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Temporary or permanent??

G

Girl interupted

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Nov 17, 2018
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2,121
I'm personally of the opinion that for some, they are permanent. Without being purposefully negative, things like DBT and medication were of little to no help. Medication, in my case being Latuda, made things worse.

As far as talk therapy, at times I really enjoy the conversation and exploration that such a treatment can provide. On the other hand, being told by my counselor that i was "doing too much negative talk"...when it was about things that were objectively negative and my honest interpretation of them...was of no help. Things don't suddenly become positive, or less negative, to me simply by saying it is so. That's my individual case though, and everyone is different in this regard.

I do, however, hope that such things would be of benefit to you. Every viable option is worth exploring and I hope you're able to find some relief.
Not sure what version of dbt you took, but the one I took it was mandatory to partner one on one talk therapy (CBT or psychoanytical) with the dbt sessions so that you can process and understand the tools in dbt. Perhaps that was why it wasn't effective for you? It changed my life.
 
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Vegay

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Kent
Not sure what version of dbt you took, but the one I took it was mandatory to partner one on one talk therapy (CBT or psychoanytical) with the dbt sessions so that you can process and understand the tools in dbt. Perhaps that was why it wasn't effective for you? It changed my life.
I'd never even heard of DBT prior to signing up to this forum.
 
G

Girl interupted

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I'd never even heard of DBT prior to signing up to this forum.
I had not either so I investigated, was initially skeptical, then saw it actually work for me after taking three modules.

Changed my life.
 
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Vegay

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I've been on antidepressants constantly for over 16 years now. I've been on courses group therapy one to one counselling under the "care" of a psychiatrist given key workers and much more and I can honestly say I'm more confused now than I've ever been. So it feels pretty permanent to me even though I'm aware everything changes and nothing lasts forever.
I'm sorry that you feel this way too.
It's the whole "time heals everything" or "these feelings are temporary" expressions that I just can't agree with because like you, I often still feel confused.
 
V

Vegay

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Aug 27, 2020
Messages
69
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Kent
I'm personally of the opinion that for some, they are permanent. Without being purposefully negative, things like DBT and medication were of little to no help. Medication, in my case being Latuda, made things worse.

As far as talk therapy, at times I really enjoy the conversation and exploration that such a treatment can provide. On the other hand, being told by my counselor that i was "doing too much negative talk"...when it was about things that were objectively negative and my honest interpretation of them...was of no help. Things don't suddenly become positive, or less negative, to me simply by saying it is so. That's my individual case though, and everyone is different in this regard.

I do, however, hope that such things would be of benefit to you. Every viable option is worth exploring and I hope you're able to find some relief.
That's kinda what I think too. I don't think it is temporary for everyone but it doesn't mean that they aren't or haven't been trying.
You're right, everyone is different so therefore will react and respond to treatment etc differently too. Thank you for your comment at the end.
 
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Vegay

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I do not suffer from BPD. I posted some lines about that, as a mistake, in the bipolar forum. It was meant for this forum because I wanted to discuss terms regarded to DBT. Use of DBT has become more and more in use as a treatment for people with depression as well. (Some therapists use the whole "packet" for depression while others use only parts of it in combination with their own techniques).

May be what helps for the "only depressed" don't interest you, but I want to say that often things takes much longer then one expected whatever diagnose one has. With regard to BPD one has to expect a looooong time, may be a couple of years or more (have read that). It took some time to develop the "borderline-habits" and so it is with creating new habits as well. Don't measure time, but be aware of progress (steps toward a better life).

If you feel well with you therapist, may be it is a good thing to continue.☺

Here are the therapies that are most in use with BPD:

Why not sit down and write down what reactions you want to change in yourself and focus specific on them, and so bring your successes and none-successes to your therapist?
Thank you for taking the time to share this.
 
V

Vegay

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It took me almost four years of twice weekly therapy to start to see a change. Mostly because I was stubborn and terrified and didn’t want to work on my traumas. I would edit myself in therapy to make my therapist like me more, and diminish what I had been through. This helped no one.

It was only after, once I felt safe, that I began the hard and painful work of talking about my trauma that I started to see a difference in my mood and stability. First the depression lifted for the first time in decades. It was an odd feeling to recognize that I was no longer depressed.

