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Tell me about your depression

wollie

wollie

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Sep 29, 2019
Messages
3,806
Location
warwick
I want to know your experiances of depression how it effects you in every day life.
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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Apr 10, 2020
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My house
Well I had major depression in my late teens until I was about 26. Caused me to cry and withdraw. I started medication after rehab and started feeling much better. Sobriety and counseling helped me understand and end my condition and with the knowledge I learned I am able to help myself a little at a time each day , to a better place.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
3,766
Location
Canada
I'm not really depressed these days, maybe a little at times, nothing like the black hole I know it can be. Most of my hard days are in the past, yet life is still not easy.
 
B

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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England
I remember being deeply depressed when I was 12. I would lie on my bed, listening to grunge music and wishing I was dead. I made several suicide attempts during that time. I was in a world of pain and misery. I was alone and isolated. I did not have any friends and was unable to have the normal experiences a young person has. I would say the biggest impact depression has on my life is I never had any carefree times or joy.
 
wollie

wollie

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Sep 29, 2019
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Location
warwick
That was a terrible age to get depression @bpd2020 , mine started in 2008 its been 13 years now
I have good days and bad days, the worst thing for me is to have a good day then spiral down to a bad day, howare you feeling now?
 
sunset547544

sunset547544

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Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
1,028
Location
UK, London
Had it on & off for a long time. Got really bad after run in with drugs. Still suffering now nearly 7 years after that often very badly. I also have to deal with a huge sex drive which sounds fun but is actually hell and a marriage I regret. Overeating & medication would probably be simple solutions but I don't take these options because of the adverse effects. I don't know where all the time went I was to busy thinking about how unhappy I am.
 
Lavender_Rose

Lavender_Rose

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Apr 12, 2020
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United States
I don't know when my depression started, the anxiety started when I was very young before school age. Maybe the depression kicked in more around my middle school years or at least that when it got more noticeable, around 11 or 12. Thats when I remember gaining weight. Before that I had always been really skinny. I kinda stay in a low mood most of the time with occasional happier time. But I also have really down times. They can last for a long time, currently in one. So daily life is alway wanting to just be in my bed alone. I randomly cry, but I try to hide it for the most part. I have no energy to keep up with my daily life. I feel like a trash person because I don't spend time with people. I let my laundry pile up so high. Everything seems to get to be so messy and I see it but all I can think about is sleep. Feeling like I have to hide it all can be very taxing and sometimes I know people see it on my face that I've been crying and they just don't say anything. I just feel constantly pathetic. Then sometimes all it takes is someone saying are you okay and ill feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. Or someone even saying I love you, because I look in the mirror and wonder why, what is there to love, and does that really outweigh all the bad that come with it.
But thats just like me in some really bad times experiences and daily life.
 
M

MissyK93

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2020
Messages
6
Location
London
I don't know when my depression started, the anxiety started when I was very young before school age. Maybe the depression kicked in more around my middle school years or at least that when it got more noticeable, around 11 or 12. Thats when I remember gaining weight. Before that I had always been really skinny. I kinda stay in a low mood most of the time with occasional happier time. But I also have really down times. They can last for a long time, currently in one. So daily life is alway wanting to just be in my bed alone. I randomly cry, but I try to hide it for the most part. I have no energy to keep up with my daily life. I feel like a trash person because I don't spend time with people. I let my laundry pile up so high. Everything seems to get to be so messy and I see it but all I can think about is sleep. Feeling like I have to hide it all can be very taxing and sometimes I know people see it on my face that I've been crying and they just don't say anything. I just feel constantly pathetic. Then sometimes all it takes is someone saying are you okay and ill feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. Or someone even saying I love you, because I look in the mirror and wonder why, what is there to love, and does that really outweigh all the bad that come with it.
But thats just like me in some really bad times experiences and daily life.
It does get really hard and nothing seems to work sometimes! Even if you lay in bed try watching a funny Show that helps me sometimes
 
B

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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That was a terrible age to get depression @bpd2020 , mine started in 2008 its been 13 years now
I have good days and bad days, the worst thing for me is to have a good day then spiral down to a bad day, howare you feeling now?
I hate that drop in mood too. Luckily today I am okay. How are you feeling today?
 
wollie

wollie

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Sep 29, 2019
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Location
warwick
Hi bpd2020

Today is not a good one, bad voices, feeling down, cant stop feeling nervous, I am glad that you are having good times:D
 
B

bpd2020

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Hi bpd2020

Today is not a good one, bad voices, feeling down, cant stop feeling nervous, I am glad that you are having good times:D
It sounds like today has been really tough for you. I hope the anxiety has eased now and you can relax.
 
