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Talking to parents / friends about your depression

inicornus

inicornus

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I have a question, which I think only this forum can help me out with. When (if you did) you told your parents or friends about your depression, how did you start the conversation? I was thinking of talking to some friends or my dad about it, but I have no idea how to discuss it. I'm quite good at hiding my feelings, and I feel like I'm normally listening to my dad's or friends' problems, and not necessarily talking about my own.
 
Marrex

Marrex

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My mother was the first person I told when I had my first suicidal thought at 10. But, to be fair, she had already been seeing a psychiatrist for 5 years at that point for her own Postpartum Depression. I can say I had the rather unique opportunity of knowing that I wasn't alone, at least in that regard. However, even then I think my Mom didn't wanna accept that I was mentally ill, as I was far too young. Finally, the day after my 15th birthday, I spelled it out for her while she was yelling at me, for what reason I don't even remember, but I will always remember what I said:

"I need help. I need medicine, I think. Something is really wrong with me." She went quiet the rest of the way home, but within a month I finally had a psychiatrist and not just a therapist. I think the approach should be different depending on the person, though. I don't know what your dad is like, but if he's anything like my mom was he may need to have it spelled out for him. I hope this helps!
 
inicornus

inicornus

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My mother was the first person I told when I had my first suicidal thought at 10. But, to be fair, she had already been seeing a psychiatrist for 5 years at that point for her own Postpartum Depression. I can say I had the rather unique opportunity of knowing that I wasn't alone, at least in that regard. However, even then I think my Mom didn't wanna accept that I was mentally ill, as I was far too young. Finally, the day after my 15th birthday, I spelled it out for her while she was yelling at me, for what reason I don't even remember, but I will always remember what I said:

"I need help. I need medicine, I think. Something is really wrong with me." She went quiet the rest of the way home, but within a month I finally had a psychiatrist and not just a therapist. I think the approach should be different depending on the person, though. I don't know what your dad is like, but if he's anything like my mom was he may need to have it spelled out for him. I hope this helps!
Thank you a lot! This really helped!
 
J

JSS005

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I didn’t tell my family until I was in my late 30’s. I knew my mom would blame herself and that’s not what I needed. I didn’t tell anyone really other than my best friend and my, at the time husband, now ex, who told me I was crazy and just being dramatic. A good reason why he’s the ex. It wasn’t until I reached my mid 40’s that I realized that I was feeding into the stigma attached to mental health issues and now I tell anyone and everyone. People shouldn’t have to live in silence or fear or judgment, especially by their family. I think the best way to approach it, is to come right out and tell your dad how you’ve been feeling. Explain to him that you need him to know and you need his support . It’s not easy, I know, I spent a lifetime hiding. People are genuinely shocked when I tell them about my multiple diagnoses. I don’t know exactly how to start the conversation but please, for your own health and well being, start the conversation. I wish you the best and I hope you get the support you deserve! J
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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I told my parents after I was severely suicidal. It’s a don’t wait for me now. I tell everyone and everything when I’m not feeling well.

take care
Bluejay
 
M

Marianda

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When my depression/anxiety started, I did not know what was wrong with me. I simply thought I was stressed and sad. I started self medicating, buying tranquilizers and sleeping pills. I did not say anything to my parents because at that point I had no relationship with them. I did not tell anything to my friends either.
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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When my depression/anxiety started, I did not know what was wrong with me. I simply thought I was stressed and sad. I started self medicating, buying tranquilizers and sleeping pills. I did not say anything to my parents because at that point I had no relationship with them. I did not tell anything to my friends either.
Everyone knew with me. It was hard to cope knowing everyone knew everything. But I did. Now here I am ten years later feeling good about my own recovery again. I ended up losing all my friends to my illness. Never fun having to explain to someone. But I made new friends maybe not as many and maybe they’re just acquaintances but it works for me!
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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I told my parents after I was severely suicidal. It’s a don’t wait for me now. I tell everyone and everything when I’m not feeling well.

take care
Bluejay
Me, personally, I would wait until someone asks me first why I act the way I do and why I am so sad and emotionally detached all of the time. Even then, I wouldn't tell them everything. I would let them pull the details out of me. I think if I told them everything right away, that would make them feel uncomfortable and less likely to have a conversation with me about my condition.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Is it just me, or do other people feel that saying "I'm mentally ill" rather than "I have a mental illness" make the first statement sound worse than the second statement? If so, why do you think that is?
 
Marrex

Marrex

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Is it just me, or do other people feel that saying "I'm mentally ill" rather than "I have a mental illness" make the first statement sound worse than the second statement? If so, why do you think that is?
Yea. "I'm mentally ill" almost has the connotation that something wrong with yourself, as opposed to "I have a mental Illness" which is more... Accepting? I'm not sure what the word I'm looking for there is. lol
 
deliverevil

deliverevil

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Telling people knout about your condition is wrong confiding in someone takes a huge weight off your mind.
 
M

Marianda

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Everyone knew with me. It was hard to cope knowing everyone knew everything. But I did. Now here I am ten years later feeling good about my own recovery again. I ended up losing all my friends to my illness. Never fun having to explain to someone. But I made new friends maybe not as many and maybe they’re just acquaintances but it works for me!
When I started feeling bad I tried talking to my friends about my symptoms. I really felt I needed someone's support/help. However their reaction was to label me as an "extremely negative person" . Those that I thought were my friends even called me a "toxic person". No one ever understood that I was going through a major depression.

I'm still deppressed but I never discuss that with my friends. It's useless, they don't understand what deppression is.
 
00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

00Bluejay7500 (was Scapes1986)

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When I started feeling bad I tried talking to my friends about my symptoms. I really felt I needed someone's support/help. However their reaction was to label me as an "extremely negative person" . Those that I thought were my friends even called me a "toxic person". No one ever understood that I was going through a major depression.

I'm still deppressed but I never discuss that with my friends. It's useless, they don't understand what deppression is.
Depression in general sucks but it’s worse not being able to share, in my opinion. Sharing is something I did a lot of in the AA and NA rooms. I would tell random strangers my problems in hopes to get rid of my delusions and paranoia. Mental illness is different I guess. There’s no “rooms” to share except for out patient/impatient programs. It’s not so much a struggle to share as it is to feel accepted and comfortable with the outcome. I also got labeled toxic. From my community and family, although I was last to know. I don’t feel like I deserve that label because I did so much good work in my recovery. There were people in program that wouldn’t share and I would understand why, but not really. Sharing for me creates a kind calm atmosphere and gives me strength. But ya know I wish I could go back in time and listen more. Maybe then I could of avoided these problems I’m having today.

take care
Bluejay
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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It's a shame that your friends don't understand depression, but society in general doesn't understand depression. You make yourself quite vulnerable when you disclose your condition to people. Are they still your friends?
 
deliverevil

deliverevil

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There's plenty of toxic people about the beauty in life is to over come them.
 
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