Then I took dbt classes. They gave me real life tools to deal with my unpredictable bpd mooods. I started to feel more in control, more stable.

It then led me to fully and truly accept my own life’s realities. I no longer told myself false stories to self soothe. I recognized what happened to me. I saw my reality clearly for the first time in my life.

Then I let it go.

And by letting it go, it’s freed me. I am more stable, with a few hiccups, than I have ever been. My resiliency has returned. I am no longer subject to the whims of bpd. I am in control.

The only way out is through. You have to be incredibly brave and confront those traumas. That’s when you will see change.

Good luck.
Happy to hear that you are doing quite well. Pleased that you were able to make those things work for you.
Thank you for your comments.
 
Prince of Cinders

Prince of Cinders

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Sep 12, 2020
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Suffolk, VA
Not sure what version of dbt you took, but the one I took it was mandatory to partner one on one talk therapy (CBT or psychoanytical) with the dbt sessions so that you can process and understand the tools in dbt. Perhaps that was why it wasn't effective for you? It changed my life.
For me, it was a 1 on 1 with someone, but most of the time it felt like i was just spinning my wheels. I don't discount the fact that i'm stubborn, but at the end of the day, it just didn't work. For example, there was a section we did about understanding distress and how to deal with it (i want to say it was called stress or distress tolerance, but it's been a minute). One of the basics involved doing things to relax yourself, or involving yourself in meditation or soothing exercises to help. I could not do those things at all.

For the most part (and again, perhaps it's just what's wrong with me in general), i felt the entire experience was a massive waste of time and money. It could have been the pyschologist i was using at the time, or any other number of factors, but the entire "things will get better" or "this problem is only temporary" always came across as "just think happy thoughts.", which is of little value to me.
 
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Vegay

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Aug 27, 2020
Messages
69
Location
Kent
The last part of your comment is where I'm currently at. I really like my counsellor. However, I've got to the point where I'm wondering if there are benefits of talking to her now or an I just continuing it because of the attachment I feel. It's expensive so I'm not sure what to do. I don't even think I could stop now even if I want too.
 
Delilah67

Delilah67

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Jul 25, 2020
Messages
90
Location
Herefordshire
It took me almost four years of twice weekly therapy to start to see a change. Mostly because I was stubborn and terrified and didn’t want to work on my traumas. I would edit myself in therapy to make my therapist like me more, and diminish what I had been through. This helped no one.

It was only after, once I felt safe, that I began the hard and painful work of talking about my trauma that I started to see a difference in my mood and stability. First the depression lifted for the first time in decades. It was an odd feeling to recognize that I was no longer depressed.

Then I took dbt classes. They gave me real life tools to deal with my unpredictable bpd mooods. I started to feel more in control, more stable.

It then led me to fully and truly accept my own life’s realities. I no longer told myself false stories to self soothe. I recognized what happened to me. I saw my reality clearly for the first time in my life.

Then I let it go.

And by letting it go, it’s freed me. I am more stable, with a few hiccups, than I have ever been. My resiliency has returned. I am no longer subject to the whims of bpd. I am in control.

The only way out is through. You have to be incredibly brave and confront those traumas. That’s when you will see change.

Good luck.
Thank you for sharing this and for giving me hope !!! I’m so so glad things are better , how inspirational it is to hear How you have succeeded!!!
 
Blooming

Blooming

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Apr 15, 2020
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256
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mycountry
(...) there was a section we did about understanding distress and how to deal with it (i want to say it was called stress or distress tolerance, but it's been a minute). One of the basics involved doing things to relax yourself, or involving yourself in meditation or soothing exercises to help. I could not do those things at all.

For the most part (and again, perhaps it's just what's wrong with me in general), i felt the entire experience was a massive waste of time and money. It could have been the pyschologist i was using at the time, or any other number of factors, (...)
I am sorry to hear that you could not use the "distress tolerance". That part is the most crucial for understanding the DBT. If you have made notes, may be you should sit down and read about it and try again. Therapists can make mistakes. They are not gods, you know.

When it comes to relaxation exercisis the most important is to be able to feel the difference in your body between tense and relaxed. It is so easy that you can try it by makeing one of your hands tight and then open it. What is the diffence (the feeling) between these two positions for your hand.

By the way, relaxation techniques is part of many types of therapy for differnt disorders.

:flower2:
 
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