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Talking

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Fruitloop

Guest
In real life and to people on the net.

I'm perfectly happy to do my own thing in every other way but when it comes to interacting with people, nothing. I typed out 5-6 replies to peoples threads today to try and help, but deleted them and started doing something else. I know what I wanted to say and the context of what was being said but my mind went wtf are you doing? Your only going to have to explain what you just said anyway. A couple of sentences is going to turn into a 2 page essay, is it really worth contributing something? In real life its even worse. Always end up blurting out the equivalent of a riddle.

Not much of a talker tbh, more of an observer. Can crack a joke and be an idiot but those small number of times when I actually want to say something, nothing.

Is it just a matter of keep talking to people till it gets better?
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
4,585
Location
On a comet
If you feel that observing is more to your strength's then for the time being, go around reading posts/threads. And when you feel the time is right, start replying to threads?
The talking will come with time and experience and also it will increase your confidence.

Also if you do reply to posts/threads, then you don't have to explain what you mean unless you really want to? But there is no pressure from myself or other forum members to have you explain yourself :)
 
C

Caro5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 3, 2015
Messages
169
Location
Too far from home
Yes to practicing posting but only if you want to. My experience of being on forums is that I go through phases of finding posting really easy and believe it is beneficial to me and hopefully the thread in general. Other times I just feel like it's pointless and nobody cares what I think etc etc. so I just let it lie. But neither posting or not posting should be a pressure point.
 
catkin

catkin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
5,170
Location
in a bit of a ravel
I am very quiet, live alone, rarely speak much to anyone. But I still have stuff to say, too many feelings and a need to connect. Here I am sometimes quiet and avoid lots, always hate conflict, but other times I post more. I still feel remote but sometimes it helps to write anonymously. Hope you can find a place that feels comfortable here x
 
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Elle-X

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2014
Messages
184
Location
Lincolnshire
Hey Fruitloop :) I'm very much the same, I tend to stand back and listen to everyone else and it's so frustrating when you know you have a good point to make but sometimes you can't find the words to say it. Keep cracking jokes and smiling and hopefully you'll open yourself up to more in-depth conversations. Remember that your way of looking at the world is unique and by speaking out, whether it's online or in person, you'll be contributing in a positive way somehow.
 
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Fruitloop

Guest
How long does it take? Ive always been like this. I say hi to people in the street, talk to people at shops, the postman etc, but its always a single sentence. Its very hard to keep a conversation going.

If you feel that observing is more to your strength's then for the time being, go around reading posts/threads. And when you feel the time is right, start replying to threads?
The talking will come with time and experience and also it will increase your confidence.

Also if you do reply to posts/threads, then you don't have to explain what you mean unless you really want to? But there is no pressure from myself or other forum members to have you explain yourself :)
Thanks Anime, I really appreciate you reaching out to me when you did and the exchange of pm's. This place seems full of lovely people and it feels rude to take and not give anything back. Even saying this make me self-conscious with all the "me"s "I"s etc. Selfishness. Whether its a plain answer, offering help or even just saying that you understand what they're going through so they don't feel alone. Its embarrassing to talk if that makes sense. Realised that the only way forward is to push myself. Not a wordsmith or anything just would love to be able to hold a conversation.

Yes to practicing posting but only if you want to. My experience of being on forums is that I go through phases of finding posting really easy and believe it is beneficial to me and hopefully the thread in general. Other times I just feel like it's pointless and nobody cares what I think etc etc. so I just let it lie. But neither posting or not posting should be a pressure point.
I think you may be onto something there. Maybe its too much pressure.
 
C

Caro5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 3, 2015
Messages
169
Location
Too far from home
Not absoluteLy on topic but you know there are plenty of folk out there doing a lot more talking than listening and it is NOT making the world a better place. i think there is a lot of pressure on people these days to have something to say, an opinion, a fix when what we really need is a lot more real proper listening, more understanding, empathy and hugs. Often when I am feeling bad I know myself what a lot of the things I need to do are so I don't need advice I just need to know that I am not alone and that folk are trying to understand.
Hugs
Caro
 
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Fruitloop

Guest
Not absoluteLy on topic but you know there are plenty of folk out there doing a lot more talking than listening and it is NOT making the world a better place. i think there is a lot of pressure on people these days to have something to say, an opinion, a fix when what we really need is a lot more real proper listening, more understanding, empathy and hugs. Often when I am feeling bad I know myself what a lot of the things I need to do are so I don't need advice I just need to know that I am not alone and that folk are trying to understand.
Hugs
Caro
Always thought that too, the constant blahhh that comes out of some people mouths drives me nuts. Maybe subconsciously I don't want to become like them.

Hey Fruitloop :) I'm very much the same, I tend to stand back and listen to everyone else and it's so frustrating when you know you have a good point to make but sometimes you can't find the words to say it. Keep cracking jokes and smiling and hopefully you'll open yourself up to more in-depth conversations. Remember that your way of looking at the world is unique and by speaking out, whether it's online or in person, you'll be contributing in a positive way somehow.
I am very quiet, live alone, rarely speak much to anyone. But I still have stuff to say, too many feelings and a need to connect. Here I am sometimes quiet and avoid lots, always hate conflict, but other times I post more. I still feel remote but sometimes it helps to write anonymously. Hope you can find a place that feels comfortable here x
Yes to practicing posting but only if you want to. My experience of being on forums is that I go through phases of finding posting really easy and believe it is beneficial to me and hopefully the thread in general. Other times I just feel like it's pointless and nobody cares what I think etc etc. so I just let it lie. But neither posting or not posting should be a pressure point.
thank you ladies (?):hug5:

Its probably multiple things. Consciously and subconsciously.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
4,585
Location
On a comet
Fruitloop, your my friend and I honestly believe that with time, your confidence will grow and you will be less conscious about posting/talking or not posting/talking. And even if you don't change, that doesn't change the fact that we're friends. I accept you regardless of what happens.
 
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