and it is better to walk past them and not give their behaviour any time in your head.
 
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lostgrl

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
3
Hi there x unfortunately people have told me they hate me. I'm apparently a disgusting human being and deserve all the bad that happens. It's hard walking in with my head held high. They're talking to my b/f telling him to dump me and make me find somewhere else to live they're whispering and laughing at me and when I say whisper I mean the pretend whisper so you whisper just loud enough for the person to hear what they're saying. I worked so hard I even stayed in work for the duration of my anorexia treatment I worked through it and had no time off. I've just been in a meeting with my manager because all though in wasn't in work it upset a lot of people I work with. I just can't seem to make people understand . I'm scared of taking any medication now for my depression and I don't normally drink. I feel like my world is crumbling around me I'm still suicidal but I won't actually go through with it. It's just harder trying to get better knowing it's not in my head that I'm hated. I just can't understand as I would never make someone feel so bad for something like this happening if the shoe was on the other foot.im not a bad a bad person I know that but I feel so ashamed already I'm worried I'm going to be tipped over the edge. It's been a hard year but I now have this stigma stuck to me too. It's not nice being disliked but being hated is just a step too far for me to cope with right now.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
You're right, you're not a bad person.
I'm really disgusted at the attitude people have shown towards you. I can't believe people would be so cruel and lack so much compassion. :sorry:

How did the meeting with the manager go, by the way? Was anything said or put in place to make you feel better?

It's easy for me to say, not being in your position, but you don't have anything to be ashamed of. You were unwell, simple as. Hold your head up high and keep your dignity because if anybody should be embarrassed, it's your colleagues for being so horrid.
 
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lostgrl

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
3
Thank you haha I truly feel awful. I'm told in the manager meeting that I've lost my bonus which I worked all year for and have been placed on an action plan for taking time they approved 9ff to attend counselling so in other words I can go to the counselling but will be penalised for it. I also lost £1000 bonus. I can't believe I came in though my anorexia treatment and now they're screwing me over. If there ever was a time in my life I've said the world is against me. That statement has never been more accurate than today and thank you for your kind words. I'm glad someone else sees things the way I do. I think they thought everything I said whilst delusional was for attention. When in actual fact I don't want any attention from them I'd much prefer to be invisible.work have also just arranged a team meal and I've not been invited. According to the meeting I've just had my presence would make others uncomfortable. So I'm definitely now feeling even more alienated.really do want to give up on life.
 
FuzzyPeach

FuzzyPeach

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Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
92
Alot of people hate me too. When i look back over my life and career i remember that people have said nasty things to me, put me down, and sometimes that as deserved but often it wasn't. Some people naturally wont like us, it is just life and how things are. We mustn't dwell on it. Easier said than done sometimes, especially when one is depressed.
 
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