I

Ian Haines

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Joined
Aug 5, 2012
Messages
436
Location
Merseyside, North West England.
My depression was the AntiChrist! Then, I began throwing tablets at it, and now it only comes alive when something brings it out that is a real, material cause of such down heartedness!
 
M

ManDss

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Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
679
Location
Argentina
Even write that I dont have a job gives me a bad feeling. Dont have money to buy anything I like, I dont live alone. im 28 old. Been statting and quitting careers since the last five years at least.

Thats the material part.

Loneliness is hard. Alone all days, over and over. Just districting my mind with the things I have.

Relationship with my mother is really difficult. She treats me really bad, because all my whole situation. She asks me for help, I try to do the best for her, she thanks me and say how bless she is to have a son like me. Then I make a little mistake, due to my problems, and then Im nothing to her.

Sometimes I think "do I really love her ? How I can feel some kind of affection to a person that just tries to make you feel so bad ?".

Its a long story, she had a stroke long time ago, her brain doesnt functions normally, so I know she just cant think in a normal way, she is highly agressive because her brain is bad.

I used to have a great relationship with my mother. I love her, and she loved me.

Because of my depression that became really bad 7 years ago, I started to have many kind of problems, that I still have now.

She isnt an easy going person either, we started having fights, I can let go things, but she cant reason logicly.

Last Thursday we have a good day, I went to visit her and I left from her house we both in good terms.

Today I didnt call her in the whole day until 10pm (I call her everysingle days, saturdays I usually go to visit herz but on friday I told her maybe Ill go on sunday, she said its ok), she told me that she was fine, in a serious an angry voice, I knew she was mad because didnt called her earlier and didnt go to visit her, she said "Im ok, today I spent the day recieving to a lot of people, a neighbour came to fix the sink, then came the guy to take out the dog, then the gardener, all people, I saw all people, except my son".

Didnt go to her house because Im sleeping terrible, yesterday didnt sleep the whole night, I dont like to stay awake at night, but my sleep is a mess, Ive been fighting with my slee like a battle, just cant. And because of this, didnt go to visit her, I was too tired at the day to go to her house, Im like a zombie when dnt sleep good.

I dont have much things to tell her when we speak on the phone, she gets angry because she ask me what Ive done today, and dont have something to tell her, time ago, I used to call her and she said "Yes, im good, so what ? Whay you want to tell me", and I say "just nothing, just to know how you are", she replying "if you dont have anything to tell me, dont call me".

She gets amazed by other men of my age (and younger), saying how good they dress (thing I dont, Im a mess), how kind they are with her (thing I dont, Ive lost my s%%it many times with her). She says "everyone treats me good, all say how good person Im, except you, Im always a problem for you, maybe I wasnt a good mother, maybe shouldnt care so much to give you and ur sister a good education, I always tried to do my best".

She is very emotional, and childish, because, again, the strole she had. I try to explain her things in a calm way, but she is just stocked with her dark thoughts.

She did great things in the past, she was a great mother, but now is a constant fight.

But anyway, loneliness, really hits me. Just all days at home, not having anyone to go out and have some chat, or even exchange some ides on the phone. Theres no point to me to have a life just doing things alone.
 
M

Msy

Member
Joined
Nov 8, 2020
Messages
19
Location
England
I want to know your experiances of depression how it effects you in every day life.
I think i always have been.
My mums schizophrenic so i spent a lot of time when i was younger caring for her even when i didnt really know what was happening.

Spent a lot of time without friends or being able to talk about stuff.

I thought id done a lot better in the last 5 years but the last 7 months have caused me to spiral into one of the biggest episodes ive had.

I just kinda lie there staring at the wall most of the time.
This forum has helped a bit. Feel like i can write some of what im thinking anonymously without being judged and worrying about what people will think.
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
724
Location
Not sure
Feeling very depressed at the moment...everything going wrong. Even trying to sort my house out/leave things straight in case I end it all. I feel something bad is going to happen soon.
 
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