• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Temporary or permanent??

V

Vegay

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2020
Messages
69
Location
Kent
It's always been a popular expression that "these feelings are temporary" or "this part of your life is temporary" and "It will pass."

When would you consider it permanent??

I know that not just counselling, medication etc will help, I understand that self help had to be a factor too.

I've been speaking to my counsellor for approx 9 months. The care coordinator for about 5 months and on medication for about 4 months. I also try various self help techniques.

Yet I'm still here feeling the same. The only change I guess, is that I'm not attempting suicide every now and then. But I'm still anxious, negative, the myself, don't want to be here, overthink about the past, obsessed with certain things etc.

It feels permanent to me.
 
Zaz

Zaz

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
507
Location
UK
I've been on antidepressants constantly for over 16 years now. I've been on courses group therapy one to one counselling under the "care" of a psychiatrist given key workers and much more and I can honestly say I'm more confused now than I've ever been. So it feels pretty permanent to me even though I'm aware everything changes and nothing lasts forever.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,121
It took me almost four years of twice weekly therapy to start to see a change. Mostly because I was stubborn and terrified and didn’t want to work on my traumas. I would edit myself in therapy to make my therapist like me more, and diminish what I had been through. This helped no one.

It was only after, once I felt safe, that I began the hard and painful work of talking about my trauma that I started to see a difference in my mood and stability. First the depression lifted for the first time in decades. It was an odd feeling to recognize that I was no longer depressed.

Then I took dbt classes. They gave me real life tools to deal with my unpredictable bpd mooods. I started to feel more in control, more stable.

It then led me to fully and truly accept my own life’s realities. I no longer told myself false stories to self soothe. I recognized what happened to me. I saw my reality clearly for the first time in my life.

Then I let it go.

And by letting it go, it’s freed me. I am more stable, with a few hiccups, than I have ever been. My resiliency has returned. I am no longer subject to the whims of bpd. I am in control.

The only way out is through. You have to be incredibly brave and confront those traumas. That’s when you will see change.

Good luck.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,121
It’s also sometimes hard to gauge progress when the healing process is often so slow. You’re no longer suicidal. That’s a massive step forward, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.

Keep doing the hard work.
 
Zaz

Zaz

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
507
Location
UK
I'm happy for you in finding something that has changed your life for the better. Long may that continue 🙂
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
256
Location
mycountry
I do not suffer from BPD. I posted some lines about that, as a mistake, in the bipolar forum. It was meant for this forum because I wanted to discuss terms regarded to DBT. Use of DBT has become more and more in use as a treatment for people with depression as well. (Some therapists use the whole "packet" for depression while others use only parts of it in combination with their own techniques).

May be what helps for the "only depressed" don't interest you, but I want to say that often things takes much longer then one expected whatever diagnose one has. With regard to BPD one has to expect a looooong time, may be a couple of years or more (have read that). It took some time to develop the "borderline-habits" and so it is with creating new habits as well. Don't measure time, but be aware of progress (steps toward a better life).

If you feel well with you therapist, may be it is a good thing to continue.☺

Here are the therapies that are most in use with BPD:

Why not sit down and write down what reactions you want to change in yourself and focus specific on them, and so bring your successes and none-successes to your therapist?
 
Zaz

Zaz

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
507
Location
UK
My key worker is always telling me that. It took many years to get to where I find myself now and it may take many years to heal myself. I'm very self-critical. It's a very useful thing to learn and helps take some of the pressure away by not expecting a quick fix 🙂
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
256
Location
mycountry
I see that DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) was not mentioned in the reference I gave. That has become one of the "hottest" forms of therapy for Borderline nowadays. What the reference showed, however, was that there is more than one therapeutic frame out of Borderline.
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
256
Location
mycountry
My key worker is always telling me that. It took many years to get to where I find myself now and it may take many years to heal myself. I'm very self-critical. It's a very useful thing to learn and helps take some of the pressure away by not expecting a quick fix 🙂
I think that every person has his or her personal story and for some, whatever diagnose they are labled with, it takes years to build emotional "habits" that, may be, are not funcional for them, so it takes years to build more functional and better ways to cope. :flower2:
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,187
Location
Glasgow
It's always been a popular expression that "these feelings are temporary" or "this part of your life is temporary" and "It will pass."

When would you consider it permanent??

I know that not just counselling, medication etc will help, I understand that self help had to be a factor too.

I've been speaking to my counsellor for approx 9 months. The care coordinator for about 5 months and on medication for about 4 months. I also try various self help techniques.

Yet I'm still here feeling the same. The only change I guess, is that I'm not attempting suicide every now and then. But I'm still anxious, negative, the myself, don't want to be here, overthink about the past, obsessed with certain things etc.

It feels permanent to me.
Mental health issues are usually not a temporary thing. Various ilnesses are just that, they are ilnessed like any other disease. Keep up your meds and stick with the help your receiving. You will learn how to manage it eventually.
 
Prince of Cinders

Prince of Cinders

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
94
Location
Suffolk, VA
I'm personally of the opinion that for some, they are permanent. Without being purposefully negative, things like DBT and medication were of little to no help. Medication, in my case being Latuda, made things worse.

As far as talk therapy, at times I really enjoy the conversation and exploration that such a treatment can provide. On the other hand, being told by my counselor that i was "doing too much negative talk"...when it was about things that were objectively negative and my honest interpretation of them...was of no help. Things don't suddenly become positive, or less negative, to me simply by saying it is so. That's my individual case though, and everyone is different in this regard.

I do, however, hope that such things would be of benefit to you. Every viable option is worth exploring and I hope you're able to find some relief.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,187
Location
Glasgow
I'm personally of the opinion that for some, they are permanent. Without being purposefully negative, things like DBT and medication were of little to no help. Medication, in my case being Latuda, made things worse.

As far as talk therapy, at times I really enjoy the conversation and exploration that such a treatment can provide. On the other hand, being told by my counselor that i was "doing too much negative talk"...when it was about things that were objectively negative and my honest interpretation of them...was of no help. Things don't suddenly become positive, or less negative, to me simply by saying it is so. That's my individual case though, and everyone is different in this regard.

I do, however, hope that such things would be of benefit to you. Every viable option is worth exploring and I hope you're able to find some relief.
Yea my point was its not going to be a temporary thing. Ive been dealing with disease for almost 30 years now. All you can do is try manage it the best you can
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,187
Location
Glasgow
Yea my point was its not going to be a temporary thing. Ive been dealing with disease for almost 30 years now. All you can do is try manage it the best you can
Get your meds sorted to a point your ok with and take any help avalible
 
Top