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Talking on the phone

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Candy19

Guest
I've had this anxiety forever, even when it comes to talking to friends and family over the phone I still avoid it at all costs, has anyone managed to overcome this?

I want to start working, but a lot of the jobs I think I'd be okay at include handling phone calls so I end up not applying solely for that reason!

It's honestly becoming more and more of an annoyance every day
 
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TheRedStar

Guest
This can be a massive issue for me... I'm not so bad speaking to friends and my mum over the phone, although I'd much rather talk to them in person, but I do anything I can to avoid conversing with strangers and 'official' people via telephone.

I'll give you an example of this... several years ago I needed to change a dental appointment, and to avoid doing this by telephone I did an 11 mile bike ride just so I could have a roughly 30 second conversation in person.

I haven't solved this problem, but something which makes 'businesslike' phone conversations easier for me is making sure I know as much about the topic of discussion as possible before making a call (obviously this advice isn't much use for when such people phone you!). Don't go too far in that direction though... prepared scripts can easily be derailed by the other person, thereby provoking anxiety.

Regarding familiar people, the thing I find about phone conversations is that even close friends tend to sound colder via that method of interaction... people's vocal tones are often harsher and flatter. I think it's what happens when you can't see the other person's face to gauge how they're receiving your words... we're simply not designed to talk remotely.
 
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Candy19

Guest
I legit can't do it

I just tried to phone for something and I was fine with the automated shit, but as soon as they put an actual person on the phone, I froze up, couldn't speak and didn't know what the f to say so I hung up
 
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natalie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
11,618
Hi Candyfloss,

Could i make a suggestion; you could always look on line, and see if there is a contact them section, and fill out the on line form, under the contact us, and leave the message you want to say, within the form, for me, this is so much better and with my communication problems plus mental h ealth anxieties, to organise, than phoning.

Also, you might like to if you do have a computer, try emailing generally people, rather than phoning and also emailing is so much more quieter, than the phone ringing.


I had noticed this post earlier on in the day, I hadn't been physically well, so I couldn't post then.


Just a couple of tips in terms of a) maybe to look for a website that has a contact us, and also maybe thinking about generally emailing people, or texting, much quieter than the phone ringing all day long.


I wish you luck with this.
 
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LaPetiteGen

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2018
Messages
6
Honestly, I know how you feel. I loathe talking on the phone even to family/friends. I've gotten to the point that I would prefer to "talk" either in person, via text or email. When I have to talk on the phone for business because there just aren't any other options I will literally write down what I want to say first. I've found that having a "script" makes all the difference and once I get talking it becomes so much easier. I also have to remind myself - the person on the other end can't harm me and who really cares if I stumble over words- what difference does it really make at the end of the day? What matters is overcoming our fears and not allowing small things to hinder us from doing great things. Praying you find what will work for you and that you step out in bravery to beat this fear and find a great job that will allow you to excel!
 
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MysticalGypsyPrincess

Member
Joined
Sep 29, 2018
Messages
22
Location
Canada
I have phone anxiety as well! so I can understand what your going through.
My mind goes blank from the anxiety so then there is that awkward silence & I can't think of what to say, my heart pounds too, which distracts me from what I'm trying to think of what to say.
What has helped me: pretending I can see the person in front of me And writing down what I will say before I say it, that way I'm somewhat pre-paired.
 
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Amyjane8812341

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
66
Hey
I'm sorry your having to deal with this .
I suffer with agoraphobia and at one point I did not leave the house ,answer the door or the phone or even go in my garden. I am glad to tell you I can answer the phone now although I do find it very hard and stressful still.
How I did it was I got my other half to speak to a friend about my phone anxiety. They would ring then my other half would answer then pass it to me. We would not talk much just say hello well done and I will call again tomorrow. I then had to take the step of answering the phone when my friend called. The first time I did it my other half was right here with me. All I said was hello and bye. So that's how I did it. A tiny step at a time . Like I said I still find it very hard but the more I do it the better it is .
Is there any one you could ask to help you with this problem?
Hugs
Amy
 
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KDBnSLC

Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2018
Messages
5
I’m new here and I hate talking on the phone with ANYBODY! It’s nice knowing I’m not alone. I prefer texting.
 
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zanga

Member
Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
5
I have the same anxiety about talking on the phone. I blame it on not being able to hear very well or focus on the phone call (and wearing earbuds or headphones to hear the other person in both ears does help tremendously), but I still get the anxiety before weekly skype calls I have with my friends. Honestly, besides the headphones/earbuds, the only thing that helps is exposure therapy with people I trust. Doesn't have to be long or talk about anything important, just keep at it and it will get easier. At least, that's how it worked for me.
 
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KDBnSLC

Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2018
Messages
5
Talking on the phone.

Funny, I didn’t have this problem as a teenager.
 
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